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I debated posting any Faerieworlds photos until I’ve had time to edit and, in several case, photo shop. But summer has been upon us with glorious dry days. My computer is upstairs and it gets pretty darn toasty up here in the summer (and stays toasty in the winter, this is an all-around perfect place for my computer since I hate cold! And anything below 72 degrees F is sweater weather to me). It has been a tad bit too warm upstairs to sit and photo shop. And a whole lot too nice to come inside, so I have been sitting out in the lawn chairs with my newly retired lover, enjoying the hummingbird wars.

I have hundreds of hummingbird photos.

Back to Faerieworlds. Three of us traveled together this year and we hooked up with my dear friend, Mary, for tea in the afternoon. Actually, because it was so stinking hot this year, we had lemonade instead of hot tea – a much nicer refreshment for bodies that craved electrolytes and fluids! I loved the hot, but my companions began to melt early in the day and even my persistent use of a spray bottle to mist with did not help (this Nevada girl always carries a mister in the hot summer time).

The costumes…

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Well, there were several above-sea-level jelly fish floating around.

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The usual parade of beautiful fae and Amazons.

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A Giant meets a Green Woman. The giant seemed intrigued by the slow-moving mossy persona as she crept around the dancers and vendors, stealthy and steady as northwestern mosses are.

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Any number of warrior fae patrolled the grounds.

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This Steampunk Adventurer regaled us with a story of clinging monkeys. I don’t remember much of the story – I hated to tell her that I seriously loathe monkeys and the one on her helmet made me very nervous!

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I think he was quite proud of his kilt and stein combination!

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My friend said, “When we are old, I am *not* going to Faerieworlds with you any more.”

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“But there are beautiful older fae here,” I replied.

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And next year, I am getting a parasol rather than trying to shield my eyes with a hat or a hand!

There were some costumes this year that were not worthy of my blog, Beautiful People trying to be more beautiful by taking more off. I’m not opposed to nudity and not especially offended by it. Sometimes, however, there is a fine line between nudity and exhibitionism. Very often, there is a greater bent toward exploitation than hedonism – and I certainly noted that at this year’s festival of the fae.

Good Faeries and Bad Faeries. I’m more on the Good Faerie side, I guess.

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She deserves a blog post of her own, but I will fit her in here, in context, in the center of Faerieworlds where she moved, shadow-like, a figure so haunting and ethereal that I could not take my eyes off of her.

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She knelt and thought, her breathing controlled.

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What being is she, I wondered? SO aloof and distant in the midst of laughter and music and joy?

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A figure of death? Or a shadow of the Afterworld? Is this what a Banshee looks like?

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She tucked her head and waited, offering no explanation.

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Alone. Her movements were fluid and poetic. silent and contemplative.

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She was, in short, beautiful. There did not seem to be a dark magick about her, only a lonliness and a distance. She reminded me of the forest, after a fire. Or a dying snag, beautiful with the fungus growing out of it – the very fungus that killed it.

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Then there was this – I scarcely had time to raise my camera to capture it: a faerie in red offered the sad fae a gift, and then I understood. She was simply Beauty and Beauty is often a lonely entity, a silent thing that creeps into our world overnight in a sudden snowfall that hushes and mutes everything – then melts away as suddenly.

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I ran into the Genie. He’s there every year. We posed together and joked before he continued on his journey. What I did not know was this: a Black Fae had attached itself to my camera lens! There it is, hovering before my face, the naughty Tinkerbell of Faerieworlds.

And the reason I really wanted to photoshop my pics before posting them.

One last photo – my favorite. Faerieworlds is a place for alter-abled fae as well as the rest of us.

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I asked if I could take their photo and these beautiful alter-abled fae grinned. “Of course! replied the one with the white parasol. And so I snapped their photo. My favorite photo. Beatiful fae out to enjoy a beautiful day!

Busy Few Weeks

Oh, where do I begin?

Faerieworlds? Grandbaby? Nephew? It has been a whirlwind of events over the past few weeks. Faerieworlds deserves its own post, but I cannot promise it will be timely to the event: we are back into a 90-degree (F) weather pattern and that makes the loft (where my computer is) stuffy & hot in the evenings when I have time to post. I could have posted last week, but somehow time slipped by – and there was no post. Time slips by a lot, lately.

There have been a lot of changes at work, not the least of which is that I am pretty much the “Last Woman Standing” from the “old” crew. All the accounting staff I started with in 2007, when I moved to the Closing Department of our company – all of them, except moi – are gone. The last one got married in July and quit by the end of July to start her new life with her beloved. She was my best friend at work and is sorely missed. I feel a little like I have just started a new job because I am learning the new personalities and quirks of an entirely new staff!

Faerieworlds came and went, and while I did not take a ton of photos, I have enough photos to share and a long blog post to write about the 2013 experience, which includes taking a new acquaintance to the event – and our budding friendship, which I hope blossoms. Faerieworlds deserves a post of its own and I am not in the mood to do that tonight.

Tonight belongs to family.

Last week, the day after Faerieworlds, I drove north to PDX. I timed it according to the internet: Arwen’s flight from Alaska was on time & I wanted to cruise through the arrivals exactly 10-15 minutes after her arrival to pick the kids up as they exited the concourse. Of course, their flight was early and they had to sit on a hard bench, waiting for me. Verity, just 3.5 months old, slept through the entire flight and wait and consequent ride to our house.

