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The Zombie Dream

I have weird dreams all of the time. Some I remember. Most fade with waking. Some are prophetic. Some are healing. Some are warnings.

And some are plots from B movies.

This is a plot from a B movie.

I lived at home with my mom and dad. Only I wasn’t “me”, I was a character in a B-movie or a zombie novel. I was about 23 in the dream. We lived in a little house on a river in a rural location. But we were getting ready to move out and I was packing my car, which was eerily similar to the 2006 KIA Sportage I presently drive. My mom was also packing her car. We were getting ready to evacuate.

I don’t remember what Mom packed into her car, but I remember the details of everything that went into my car.

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I made sure that this brass ash tray made it into my car. I grew up with this ash tray.

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The cobras simply crawl over it.

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And up it.

I also packed cooking utensils, spatulas, miscellaneous silverware, and clothing. I remember emptying a drawer in the kitchen and putting it into my car along with the suitcases of clothing.

My mother and my little sister left about a half-hour ahead of us. My dad, my baby, and I left as soon as the car was loaded and the house locked up. The house was a light green colored house with a picket fence. We were not the only people who lived on that side of the highway as there was a joint road and intersection at the highway.

When I got there, we had to wait for two lumbering delivery van type vehicles. I pulled out behind them and we saw the road was littered with some sort of slime. Traffic was excruciatingly slow and the problem was revealed as some sort of giant snail-slug-alien thing that excreted a jellied slime of human remains. (I told you this was a dream, right?)

We didn’t want to drive over any of the excrement. I don’t know why, but it just seemed gross: jellied slime of human remains? Anyway, we hit a straight stretch and I called on the KIA’s great power for acceleration and we passed the two vans and the snail-alien-slime thing. We were worried about my mom & sister who were about 30 minutes ahead of us, and now we had been delayed even more by the snail-alien-slime thing.

We entered a winding stretch of road through a deep pine forest. Nighttime fell. My dad, who sat in the passenger seat and who wasn’t really my “dad” but who was a kinder, more benevolent sort of person, kept tending to the toddler in the car seat behind me. he handed her food, bottles, toys. He unbuckled his seat belt to change her diaper while we traveled. We had no option of stopping.

This section of woods was dark and depressing. It was known as the Zombie Woods because in recent times, zombies had taken over it. I could not stop or hesitate. We felt things land on the car and at some point, we realized there was a zombie clinging to the side of the car, by the baby, staring in at us and trying to distract us. I kept the windshield wipers going so they couldn’t land on the windshield and wreck the car.

Early morning found us on a sagebrush butte, coming in to a ranch compound that was gated off. We could see Mom’s car in the compound, so we knew they had made it safely. I came up to the gate, honking my horn. The zombies abandoned the car as we approached because the compound was zombie-free.

The gate raised and we were allowed in, but we had to be quarantined to ascertain we were not somehow zombie-ized. It was a very rustic place with log cabins, outdoor showers, eco-friendly out houses, and a main compound. Razor wire surrounded the place. A large barn was central to the place, with hay and grains and other storage.

Then the zombies attacked. We all headed to the barn and out the other side of the barn, where the zombies were concentrated. I thought we were in the defense & winning, but then my baby was out there in the sagebrush & I had to go rescue her. I got behind enemy lines somehow and had to fight my way back to the barn by throwing handfuls of gravel at the growling zombies. But I did it, with my baby in hand.

Then I climbed the stacks of hay in the loft of the barn and hid by a window that overlooked the yard of the compound. I couldn’t tell if we were winning or the zombies were until someone came into the barn and climbed into the loft to tell me it was OK and we were safe.

Woke up briefly and fell back asleep.

Dream resumed.

My sister-in-law, Debbie, and her husband, Don, came walking up from the far side of the compound. My dad was no longer in the dream, but my husband was. Deb and Don came into the compound and were quarantined. They told us (Don & I) how proud they were of us for having made the safe run to the compound and avoiding zombie infestation. However – they had discovered that it was OK to be half-zombieized and that maybe we (humans and zombies) could get along.

And I woke up for real at that point.

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A comment left on my previous post prompted me to hunt down some of my old, mysterious photos. MooreGenealogy is not only a great blog, but I discovered he is a wonderful resource for the beginning genealogist – and finishing those family trees is one of my two resolutions this year.

