If you have been paying close attention, you will have noticed that my recent blog posts have something in common with each other. From rainbows to a duck I named “Hope” and on back to finding magic in everything about us, I have been setting down a ground work. From this foundation, I hope to build upward.
I have been dealing with a health situation that has made me think about mortality. No, I am not going to die. I probably just have some very large kidney stone stuck in my kidney. Don’t worry: I am not in any pain. But the events that brought me to this point have had me thinking seriously about the “what if’s”.
So seriously that I decided to draft a list of “rules” in the event I ever have to face down some life-threatening demon. Here’s what I came up with:
1. you have to keep me laughing.
2. you have to laugh at least once a day.
3. you cannot scream “OMIGOD” or say “I am sorry”. Not allowed.
4. you have to be upbeat and positive.
5. you have to believe in magic.
6. stop and smell the roses.
7. you need to understand I have faith in something much greater than this, and put up with it. I promise not to be preachy in return.
8. make a bucket list, even if it is just something like “tour the Pittock Mansion before I die” or “ride the elevator in Oregon City for the heck of it”.
9. never lie to your kids, even if it is hard to tell them the truth.
10. admit you’re wrong when you are wrong.
11. do not be afraid to ask for help. (I put this on my list because of what my friend, Ellen, did when she was dying of Stage IV Ovarian Cancer: she made a list of things people could do to help her and let people pick a date/time when they wanted to fulfill that need. Specifically, she let her friends buy her dinner the night before chemo. It was a wonderful way to be connected to her throughout the whole five months that she fought death.)
Can you think of any more? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I would especially love to hear from those of you who have had to stare down a life-threatening demon (like breast cancer): what was the one thing you wish people would have said or not said when you were going through it? Be tough and be honest.
Jaci Dawn 
I stopped and smelled the roses the other day, and poked my nose on a rose thorn. DOH………
I LOVE you!
hahaha Terry!!
Mary – I think that is a great idea: ground rules for taking care of the CareGiver. Especially good if they are not someone who can or will ask for help.
And I agree: plan for the future. Set goals to accomplish.
Cindy – thank you! Maybe I should put “own a mule” on my bucket list?? 😉
When Sandi was going through the tragedy of Brett’s Brain Tumor I noticed that everyone pitched in at the beginning. but when the disease went on for a year she was left alone to handle a lot by herself at the end. Part was because she was not outspoken enough to ask for help. I think there needs to be a set of rules for the caregiver as well. When the one that is ill, can’t speak up.
One rule: Make future plans. Don’t think everything has to be done NOW. Even if the future plan is not fulfilled, it is still good to look to the future and enjoy the anticipation of something good!
I think it is a great list.
Just don’t treat us any different when we are BALD!!!! The same person is still in there….
That is a great one, Julie! I wasn’t around much when you were going through chemo, but my friend Ellen had a “hat party” – everyone who came had to bring her a cool hat. there were some totally outrageous hats & some really nice comfy ones. That was how Ellen dealt with the bald issue.
[…] in doubt, fall back on the Ground Rules. Only post funny comments, please. I won’t be offended if you don’t take me […]
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