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Verity looks just like her mother at the same age, but acts considerably less colicky. Arwen was a colicky baby. Maybe it was because I was a new mother. Maybe it is because Arwen is such a calm mother.

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At one point, Chrystal & Brian, Arwen, Sam & Verity, and I were all together in the backyard. It was wonderful to have so much of the family together.

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Poppa certainly enjoyed his second granddaughter!

They left on Wednesday. On Thursday, my nephew flew in from Minnesota.

It’s a long story: my sister died suddenly when she was just 40. She contracted Necrotizing Faciitis (flesh eating bacteria) and died within 36 hours. She left behind several small children and my oldest nephew (then 21? I think he was 21). Chrystal was the oldest, a full orphan at the time. She was almost 9. Mike was the next, a boy of almost 5 year of age. His father took him to live in Minnesota. Then J. J stayed in Nevada with my sister’s widower and his soon-to-be second wife. J is still there.

Mike just graduated from high school and turned 18. He flew out to see his older sister and this weekend, we barbecued with him and Chrystal.

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Joe Cool. My nephew, fresh from Minnesota, savoring the steak barbecue. He’s just looking for family connections.

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Grand-dog, Fen, came along. Fen has grown so much since his last visit! He’s pretty well-behaved and I think his next visit will be more of an open visit. We will let him meet Harvey outside of the kennel. Murphy would probably be the better playmate, but Harvey is less scary as a big dog. Harvey will be intimidated by Fen, but that’s OK. Harvey dislikes confrontation.

Fen – despite my preconceived dislike of little dogs – is a pretty decent little dog. Of course, he is my grand-dog. 🙂

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Brian is the best guy in the world. Whether or not Brian knows it, I consider him my son-in-law. he is definitely the bast man for Chrystal. The three of them went through the only photo album I have that includes pictures of Chrystal & Mike’s mother. I wish I had more.

I wish I had stories. But I left home at 17 and my sister and I drifted apart. We wrote letters, of course, and somewhere I have all those letters saved. But we were worlds apart.

All I have now of her is her children. Her children are beautiful. I hope she knows that.

Warning: this is strictly a gardening post. It is advice on how to handle Creeping Myrtle when she gets out of control.

Don’t worry: you don’t need a stun gun. A shovel will come in handy, however.

Flash-back: nearly 29 years ago. We lived in a cute bungalow with a wonderful shade garden. We had no money and we were robbing Peter to pay Paul, and we lost the cute little bungalow to our bad debts. In the meantime, I learned to garden in the Willamette Valley, and I first encountered the encroaching powers of Periwinkle.

It grows slowly. It is nowhere as invasive as the dreaded English Ivy (she’s a real bitch in the gardening world, and the City of Portland has banned her from yards) or Kudzu, that invader from the Far East. He’s a nasty invader.

Myrtle, however, is patient. Shallow-rooted. She is also a European invader, but one which can be contained with a little patience and an investment in labor. When I was young – 29 years ago – it didn’t seem like it was all that hard to trim the Periwinkle back. I managed to contain it to one flower bed. It wasn’t “hard” in my mind: I just put a shovel under it and “rolled it up” like a carpet, eventually cutting off all the runners and roots when I rolled up the periwinkle carpet to the point I wanted to contain it. So easy to do when you’re still young… And there are no peonies to save.

Flash forward to a much wiser and much older us. When we moved in, I noted the variegated Vinca Minor that grew in the little triangle flower bed. “I’ll cut it back when it becomes a nuisance,” I thought. I was still in my forties.

It grows slowly, did I mention that? So it took it ten years to cover half the triangle. The triangle is an area about 12’x10’x6′. The problem is this: there are several peonies in that triangle, and they have slowly been choked out by the pretty purple  ground cover.

This weekend, I decided that I really needed to tackle that project. I forgot that I was in the latter half of my fifth decade. The weather was cool and over-cast and I watered heavy: what could go wrong?

Oh, age, time, sunshine, and the fact that the Periwinkle grows so thick that water doesn’t penetrate the foliage enough to moisten the soil adequately for removal of the creeping vine. Nothing else.

Basically, it was the same procedure I used back when I was young: you get a shovel under the Periwinkle and lift it up. Lift and shake the topsoil from the roots, and cut the vines until you pull off an entire section. Repeat. If you do this early enough in the life of the plant, you can contain it to one area and keep it from invading where it should not.

I never maintained it and I had half the triangle to clear out.

Truthfully, I originally thought I’d just hack it back a little. But when I got started, I realize I really didn’t want to do this again. *Ever Again.* It was either clean the Vinca Minor completely out of the bed or repeat this procedure in ten years, when I’d be pushing 70. Um, NO.

It took me two days. I worked hard until the cloud cover burned off and the radiant heat from the garage (the north side of the triangle) forced me to give it up. I retired a pair of jeans and a sweaty t-shirt by 1:00PM on Saturday. I was wobbly-kneed, dehydrated, and sore in every muscle. I sat in the lawn chair and stared at this now-nemesis of mine.

I like Creeping Myrtle. The flowers are pretty and they last in a bud vase. The foliage is evergreen and the variety in our garden is a variegated kind which is striking. But as of yesterday, I hated it in that triangle. I hated it because I knew that if I didn’t get it completely out of there, that it would eventually come back and haunt me – or haunt whoever takes over this home when I die.

I’m pretty certain Barney did not plant it.