OK- three, if you count the resolve to avoid car accidents this year. I think two new bumpers on my poor, besieged KIA is enough!

I only found four of the many mystery photos and I found them only because I had an idea where they were presently stored. I really need to get a handle on the photos around here! So maybe I should add another resolution: fill those photo albums finally. We’ll see. One day at a time, you know?

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There is no photographer’s mark on this photo. I think she was a Cusick, but I can’t swear to it. I only know she came to me from my parents and the children are beautiful. It can’t be my father and his sister: the age spread is too wide and the baby is not fat enough. My dad was a fat baby. But the woman looks a little like my grandmother, Sylvia Cusick Wilcox. Same nose.

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Whoever she was, she was glamorous, poised, and very pretty. My biggest problem with these photos is not who they are, but how beautiful the photos are: the staging, the lighting, the pose. Whoever the photographers were, they were professionals at getting their subjects to look natural and to hold that pose. It wasn’t point-and-shoot, but was a very long, drawn-out process to take one photograph.

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I *love* this woman’s hair. She has that nose that is peculiar to both sides of my family: Melrose and Wilcox. She must be up the Wilcox line because the photo was taken in Chicago: Fordtran Studios, Blue Island, Chicage. Chicago Heights. Or she was a Kimmey. She could be a Kimmey.

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This photo. Great Grandmother Wilcox with her baby girl, Mary Elizabeth. Mary Elizabeth shared a birthday with me: November 2. This photo was taken on6/24/1907.

Mary Elizabeth died on 8/13/1907.

I can only imagine the anguish of the young parents. My grandfather was 9 years old when his only sibling died. He named his first-born child, a daughter, Mary Elizabeth, after his sister.

She was such a happy baby. She looks so much like a Wilcox (poor thing).

I assume the woman holding her was my Great Grandmother.

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I made no headway in de-cluttering. Seriously, I have a hard time parting with things. But I did a heck of a job cleaning & organizing. I just wish it didn’t wear me out so much.

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The loft is our library. I have never counted how many books we own and they’re only semi-organized into groups. There are more books downstairs and in my studio, and more in the boxes I packed at my father’s house in 2011 and left in storage.

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There are more books in the left-hand corner of the photo (out of sight). I tried to group things so when I do have the time and energy, and that television is gone, I can sit down with a copy of the Dewey Decimal System and organize the books. No, I am not going to number the shelves, nor am I going to try to catalog what we own.

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Yes, that is a cauldron full of rocks. No, I don’t know what I am going to do with those rocks. I hate to throw rocks out where the moss and mildew consume their natural beauty, know what I mean?

OK, so you don’t know what I mean. It’s just hard to part with rocks. I’ve pared it down to this bucket.

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These are rocks, too, but at some point in time, a human being formed, chiseled, and used these rocks until they wore down to fit the hand that wielded them: grinding stones of different sizes and shapes and one coup stick. I try not to think of the heads the coup stick was used on.

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Old pottery and insulators. We have a lot of old insulators. We do not have a lot of old pottery.

That bookcase seeds to be stripped and repainted. I’ve been hauling it around for more than 30 years, it has been painted 3 times and never stripped, and the paint is peeling. I tell you: I hate to part with anything practical, even if it is presently ugly.

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Pewter. The pewter lid in the bottom of the photo is actually a can opener for canned milk. On the flip side, there are two sharp points for indenting the can of milk. The ornate lid at the top is an anomaly. I wish I had the entire pewter set. That lid is ornate and beautiful.

The ice bucket has been in my family for years. A legend is attached to the bottom of it: “Jaci, I don’t know how old this ice bucket is. It was around when I was a kid, pre-WW2. Dad.”

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Ignore the horse. It’s a project. I need to get some galvanized tine & try to beat out new forelegs for it. I have one of the legs for a pattern. It is *not* an antique, anyway, but a replica. No, the treasure here is the trunk.

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The trunk came from Scotland in the early 1880’s when John Melrose immigrated to the United States of America. He had to sign papers that he would not take sides in the American Civil War. The Melroses are hard to trace because Phillip begat John who begat Phillip who begat John who begat Phillip who…

In Scotland, Phillip was born. He married and in 1826, John was born. John came to America. He married and in 1861, Phillip was born. Phillip married and in 1901, John was born. John was my grandfather and he had no sons, only daughters.

