Jaci Dawn

I need to ask you again: are you OK?

Today has been a stressful day in so many ways.

The obvious stressor is that it has been 50 years since the Kent State Massacre. I was 12. I fully understood that our National Guardsmen had opened fire on a peaceful anti-war protest on the campus of Kent State University in Ohio. My parents did not join the chorus of conservative voices shouting, “Those Commie kids deserved it!”. They were thoughtful, quiet. What did it mean when our own military opens fire on our own youth?

I still believe it was a tragic comedy unfolding: young National Guardsmen scarcely older than the students at the University. A frightened soldier pulls a trigger. Chaos ensues. Collateral damage includes students and bystanders not involved in the sit-in. Four young people die. The tragedy is seared into our consciousness and Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young commemorate it for eternity: “Four dead in Ohio…”

Nixon was a terrible president.

Novel Coronavirus still hangs over our heads, but we are more divided now than ever. We should be more united. There is so much disinformation out there, on the airwaves and the cables and the WiFi, that you can pick your own truth and support it with references. We’re starting to hate each other and fear each other.

You say: “We need ‘herd immunity'” You think that means that we just let the virus run its course as we live our lives normally, no masks and no quarantine.

I hear: “The weak, the vulnerable, the imunocompromised, the aged, the handicapped – all these are people you are willing to sacrifice to the god of – what? your ‘freedom’?”

You say: “If you feel threatened, just stay home while the rest of us go about business as usual.”

I hear: “So what if your twelve year old grandson wants to go to visit his friends? He’s got underlying health issues, so he can sacrifice his childhood while the rest of us go out and play on swings or ride bikes in the skate park. He can just stay home.”

Words carry so much power. Words create so many images.

I say: “Trust science.”

You hear: “She’s swallowed the Kool-aid and is willing to give up her rights for the sake of ‘safety’ when noone can guarantee safety.”

I say: “There will be a second wave come the end of summer.”

You hear: “She lives in fear. She’s a sheep. She is a follower.”

I say: “Just wear a mask.”

You hear: “She thinks a mask will protect her from the virus. It won’t”

And you’d be right in this case: I don’t wear a mask in public to protect myself from anything. I wear it just in case I am an asymptomatic carrier of the virus. I don’t want to spread this thing.

Have you noticed, no one has suggested coming for our guns during this pandemic? Maybe they have, I haven’t seen any memes to that effect – and memes tell the whole truth, don’t they?

By the by, I researched “herd immunity”. It doesn’t mean what you think it means or what I think it means. Herd immunity (in humans) is reached when there is a viable vaccine and enough people are vaccinated against the virus to not only slow its progress, but to possibly stop it in its tracks. We don’t have herd immunity with the Influenza virus because it continues to morph every year and last year’s vaccine is useless against this year’s strain. Still, we slow down the virus because a certain number of people get the vaccine every year.

We aren’t even close to a vaccine for COVID-19.

On a side note: I am not fully convinced of the viability of vaccines. I’ve never had a flu shot. I never had the MMR shots (because I had both the common measles and Rubella as a child – it wasn’t pleasant). I’ve never been exposed to the Mumps. I had a severe case of Chicken Pox as a child. It was miserable.

Chicken Pox is the only one of those common childhood diseases that has an everlasting effect on the body: you can develop shingles as an adult.

I did have the Polio vaccine. There are scars on my left arm. When I was a child, polio was still common enough to cause serious concern. One of my heroines, Wild Horse Annie (Velma Johnston) came out of polio permanently disfigured. She was one of the lucky ones.

Yes, people survive COVID-19. Some come out of it barely scathed. Others come out like Velma Johnston did: disfigured, missing limbs. And others have permanent damage to internal organs: lungs, kidneys, livers. Their lives will never be the same.

Open the economy. Go for it. You are right: I will stay home for the most part. I will continue to wear a mask. I will defy you in public when you try to shame me for wearing a mask. I will avoid travel (as much as I desire to see even one of my very precious ten grandchildren).

I have no answers. I just want the hate to stop. I want you to honor my decisions to stay home, stay isolated as much as possible. You want to go out, I’ll try to honor that. You want to hug, fine – just don’t hug me. Let’s just please stop with the warring, finger-pointing, and shaming.

I’ll start with me. I’m sorry if I made you feel I was pointing my finger at you. I probably was, and I regret that. I’d like to remain friends, but we obviously can’t discuss this right now. I pray you and yours are safe and none of this comes close to home. Heck, I even hope you are right.

I just doubt it. (I know, I know – the last word. But I wrote this and you can respond – and by responding, have the last word. I grant you that).