Barney Schultz bought this house in 1930. It was partially built then and he finished it. He raised animals, ran a butcher’s shop out of the garage (or somewhere nearby) and he loved peonies. Eventually, he sold off most of the land and gave up making sausage. But he never gave up on growing peonies. Sometime in the 1970’s or early 1980’s, he carried arm fulls of peony blooms across the street for the neighbor’s daughter’s wedding celebration. Everyone who knew Barney remembered his passion for peonies. My 85 year old neighbor to the north tells me that the yard was once a “meadow of peonies”.

Barney would not have liked the Periwinkle. Of course, he would have hated the grass that invades the peony beds, too. And the mole that cruises the yard, but that’s another post.

As I hacked at the last yard of Periwinkle, I felt like Barney was standing on the sidewalk, looking down. “Thank you,” he whispered, “for saving my peonies.”

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It looks pretty barren now that I am finished. I moved some of the creeping thyme in hopes that some day I will have to “control” that as well (it’s even easier to control)(that’s the green bit of life to the right of the photo). The peonies that have been buried for 10 years breathed a sigh of relief.

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I saved three flats of Myrtle.

I asked my husband what he thought I should do with it. Put it out on the street with a “free” sign?

He said, “Plant it under the lilacs.” He hates mowing under the lilacs. It grows slowly. I don’t have to give up the Periwinkle entirely. It’s a win-win solution.

I’ll do that next weekend. I’m too tired to think about it now.

Summer Birds

The advent of nicer weather has not only warmed my toes, but it has forced me to get my camera out again. I have taken to sitting in a lawn chair with the camera on my lap, 75-300mm lens on, and lens cap off. I am stalking birds without moving very many muscles and while sitting in the open. Sometimes I have a book nearby or my Kindle, but I am waiting.

I cannot possible share all the photos I have taken – the ones I kept, that is. And I have only scratched the surface of the variety of birds that use our yard for habitat. The dying lodge pole pine tree out front is never empty: nuthatches, Northern Flickers, Band-tailed Pigeons, Black-Capped and Chestnut-backed Chickadees, Bushtits, English House Sparrows, House Finches – those are just a few of our regular visitors to the tree. But I cannot see much of the tree from my perch in the backyard, and most of those birds are safe from the lens.

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I discovered – by accident – that one of our female Anna’s Hummingbirds is fond of showers. She sat under the sprinkler on a ninety-degree day, spreading her wings and chasing drops on the grape vine.

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It is fascinating to me that as much as she loves the sprinkler, I never find hummingbirds stopping by one of the two bird baths in the yard.

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They take their water with sugar. The male Anna’s is much too shy for a photo.

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She came back to the sprinkler and played on yet another day. I think she winked at me.

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I prefer to buy hummingbird feeders with perches so the wee insectivores can rest a moment. Somewhere, I read that professional photographers like to use feeders without perches so they can capture hummingbirds in flight. I can see why. I have a mix of styles in my yard and the ones with perches get the most use, but the birds don’t hesitate to hover around the other feeders as well.

Juiced up, they fly to the top of the dying pine tree and catch small insects.

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The Song Sparrow has lived around here for years. There are always a couple of nests nearby – thankfully, they are not in our yard. They have nested in our yard, in the crazy Camellia. That’s a sad story and I cried: when the babies fledged, we were outside with Murphy. He spied the fledgling running across the grass and –

Well, I rescued the baby from him (he is a bird dog and he has a soft mouth), but it died in my hand. No punishment was meted out to the dog (he is only a dog), but the sparrows learned – and they have not nested in our yard since then. Next door, yes. But not in the Yard with the Killer Dog.

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If you go to AllAboutBirds.com and click on the “typical voice” button, you can hear what this Song Sparrow was singing.

I have been trying to capture him taking a bath in the bird bath out back, but so far, he has eluded me. I have noticed that some birds don’t seem interested in bathing, but they will come to the water to drink: chickadees, finches, English House Sparrows, the Pileated Woodpecker, the flickers, and the pigeons all relish the water. But the thrushes, the scrub jays, the starlings all love to use the big bird bath out front as a bathtub. The Song Sparrow uses the bird bath in the back yard as his bathtub.

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The birds are wary here – the dogs have easy access to this bird bath. But the neighborhood cats have easier access to the one out front. Perhaps that is why the smaller birds come out back for water and the larger birds use the one out front.

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The female House Finch gives me the Evil Eye. “Hey! This is almost empty over here!”

Blame the Black-capped Chickadees.

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They came through with their fledglings and cleaned out the bird feeder. There’s seed all over the ground.

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But you really can’t be mad at a bird like this, can you?

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“Chick-a-dee-dee-dee!”

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Not all of my photos are a success. I had a hard time following this female English House Sparrow as she worked her way along the fence. I think she saw the camera and was camera-shy.

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There are plenty of photos of bird’s butts as they duck behind leaves. (That’s a Bushtit.)

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Exit: Stage Left. Or is it Right?

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Ack! Camera! Flee!

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Bird on a Hot Tin Roof?

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And then there’s this. The Band-tailed Pigeon stare. I don’t dare have an empty feeder with birds that look like this…

(click on the photo. That red-eye glare will give you nightmares…)

 

Around the Yard

The first weekend of Summer is almost officially over. We had one nice day. Today, it rained. That’s pretty normal for this corner of the world, but it makes my toes cold and wet. I categorically refuse to wear socks in the summer.