This trunk was my mother’s treasure and she passed it on to me, along with all of her genealogy work.

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I probably should take this down. It is hard to contemplate taking it down. The day is still raw in my memory. My son enlisted because of this day in history. This day in history is to my generation what December 7, 1941 was. The only difference between those days is that in 1941, the enemy not only declared himself, but took full credit. I’m not certain we will ever know who, exactly, was the enemy on 9/11/2001. But whoever the enemy was, a lot of heroes gave their lives on both dates. Some were soldiers and some were First Responders.

It may be awhile before I can take this down, fold it up, and retire it.

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From left to right: Arwen, with newborn Javan. Above: Sylvia Cusick Wilcox with her two children, Mary & Jack, and a beloved family pet. Sylvia died within a year of this photo due to complications from the streptococcal bacteria. My dad believed – and I do, too – that she died of flesh-eating bacteria, the same as my little sister. Necrotizing faciitis. She died in Salt Lake City in 1930 and there are no longer any records.

The dog in the last photo was someone’s beloved pup. I found the photo at a Goodwill store. He looks a little like my childhood pet, Butchey, but I think this dog is purebred Cocker Spaniel. He meant something to someone because they had his photo enlarged and framed, and probably hung it on their wall until they passed away and someone from the younger generation didn’t know who the dog was.

So I bought the picture and I hang it on my wall because it reminds me that every generation has had at least one beloved pet that was worthy of a framed photo on a wall.

(That’s a candle holder right above the dog. Goes in a mine, most likely. The long, sharp end is hammered into the wall & the sconce is at the top. I have it hanging sideways to how it would be used.)

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Godot approves of my new arrangement upstairs.

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Zith is thinking about it. She’s not sure about being relegated to the inside of an antique school desk…

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When the TV is moved out, I’ll be able to get better photos of the pump. It’s an old water pump for use with a large dredging system. It sat in the alley behind a girlfriend’s house for decades. When Don & I rented the house, we cleaned up the property. Don converted the pump into a Very Heavy Coffee Table. It takes two men to lift it and move it. That pump is all cast iron.

You wouldn’t believe the offers we’ve had on that monstrosity.

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The entry to my studio now looks pretty and clean.

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THIS is next weekend’s project: dealing with the clutter in the rest of the loft. I wasn’t up to this mess this weekend. This is going to require storage boxes and serious decluttering. Wish me luck.

(No animals were harmed in the collection of those antlers. They are all shed antlers).

The End. Or: The End until I bring the rest of the books home and I sit down and organize the books. That’s a scary thought.

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I spent today working on one of my New Year’s Resolutions: decluttering. Actually, it went more like rearranging, but I’m working on the casting off of stuff. Really.

I started in the loft. I figure if I can get this area under control, the rest of the house should be easy. I ignore the loft more than I do the rest of the house because I don’t have to live in the loft – I just walk through on my way to my studio or on my way to the stairs to return to the main level.

I am in no means ready to declare a victory.

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That’s only a partial view of what I have left to do. So many books, so few bookshelves. I put two books in the Yard Sale Pile. The boxed collection of Misty by Marguerite Henry (Okay, that’s four books right there) and The Casual Vacancy by J,K, Rowling. The former is simply too juvenile for my collection although I love Marguerite Henry (and I still may retrieve it). The latter is… well: did anyone like it? I never made it through the first chapter. Maybe I associate J.K. Rowling with the brilliance that is Harry Potter. This book isn’t that.

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The loft is a strange space with very little room. I fit a narrow set of crates here by the light switch. Ignore everything around the books: things may be moved in the future. My great-grandmother’s leather-bound collection of Classics sits on top in it’s own box – everything from Wadsworth to Shakespeare to Arabian Nights. This is all fiction.

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Many of my antique books are right here now, with a few antique or collectible items (all the crates are collectibles). That thermos? It’;s original and has never been broken. Serious. It has the glass lining.

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I haven’t added all the books to this corner – more fiction. Arwen’s autoharp that my dad gave her. My little sister bought it at some antique sale and gave it to my mother. My dad passed it on to my oldest. We tried to have it tuned when she first got it, but the Internet (as we know it now) did not exist and we couldn’t find anyone who knew anything about autoharps. Now, you can just google it and all sorts of hits come up. Some day, I hope my daughter will take it and learn how to tune and play it. It may be warped, however, and maybe will never hold a tune.