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I am trying out this nifty new product. I’m not sure if it has a name or not, but if it does, it’s an Ant Moat. It hangs between the hook and the hummingbird feeder and you fill it with water. In theory, it stops the ants because they can’t swim. Sounds logical and if it works (this feeder is in an area with heavy ant traffic), then I will purchase more of them. I should have washed the label off first, so next time…

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This was a spur-of-the-moment purchase. A funky glass bird feeder that is probably prettier than functional, but I filled it and put it on a shepherd’s hook in the backyard. now to see how long iot takes the little birds to find it (it’s much too small to host the big birds – they’ll have to share with the squirrels out front).

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Speaking of bird feeding: for three years in a row, I have had zero fortune with growing sunflowers. I’ve never had such a black thumb with such an easy plant to grow, but there you are. This year, my husband decided to not mow down the volunteer sunflowers that sprang up underneath the front yard feeder.

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He made that decision after I sprang for six sunflower starts at Portland Nursery, which are also doing quite well. I took this photo before I added the old croquet balls to the yard decor. There are only four croquet balls left from the cheap variety store set we purchased when our kids are little. The brandboys used to roll them down the handicap ramp out back, but now that they live far away, I’m turning the set into yard decor.

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I like random yard art. The door knob is one of three that came inside a chest of drawers I purchased at Goodwill. They’re just funky plastic door knobs still attached to part of the door. Inexplicably, someone saved them and I repurposed them to the garden.

The gazing balls are just cheap plastic ones. I positioned them on the roots of a bush that died in my garden. When I dug it out, I decided I liked the shape of the root ball and rather than toss it away, I am using it for yard art.

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An old lawn chair becomes support for the Russian Sage. By the time the sage blooms, it will be tall and prone to falling over. The chair fits over it perfectly.

012The remains of an old stool become a tomato cage for one of my struggling tomato plants. My wire art hangs from two store-bought tomato cages. And my grapevine is beginning to take over the corner.

We’ll have grapes this year if the birds don’t beat us to them!

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Speaking of random yard art, Daphne has taken up residence on my cheap garden bench.

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So did the cast iron bird. You can see my bench had an accident. Eventually, I will recycle the bench into yard art as it is cheaper and easier to just purchase a new bench for $40 than it is to find replacement slats. I just have to decide what I want to do with the old bench first.

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I bought this at the Farmer’s Market. The artist called it “Bird on a Stick”. She had dozens of the birds & even sold sticks, but I told her I had plenty of sticks in my yard to use.

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I did some planting on Saturday: the peppers are staked with old hot-wire stakes. The stakes consit of rebar with a ceramic insulator at the top. I have about 8 of them that I picked up out of an old barn on some property we lived on long ago. They don’t make hot wire stakes like these anymore and I’ve used them for a variety of purposes over the years (Christmas lights, plant stakes, gate stops, temporary fence for horses that I no longer own).

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I have no idea why I took a photo of our one and only tree. It’s a dying Lodgepole pine. Two bird feeders and two suet cakes dangle from it. We call it a “Habitat Tree” because it attracts so many birds to our yard. As such, it can’t be cut down. Sadly, it’s completely dead on the north side and slowly dying up the other side. My dad suggested it has a fungus. We know it has tiny black borer beetles. It’s not tall enough to be a threat to our home (the towering Douglas Firs across the street are a bigger threat), so we’ll just let it stay there as long as we can use it for the birds.

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This is Earl’s House. Earl is our resident (and brazen) star-nosed mole patriarch. We don’t know how many Earls live in the hole or what Earl’s wife’s name is. Earlene? Chrystal named Earl when I was trying to teach her dog to mole hunt. There will be more blogs about Earl as I am getting ready to wage war with him (humanely, if possible).

War was actually declared by Earl the night before Father’s Day. He came out of his hole while Harvey was standing there, did the little gopher dance from “Caddyshack”, and then retreated into darkness when I tried to point him out to Harvey.

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Speaking of Harvey. It’s an on-going battle to keep him in the yard.His last escape attempt was at this gate. He figured out that if he kept jumping on it, it would eventually unhinge and open. Fortunately, I caught him in the act. I stapled a tomato cage (opened and flattened) across the weak point so he’ll stop pushing on it. So far, so good. Another temporary foil until he finds a new weak spot in the yard.

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Sometimes I just have to resort to funky with the big dogs. This is my funky “do not pee on this bush” fence. They’ll probably pee on the wires, but they’re still too far away to kill the bush.

Why do we have dogs…?

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Which segues into other critters, like snails, slugs and fairies. Here I have the supplies to build a fairy house. A real one, not the sort I make in my studio. The kind that attract real fairies. However, I haven’t done much with it because of the snails and slugs. If I build a hollow, the gastropods will invade it and make it their home. I don’t want to put slug-and-snail bail down inside a fairy house because it’s probably toxic to fairies (not to mention the matter of aesthetics and dead slugs/snails.

I have an idea, but I need to commit it to paper and then visit a hardware store and make a tiny model first. I think a faerie house on stilts with a place underneath to kill slugs and snails? I could post slug bait warning signs for the fairies and the birds wouldn’t be getting into it, either.

Or the dogs.

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More on critters: there has been a dearth of these in my yard this summer. We started out strong with the honeybees and bumblebees, but two things have happened that have affected out population. They moved a huge hive that was building outside of a church steeple in early June. My husband said they were relocating them back inside the steeple. All I know is this: the honeybee population in our yard took a dive. It’s starting to come back (I saw six honeybees yesterday).

The other blow was to bumblebees. I still have them in my yard, but it seems like there are far fewer and I’m concerned that what happened in Wilsonville (50,000 bumblebees dead) has happened closer to home. I worry, too, that individuals purchase the insecticide Safari and apply it in their own yards, indiscriminately and because most people think bees, wasps, and hornets are the same thing.

I joined the Xerces Society.

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While I was chasing down the honeybees for a photo, this guy kept buzzing me. It’s a young bald-faced hornet. They can be pretty aggressive, but if you don’t get excited and swat at them or you don’t get too close to their hive, you’re usually pretty safe from them. This one definitely let me know how close I could step to the lavender while taking pictures of him. Of course, maybe he was just posing for the lens.

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And then there’s the dogs. In a classic move, Harvey, the submissive, hides his treat from Murphy, the domineering. Murphy won’t force the issue (these dogs have never gotten into a fight), but he’ll hover in case Harvey drops the treat.

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“Please drop it, Bro!”

“Nope, nope, nope. Yumm.”

And last, a little interlude from Earl the Mole’s cousin:

 

It has been a long time since I have posted photos of my grandkids onto my blog. I apologize, because I really have the cutest grandchildren on the face of the earth. I have some pretty good-looking children, too.

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Saturday’s Child.

You know the nursery rhyme?

Monday’s Child is fair of face

Tuesday’s child is full of grace

Wednesday’s child is full of woe

Thursday’s child has far to go

Friday’s child is loving and giving

Saturday’s child works hard for a living

And the child that’s born on the Sabbath Day

Is bonny and blithe, happy and gay

My little Verity is a Saturday’s child.

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She is surrounded by a pair of Tuesday’s children and a Thursday’s child. Brothers like these will make a formidable alliance when she’s old enough for boys to notice her!

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My Monday’s child had an accident with a razor. But she certainly fills the bill: Monday’s child is fair of face.

I just threw this one in. It has nothing to do with grandkids. I just happen to think it’s a darn good photo of my youngest – she’s my Audrey Hepburn child. And she has provided me with a grandpuppy that I have been teaching to hunt moles.

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A mighty tired Fen, my grand-doggie.

(After all, all grandkids who come to visit me should get fair billing. I have yet to meet his siblings, the grand-kitties.)

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Then there’s these boys. Oh my gosh – what sweet, loving, boisterous little guys! Makes my heart pound!

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And, of course, Miss Korinne with her daddy. Which segues into the next nursery rhyme…

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Before I post the nursery rhyme, I want to tell you a little story. When I was a little girl, I once asked my mother what she had wanted in a little girl before I was born. I mean, how did she imagine I would look before she actually had me? She told me that she imagined a little girl with natural curly hair. Black hair, like my father’s steely black hair.

Of course, I have flat brown hair. Not a one of us kids inherited my father’s black hair and not a one of us had naturally curly hair.

And then there’s Korinne.

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Every time I look at this photo of my darling granddaughter, I think of this nursery rhyme (sorry, Kaci & Levi  – but it pops out at me!). My mother used to say it all the time:

There was a little girl

who had a little curl

right in the middle of her forehead.

When she was good,

she was very, very good –

but when she was bad,

she was horrid!

**photo credits: 1 & 2 by Arwen Weisser

2 & 3 by Chrystal Wilcox

5 by Levi Presley

4 & 6 by Kaci Presley

Hospital Surfing

Guess what I did today? I went hospital surfing. I’m not certain it will catch on as a sport but I am certain some family members will be put out because they didn’t know I went hospital surfing. I do hope they will read the whole blog and will understand that 1)there really wasn’t anything to report and 2) I was dealing with my own issues on top of lack of sleep, so something as simple as making a phone call kind of went out the window. Fatigue will do that to you.

My alternate title for this blog is “Things to do on Your Day Off at the Hospital.”

Or “Why is there a blue latex glove on the ground outside my house?”

There really was a blue latex glove on the ground outside the house this morning.

I really did have the day off, too. I had two appointments: a 10:00 with the dentist to set a crown and a 2:30 with a CT Scan. I figured that between them, it wasn’t worth driving to work in between. As it was, I never made it to the dentist appointment. That was rescheduled for Friday at 3:00.

Last night, Don & I met in the kitchen to talk. We do that frequently when the weather is too bad to go sit outside in lawn chairs (which is most of the time here). He leans against the kitchen sink and I stand by the stove and we recount our day, our concerns for our kids, what we have planned for our immediate future and long term future, and everything under the sun. Don poured a second glass of wine for both of us and I contemplated how soon I could get into bed even though I didn’t have to get up early in the morning.

He turned a funny ashen color and looked around nervously. “I feel dizzy.”

“Do you want me to help you walk to your chair?”

He nodded and mumbled, turning paler. I stepped forward to put my shoulder under his armpit but he just collapsed in front of me. Kind of slid down the front of the cupboards, landing gently in a sitting position with legs akimbo and eyes wide open and blank. He wasn’t there.

I reached for the phone and dialed 9-1-1. I detailed quickly what had just happened, where I lived and that my husband had a history of A-Fib. Sometime during the first few moments of the call, Don roused himself a little and looked up at me.

“Why did you call 9-1-1?”

<pause for you to absorb that line>

I finished my call with the operator by explaining that I had to secure our two big dogs before the paramedics arrived. Then I hauled the pair of them outside and into their outdoor kennels. Hurried back in, realized I was bra-less and corrected that (a girl has to do what a girl has to do to save the minds of unsuspecting paramedics).