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My father asked me why I painted a white tail. I was offended. The photo I worked from was a big old Mule deer in rut. I can see why he made the remark: it was his way of giving me constructive criticism. I got carried away when I worked on the antlers. It doesn’t matter: I captured what I wanted to capture, and that was the lighting. I will never offer it for sale because of the words of my father. (Note: this photo is true to the color. The previous photo was taken without a flash and is not true to the color.)

010My father & his older sister. I created the frame with fir cones. My dad was probably 2 and his sister was a year older – the year his mother died.

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I’m not sure who this belonged to, but it was worn by some family member.

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The heart was created by my dear friend, Janie, when I was pregnant with my very first child. It’s so classic of her talent. Levi’s hand print in 1995 goes so well with the embroidered heart.

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This is the reason for this post. No, not the Lava Lamp (although that one is a classic). The trophy buck is the reason.

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Back up to the lamp. A friend had the lamp in his possession. It was 1960’s weird. I repainted the base to basic black (possibly ruining any collector’s value of an original 1960’s Lava Lamp that still works). It’s great. If I were to plug it in, it’s totally 1960’s Lava Lamp weird.

I just want you to know that.

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But that rack! It’s a black-tail. Four point, by western standards. 8-point by eastern. Symmetrical.

Donald and I had a special camping place that the U.S. Forest Service has since blocked the road to. No reason, just they had to block the spur road to this place. A lot of people would go there, camp, hike down to a little lake and fish. I have a name for the lake because the first time I visited it was from the bottom:

“Just a Quarter Mile Hike Lake” – yeah. Right. Straight up a freaking cliff. And when we got there, we discovered there was a spur road down to within a couple hundred yards of the lake.  Some day I will tall that tale.

In later years, we referred to the spot as “Mossy Rock” because there is a rock slide of ancient history that is covered in a deep carpet of soft mosses.

The whole area is deep ravines, pristine creeks, rock slides, boulders, small lakes filled with small trout and salamanders, and native plants all around. A lot of good memories.

One year when Don & I camped there, we were playing in the deep forest and boulders, down-fall, and moss. We came across a skeleton of a deer. It was intact, only a little disturbance by mice and rodents. The head is what we brought home: that perfect four-point black tail buck.

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We don’t know how he died. But his skull was our gift. He must have been beautiful.

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Brown Creeper

We had a new bird visit the feeder this year.

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No, it wasn’t the Townsend’s Warbler. I just like this picture so I threw it into the batch. Such a colorful little bird.

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The Brown Creeper came to town. I associate Brown Creepers with deep woods and thickets, not open areas and certainly not urban areas.

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My first introduction to this small wren-like bird was decades ago on an elk hunting trip. I remember how cold it was and how the kids snuggled deep into their sleeping bags long after the dog and I got up. My husband, of course, was already several hours into his hunt.

I sat in the cab of the pick-up truck and wrote in my journal or drew pictures while the kids snoozed. A Brown Creeper crawled up the tree right next to the driver’s door and I got to watch this beautiful bird up close.

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That one has graced my garden is a special blessing and bonus.

I walked out to get the mail the other morning and this little bird allowed me to come within two feet of it. So tiny, so vivid, so alive.

It has been here for two weeks now and I hope it stays. It’s a special treat to see such a glorious little bird.

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Speaking of birds: my oldest found these ravens at a craft fair in Alaska. Raven earrings! How very wonderful! ♥

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I only made two resolutions this year. I figure if I keep one, I’ve got a 50% success rate going.

#1 is to finish that family tree. I was working hard on it in 2010 and 2011, and then my dad passed away. I sort of lost heart. I know it was a season, however, and bought a filing cabinet just for the research he sent me and I set it up close to my desk so I could follow through when I did decide to pursue it again. I’m ready now.

That’s the thing with grief: don’t try to rush it. Let it take its course. You’ll never fully recover, and that is perfectly all right. Don’t measure yourself against other people’s standards.

#2 is to seriously declutter. WE have too many rocks, bottles, little antiques, dust bunnies, and other odds and ends. I cannot do too much about my husband’s clutter, but I sure as heck can control mine.

I think.

Because the Christmas tree is still up (and will remain up until this coming weekend), I can’t do too much yet. We live in a small house and the Christmas boxes need to be stored before the real decluttering can begin.