Oh, sure, laugh. But I want to know: how many of you who wear bras during the day time, ditch that torture device as soon as you walk in that front door after work?

Things happened very quickly from that point on: four burly firemen came into my kitchen and stuck pieces of tape onto Don’s body (and even shaved some of his chest although I warned them that I like men with hairy chests – none of that body-builder shaved chest look for this woman!) and asked me questions about his health. Don was somewhat coherent at this point, more bewildered than anything. I’m sure he was thinking, “Did Jaci wash the dishes in the sink? Don’t let them go into the bathroom. It’s a mess…”

Then the ambulance arrived and the second shift came in. These guys came with Don’s own special guerney.

They also convinced me that they should take my husband to a hospital more capable of dealing with heart issues than the one down the street. So off to Meridian Park they headed. I made a last minute sweep through the house, called each one of the kids and gave them a five second “head’s up”, and then locked the door. I went a different way than the ambulance and beat them to the hospital.

From that point on, it got incredibly b-o-r-i-n-g. Don’s vitals were normal. They drew blood. We were left in an ER room behind a big curtain that zips together. Don had a roommate on the other side who said random things (loudly) like, “DON’T TALK LIKE THAT, THERE ARE SMALL CHILDREN HERE.” Once in awhile, between snores, snorks, and inarticulate grunts, said person would hear a nurse sneeze. “GEZUNDHEIT.”

Around 2AM, they determined Don would spend the night and they started the process of securing a room for him. I left. All the bars were closed as I drove through Oregon City – I can’t remember the last time I was out later than the bars were open. I let the kids know I was home and it looked OK.

At 4, I fell asleep. At 7, Murphy woke up and went looking (again) for Don. At 8, Murphy woke up and started to go looking for Don but I yelled at him and he lay back down. I called the dentist and canceled my appointment. At 9, the garbage men picked up the trash and Murphy went ballistic. At 9:30, I punished him by shoving him back into his outdoor kennel and leaving him. Take that, Murph!

Darn dog, anyway.

I reached the hospital by 10. And NOTHING WAS CHANGED – except, of course, that Don was in a room. Finally. He said he didn’t get a room until 8AM. It was that busy at the hospital although we were in the ICU wing and it seemed rather quiet there.

It was a long day of just sitting and waiting. I read three YA books that a friend mailed me a week ago. The Rugendo Rhinos Series. I hope the link works. It’s an aside, but I have a friend who grew up in the same mission as where the books are set and it’s kind of like a peek into that friend’s childhood.

I had to leave before the doctor got up to see Don because I have my own issues. Yes, I italicized that.

The whole reason for taking today off was so I could fit the CT Scan in. At another hospital, although if I had known I was going to be hanging out all day at Meridian Park, I certainly could have scheduled it for there. As it was, I had to hospital surf. I drove back to Willamette Falls Hospital so I could have an IV put into my arm (also) and iodine solution pumped into my veins.

You see, that stupid kidney thing is back. At least, we think it is in my kidneys. We don’t really know now that kidney stones have been effectively removed (from my kidneys and from the bigger picture). We’re back to the first imaging that was done in early 2011: the CT Scan with an iodine solution and diagnostic x-rays.

Meanwhile… well, if I can talk about remembering to put my bra on before paramedics show up, I guess I can throw this bit of TMI out, too: I pee red. Blood clots. Yeah. It’s all very mysterious and pain-less.

So if I didn’t call anyone, it’s because I was sort of preoccupied with my own stuff today. Hospital surfing. It’s a sport for the strong of spirit and weak of stomach (I avert my eyes when an IV is mentioned).

Anyway – the upshot of Don’s imprisonment is that the blood pressure meds they put him on during the original episode seem to be making his heart beat TOO slow. He spent the night restless because every time he drifted off to sleep, his heart rate dropped to 30 and he set off alarms. Otherwise, he’s the picture of health.

They took him off of that med and told him to follow up with his GP next week. I got to bring him home.

My issues? Well, we’ll find out Monday if they could find anything.

One last thing: Don *is* still talking to me even though he thinks the whole night-in-the-hospital was a waste of time (his) and resources (ours and the insurance company’s). I told him the moral of the story is simple: “Don’t faint in front of your wife. Ever. Not ever again.”

It’s not allowed.

Oh – and if you’re a family member that didn’t get called and you’re miffed, look at it this way: I am secretly practicing to see if I can beat your record for hospital surfing. Because we’re all becoming pretty good at this as we age, don’t you think??

 

 

 

“High Water”

I really need a good laugh right now. I bet you do, too. So I need to dredge something out of my history to make us all happy.

This one is called : “High Water”

The year was 1991. My oldest was in second grade and attending a terrible public school in southeast Portland. That’s a minor detail except that it helped push me into homeschooling when my hand was called a few years later: send my kids to a school like this one or…? I chose homeschooling.

We had one car: a 1984 Ford Escort four-door hatchback. We purchased it with 3 miles on the odometer, fresh off the docks. Paid for it up the wazoo after an uninsured driver rear-ended me and “totaled” the car (which lost half of it’s value the moment we drove it off the lot). Insurance gave us a check and let us keep the car; we had to pay for the remainder of the loan. The car died on Highway 213 with a police escort (pun intended), but that’s another story.

High Water was many years before that.

I worked as a parttime secretary/bookstore volunteer/receptionist for a small (but growing rapidly) church. It would one day be a “mega church” but in those days, I still managed the office mostly by myself. The church provided Day Care for me, but as often as not, my young son wandered down into the sanctuary where remodeling was an on-going thing and “helped” the men who were rebuilding the dais or putting Spackle on the walls or…  Levi was a favorite among the construction workers.

We lived in a dinky apartment off of 82nd Avenue, near the future junction of Johnson Creek Blvd and I-205. It was an in-between place for us and where we kept our dog hidden in the garage because we were not supposed to have a dog. The school was located nearby and Arwen’s 2nd grade teacher was a uncommunicative old woman that told me I was too nosy. Quite the opposite of Arwen’s Kindergarten teacher who told me, “You are the parent teachers will love or hate. You are involved in your child’s education, you know what is going on, and you ask questions. I love you. Others will hate you.”

Second Grade Teacher hated me.

It had been raining. Not real unusual for this part of the world.

Levi and I were early on our way to pick Arwen up from school. Early is not unusual for me. We needed to kill some time, so we drove around the neighborhood near her school. We came to a street that went down a steep hill and then climbed right back out. A sign warned: “High Water”. There was nothing at the bottom to give you a visual as to high the high water could be: a foot? or less? I knew a car could go through a foot of water, just drive careful (this was an Escort, OK?).

Um. Three feet of water. The engine died. The water began to seep in the doors. I attempted to restart the engine: nothing.

My son cried out (gleefully, the little devil), “Mommy, dey’s papers floating back here!”

I breathed in. Out. Prayed the sparkplugs were still dry. In with the clutch, turn the key. Engine powered up.

I eased off the clutch and we motored forward, out of the high water. I waved congenially at the people standing at the top of the hill as my car passed them, water dripping out the doors. It smelled like dead earthworms.

We picked Arwen up and drove home.

Yeah, I still can’t remember the conversation as I explained that scenario to my husband. We never did get rid of the dead earthworm smell in the car. But we knew one thing: Jaci can drive a stick shift through 3 feet of water…

(I really should write a book about that Escort – that was only one adventure it took…)

I do not usually plug a book on my blog. Yes, I have put out a plug for Elaine Aron’s The Highly Sensitive Person, and that was because I found myself in Elaine’s book. She set me free, more or less.

I met Amy on Facebook through mutual friends. I purchased and read her latest book out of curiosity and because the reviews were so great. What I did not know when I purchased it and while I read it, was that Amy was going through a valley: Christian bookstores are not picking up and marketing her newest book. They have picked up all of her earlier books (and with great enthusiasm), but they are largely ignoring Letters From the Closet.

I loved Amy’s book. It’s about a student and her mentor and their ten years of correspondence. She has a secret; he has a secret. There is John himself: a character who is tormented with depression (boy, I relate to that). John taunts, encourages, disparages – it’s a one-sided conversation because we do not have Amy’s letters to him. We have only Amy’s recollections and her reaction to his letters when she uncovers them from her closet. Letters from the Closet. her closet; his closet; their secrets unveiled.

I do not want to provide a spoiler – but what Christian could refuse a book about redemption and the journey to understanding through the eyes of a Christian? Ultimately, that is what the book leads us to as Amy relives the ten years of correspondence (sometimes with brutal honesty about her own flaws) and she comes to terms with the letters she hid in her closet for so many years. 

I no longer have the influence I used to have on a mega church book store. If I could still wield that influence, I would. I haven’t set foot inside my mega church in over a year, maybe two. It’s a long story. Considering that I am a disillusioned church goer, my plug for Amy’s book should carry some weight with it: I don’t read much in the way of Christian literature. I have a tendency to swing into Fantasy, Young Adult, and all things Barbara Kingsolver (like The Poisonwood Bible). I am currently working my way through Steppenwolf by Herman Hesse and am re-reading the complete Wizard of Oz by L. Frank Baum (I read all the books twice or more when I was in junior high).

Amy is a Christian writer who isn’t interested in converting me or selling me the latest fad prayer that will change my life. Letters From the Closet is much more than the title of a book where one of the lead characters just happens to be gay. It’s about love, forgiveness, redemption.

I had two dreams last night. One was an intense story between good and evil, with a heroine who tempted evil until it got so close she could smell the brimstone. I awakened from that dream, and felt the girl’s mind as she gained the wisdom that she did not wish to flirt any longer with that danger. And just as quickly, the danger dissipated and faded, unwilling to stay in my mind if I would not engage it. A warning from my subconscious, perhaps, or my subconscious rising to take back ground I’d ceded to evil.

I mention that only because in real life, I am struggling with some angry emotions. There’s an ugly side to my heart that I don’t want to look at, but in waking I am reminded just how ugly it can be. It is the dross rising to the surface of the refiner’s fire, needing to be scraped off so I can be a more pure – and joyful – person. I always find the process painful.

But that dream, because it did not linger, was not the visitation. When I drifted back to sleep, I hoped only that I would not reenter that world.

I did not expect to see my mother.

I do not dream of my mother very often. She was my best friend in my early adult years, the person I called with all the details of my life. Once a week we spoke on the telephone.  After I had children, we did not speak so often, but even my husband knew “that ring” when my mother called – and my mother knew when it was me calling her. The dreams I had of her after her death were dreams of someone I never knew in real life: she was angry, angry about everything and angry at me. I tried not to dream of her, because I didn’t understand the anger that was suddenly pitched in my direction.