But – there’s always a ‘but’ – I can start in my studio. I rearranged furniture so things are more ergonomic and so there’s more floor space. I should have thought of this angle a long time ago. I can only show you one half of the room because it’s a work in progress.

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First up: the office space. Everything is close, but not too cluttered. Reminds me, I need to sit down and pay bills tomorrow evening.

The space where my desk is could be the closet space if we ever decided to finish this room and make the house into a legal two-bedroom home. My desk also sits on top of what was the original stair case. Before the house was remodeled and brought up to code, it probably had those steep, narrow steps to the upstairs and possibly two small bedrooms up here. The remodel took out that stair case and eliminated both upper bedrooms. This room is not a legal bedroom in Oregon because there’s no actual closet. It’s large enough for a king-sized bed, but… rules are rules, I guess. (It was Chrystal’s bedroom when she lived here and it doubles as the guest room, so there.)

I digress.

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This is what I really wanted to blog about. I have been storing junk in the display case. Today, I rearranged the sculpture supplies and put my precious items into the display case. I bought that sucker at a yard sale for $5. It does have lights inside of it, but there’s some great big spider lurking behind the rabbit on the left and I’m not sticking my hand behind the display case to plug the lights on. Not without rubber gloves, I’m not.

It’s probably not a Black Widow (we don’t have those here in the Willamette Valley – too wet – unless one smuggled in), but it could be a Brown Recluse and I’m not going there without rubber gloves. Whatever it is, it makes a helluva strong web fiber.

All my supplies are labeled and stored in the plastic units along the wall. Canes in the old family laundry basket in the corner. (Canes & laundry bin are part of my inheritance. Can you believe my family knew how much I loved that stupid laundry bin with the black-and-white contact paper that they made certain I left Nevada with it? Yep. I “see” things in the contact paper. Probably should blog about that sometime or go see a psychologist.)

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These really have nothing to do with decluttering. They *are* the clutter. I “rescued” the tennis rackets from my dad’s basement. The blue one was mine. I was never any good at tennis. My girlfriend, Lisa, and I used to go to the tennis courts and pretend to play tennis just to talk to guys. But I couldn’t bear to part with the rackets when I found them in Dad’s basement (one is my brother’s racket).

The figurines were on a shelf at Goodwill this summer. I couldn’t resist. I bought them for a couple bucks and then wondered what the heck am I gonna do with those?? Tonight, as I set up my photo shoot, I stumbled onto the answer. I’ll cut out some of the netting on the rackets and attach the two climbers to them. I think it’s going to be a great project.

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I have long wanted a china hutch to display my Trail of Painted Ponies statuettes. I’d have a lot more if my family could only remember that I collect them. (hint, hint).

The second shelf absorbed some of the items my mother collected (the boots, the vases) and a few things that have come my way.

I didn’t picture the bottom shelf, but it has many of the antique bottles we have collected over the years and the “furniture” I am collecting for faerie houses I plan to build “sometime”. In other words, more clutter, but clutter I can’t bring myself to let go of.

We all have clutter we can’t let go of.

 

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I searched through my 2013 posts, looking for the “Best of…” highlights and discovered that I never posted about one of our best life events. I have no explanation for the oversight!

My last post of 2013 will be a post I should have written in May.

My wonderful husband drove up to Puyallup, Washington early in the month of May. That, by the way, is a mouthful: Puyallup, Washington. But I digress. Don was meeting a man to look at a Volkswagen camper van. He took a friend who knows Volkswagens. This particular friend is the person who convinced Don that he could not continue to live without a vintage Volkswagen camper van parked in the driveway.

Parked is a key word.

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This is what came to be parked in our driveway for months. All through the summer, in fact, and into the fall, while Don waited for parts to be shipped from Germany.

It is a vintage 1971 camper van in need of a lot of love and labor.

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Looks clean, but it leaks oil. The tires and most of the braking system all had to be replaced. I’m a little fuzzy on everything he had to buy, because my brain does not retain mechanical facts like Marisa Tomei’s character in “My Cousin Vinny”.

I could never be that girl. My dad and my brother talked mechanics all the time. I’ve spent hours waiting in a garage for one or the other of them (mostly my brother). But terminology like Master Cylinder, Head Gasket, blown valve, lifter, clutch pad, and distributor cap are all foreign terms to me. I do best at sitting in the seat and obeying orders: “Okay, now, pump the brake five times!”

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That’s one funky 1970’s front seat and gear shift. For the record, I can drive a stick shift. And I do know what the choke does.

Those are my beloved’s knees.

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It came with a refrigerator which is the object sort of in the middle of the picture. It sits behind the front passenger seat and there was some issue with the drain.

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It has a table, a fold down bed, a closet, and storage space above. That’s my honey in the background.

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It came with the requisite Peace Sign in the window.

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This serves no purpose that I can see, but it made for a cool picture.

It runs now. Don takes it out to run errands. He has yet to take it camping because he got the parts he needed right before the bad weather hit. His goal is to have it ready to go next summer for some nearby camping trips.

Yes, I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking how you hate getting stuck behind a VW Van on a mountain pass. Yes, we will be those people.

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Admit it – a part of you is also really jealous that we have this.

P.S. Don will not let me paint it. I do not understand why.

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Joyeux Noel

Christmas is gone and all we have to deal with is the aftermath and presents that still have not arrived at their destinations. Presents are not a big deal: they are material and fleeting. We felt terrible for the Fed Ex employee who made a last-minute delivery at our house in the middle of the day on Christmas. Really, it could have waited one more day. Don knew it was coming and he was happy just knowing.

But thank you, anyway. And we hope you made it home in time to be with your family to enjoy the treasure of their company.

A coworker asked me today what I got for Christmas. I drew a blank. There were a lot of nice things, and I got exactly what I asked for (a squirrel feeder, not your average feminine gift if you believe all the jewelry commercials at Christmas. In fact, I once warned my husband that I’d kill him if he bought me anything with diamonds for a gift. I meant it. I have one diamond and it is on my ring finger. That’s all I care for).

So what DID I get for Christmas? A lot of Christmas cards from friends and family, some of whom I did not reciprocate (I’m sorry! I’ll do better next year!). The company of Chrystal & Brian (and we forgot to take that family photo!). Fen came over and was so happy to see his grandpeople. (He was also very happy with the kibble he got for Christmas. Dogs are so easy to please.)

We Skyped (that is a new verb, isn’t it?) with our son and his three little tornadoes. He has been separated from his kids for a few months due to the military and he grinned the entire time we were on Skype and his minions were running in circles, screaming, and showing off their favorite Christmas toys. Justin’s favorite gift this year was the one from us. I can’t honestly remember Micah’s: he showed us so many. Kori kissed the phone.

We Skyped with our oldest. Zephan was too busy playing with his Legos to spend much time talking to us. Javan’s favorite gift was the airplane we sent him. Eli was too busy showing us all his toys and everyone else’s (he’s the same age as Micah). Verity just wanted to taste the phone. Arwen laughed the entire time, shaking her head at her children’s antics.

Family. Isn’t that what it is all about? Don called all of his extended family. I still need to call my brother.

We got some cards this year that went over the top, into The Best Christmas Cards Ever category.

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The guilt-laced greeting from 5-year old Zephan. Ninjago is the set of Legos he wasked us to get him. He was more than pleased that he received a set (which was why he couldn’t Skype very long with us. Gotta build, build, build). He wrote his own name, bless his heart!

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Javan decorated both sides of the card he sent us. You can click on the image for a better view, but I’ll just tell you what his mother’s note is: “A big net”. That’s a big net over the Spongebob crew.

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He decorated the flip side with “mountains”.

Tell me my grandsons are not competitive. This is Eli’s card:

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“Spiderman’s web over Spongebob”

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“Lots of mountains by Eli”

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Our youngest has taken up art, again. She gave us an 8.5×11″ hand drawn card.

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Click on the image to read the note. I can’t write it out. It makes me all sniffy-nosed and teary eyed.

I love my kids. And by “my kids”, I include those who my children have chosen to spend their lives with.

It was a wonderful Christmas, made possible by Skype, the telephone, automobiles, and the U.S. Postal Service. We are so blessed to live in this day and age. It was *almost* like having them all here in our tiny little house.

Except we could say good-bye, turn the phone off, and the sugar-high elves were someone else’s problems. 1476352_10152134603217392_67138169_n

Korinne, shortly after we said good-bye to her. (photo by Levi)

I feel so blessed.

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Happy Holidays! God Jul!