It was not until my father died two years ago (and today is the anniversary of his birthday: he would have been 85 today) that the dreams where my mother appeared changed. She has not been angry since my father died.

But those are the dreams of the past. Last night’s dream (or this morning’s, as REM sleep often catches me just before the alarm sounds) took place in a big rambling house. I’d never been in this house before (in a dream or otherwise – often my dreams return to the same settings). It was my parent’s new house and I was visiting, home from college, I think. I was an adult, and adult-sized. I walked from the darkened living room area into the light kitchen.

It was an Alice-in-Wonderland over-sized kitchen. Even though I was an adult, I was dwarfed by the appliances, the counter-tops, my mother on a step-stool – even the step-stool seemed over-large. I was looking up at my mom from the eyes of a five-year old girl where she seemed larger-than-life.

In reality, my mom was smaller than me as an adult. She was 5’2″ in her prime, but slowly shrank. At one point, she had a 20″ waist and she still wore a girdle. This was the age she was in my dream: early thirties, her hair tinted a soft auburn, wearing capri pants. She was reaching up to the cabinets to put dishes away.

My mother was never tall enough for tall cupboards and so we never had them in the houses we lived in but what she had a step stool (I am the same way and I stand 5’4″). But these cupboards were much too tall for a reasonable kitchen, and yet she was there. putting things away in them.

I asked her if I could help do something. This was normal between us. I looked around and said I’d clean out the sink. But when I reached into the kitchen sink, I found the faucet had been broken off, and it was not dirty dishes in there, but my work clothes. My sister had taken them from me when I’d changed and promised she would “take care of them.” Now they were in a sink, splatter with tomato sauce. White pants and tomato sauce.

I was not angry. My sister stood in the kitchen now, a wee bit of a girl no more than ten years old. My sister is always ten in my dreams and my visions of her. But in real life, when she was ten, she was rapidly approaching my height. In real life, she surpassed me in height: she was 5’7″ or 5’9″ when she stopped growing, a rail-thin woman with a hunched back and a misguided sense of fashion. But in the dream, her age ten self was as short – a reverse of the Alice kitchen – as my mother was large.

My mother = larger than life, my sister = a mite of a thing.

I explained to my sister that white pants would stain with tomato sauce and they needed to be placed in cold water immediately to forestall the stains. My mother looked down and said, “Deni, show your sister where the washing machine is so she can wash her clothes.”

Because it was a home I was unfamiliar with, my sister had to show me where things were. As we walked through the kitchen to the other door (this kitchen was a hallway, much like one we had in our first home in Ely), my sister told me that “Mom and Dad have a new washer and dryer.”

I knew this (I’d been writing my folks) but it was nice to hear it from my sister. She continued that in order to work the washer right, “We have to fill the toilet with extra water.”

The toilet seemed to be in a manufactured home pre-1970’s, except it had a shut-off valve. Deni turned the valve and filled the tank and bowl with clean (for a toilet) water – I mean to the brim, filled – before turning the valve back. “Now we can use the washer.”

I thought it was quite odd.

The washer and dryer were huge and in-ground. Red enamel. The washer was made up of three different tanks – the one you put clothes in and the one you took clothes out of and one in between, right to left. And they, like the dream kitchen, vacillated between underground and too large as Deni showed me how to work them.

The room was at first like a shed: dirt floor, cob-webby shelves above the appliances. Then it slowly changed into the opening of a very large horse barn, like the kind you find at a county fair with rows upon rows of box stalls and wide aisles. I was not concerned about the room, only knew that it was there and changing. And that my mother walked past us, behind us, dressed in her jodhpurs and headed to the stalls to work out her horse.

My mother hated horses. Horses were an obsession I shared with my sister, and even my brother. But my mother categorically hated horses. Horses and domestic birds, like parrots. Creatures I love. She loved dogs.

Once my clothes were in the washer, I needed laundry soap, but there was none. I was looking for Tide™ (my parents never used any other brand of detergent because my father was allergic to everything else. So they said). Deni pointed out that there was a box of powder detergent that belonged to our “foster-sister” and I could use it. I hated to, because I knew Cyndi needed every dime she could save and the detergent was for washing diapers (apparently Cyndi put cloth diapers on her little girl, Tomi).

I don’t know why Cyndi and Tomi came into the dream at all. Deni was 17 when Tomi was born, not 10. And I doubt seriously that Cyndi did the Whole Earth Mama thing. That was me. I used cloth. I breast-fed on demand. I let my children wean on their own timing (one at 13 months and the other at a ghastly 8 months. That second child hauled a bottle !! around until he was four).

I climbed up on a step stool and retrieved the soap, dumped a measure of it in the washer (now oversize) and attempted to replace it. In doing so, I knocked over a cat food dish with kibble in it and some of the kibble spilled down into the washer before the top could be shut. Oh well, I said as I righted everything.

Deni seemed amused.

And then the dream was over.

 

Cyndi and Tomi are living. They never appeared in the dream, they were only mentioned. My dad was only mentioned. My sister and I rarely got along as well as we did in the dream. I’d have read her a riot act for spilling tomato sauce on my good white pants (if I had owned any). She idolized me; I tortured her. We loved each other fiercely.

My brother was away. We knew he existed but he was not part of the dream any more than my father was.

It was just us: Deni, Mom, Me. A vivid dream, the kind that doesn’t fade, even 12 hours later.

There are lessons in there, I just have to puzzle them out.