I have been so blessed this Christmas between little gifts and cards at work, and Christmas cards in the mail, that it makes me feel almost ashamed to admit that I was pretty darn lame this year. I didn’t put as much thought into the gifts I gave at work and I sent fewer cards than usual (and those all went out on the 23rd, so will not arrive at their destinations until after Christmas). We didn’t buy any gifts for nieces or nephews, sisters or brothers, or parents. Of course, there’s a reason for this thrift: the last quarter of 2013 was rather expensive and we had to tap into our precious savings to cover those unexpected bills. We’re learning how to live in our new reality of one less paycheck per month now that Don is retired. We don’t use credit cards, so everything is cash.

No, I don’t really feel that guilty: what I really feel is BLESSED.

We’re so grateful for family that is still living, for family that has passed on, for “real life” friends, cyber friends, and co-workers! We feel incredibly blessed and touched by all those lives around us! Don’s family, my family, our family: we love all of you so very much!

If you know us personally and you didn’t get a card from us, we didn’t forget you. Life just got in the way.

Every time I turn around, I am reminded of someone. Tonight, I sat on the floor with Harvey and watched the lights on the tree. It reminded me of – no, it took me back to – a time when my mom and dad were still living and my little sister was my buddy. My grandparents came to life. A memory floated before me for that moment in the lights and I realized just how precious all those memories are.

Memories are our gift to you this year: all the times we’ve laughed together, cried together, prayed together (or prayed for each other), shared something on Facebook or in a letter or in a blog post – all those brief moments of connection, that’s our gift to each other.

Thank you for your gifts to us. Please accept our gift to you. It really isn’t as lame as I made it out to be, because it’s really about friendship and love, not the getting of presents or cards.

Merry Christmas and thank you for every moment!

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The conversation came up on an online support group I am a moderator for. One of the members was ruing her new-found singleness and the fact that her kids will be with their dad for Christmas – again. She mentioned that she didn’t feel like she was making any traditions with her children (although, from the list of things they do together leading up to the holiday, she’d be wrong). Many people replied and told her that she *was* making traditions, but one person wisely said: “just try removing one of the things you do”.

I have poured my heart into Christmas partly because I want my children to have traditions and to have the impetus to start their own traditions with their families as they leave the nest. I brought a lot of tradition into Christmas from my childhood, and my husband brought a lot into it from his childhood, too.

For instance, my family always hung stockings and that was the first item we got to go to on Christmas morning. Generally, we got a chocolate Santa, a tangerine, and a few little odds and ends. My husband’s family did not do stockings. Conversely, my family didn’t do a big spread of food on Christmas Day while his family traditionally had ham or turkey and a formal sit-down dinner. My family’s food tradition centered around oyster stew on Christmas Eve.

My family opened one present on Christmas Eve: the brand new pajamas that my mother had been sewing for us. We were always so thrilled to get new homemade jammies!

Once I was married, we merged stockings into “our” traditions, and the big sit-down meal. We shaved off the homemade pajamas (mostly because I don’t sew) and the one-present-on-Christmas-Eve tradition.

My family’s celebrations always centered around the Nativity. My husband’s family did not display one. Both families embraced Santa Claus.

But there’s that darn oyster stew. My mom would spend hours preparing it from some old family recipe. Steamed mild and green floating pieces of meat (the oysters). The only redeeming feature of this Christmas Eve feast was the little round oyster crackers. We three kids would put as many of those into our bowl of steamed milk and floaty green meat in the hopes that the crackers would absorb the taste. My dad would get mad at us for putting too many crackers into the stew. My mom would frown at us when we refused seconds.

I left for college in 1974. My brother was already on his own. Only my sister remained at home. I remember that first Christmas Eve back home.My parents ordered pizza. PIZZA!??Terry and I were dumbfounded. Where was the oyster stew? We’d dreamed of oyster stew. We expected oyster stew. It’s not Christmas Eve without oyster stew: steamed mild and green floaty meat punctuated with as many oyster crackers as possible. You can’t have Christmas without the stew!

Our parents were flummoxed. “You hate oyster stew. You always complain about oyster stew. You have never liked oyster stew.”

“But it’s TRADITION!”

They never did reinstate the tradition of oyster stew.

I still miss oyster stew on Christmas Eve. It is the only time I miss oyster stew.

 

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