Posts Tagged ‘before and after’

The Hammer

You’ve heard the song, “If I had a hammer/I’d hammer in the morning.” Well, it’s about social justice, not an actual hammer. And it would be pretty obnoxious to go around hammering in the morning, noon time, and evening, although some contractors seem hell bent on doing so. Someone would probably want to hammer your head in, if you did that: hammered all the time.

I didn’t own a hammer when I first moved out on my own. I had platform heels. Yes, those infernal torture devices that pinch your toes, raise your heels and throw your back out, and – eventually – cause bad posture, bad backs, bunions, and (ironically) hammer toes. I could even walk in my platforms, which is more that some women can say.

I owned several pairs of pumps and platforms, and there was never a real need to go out and buy a hammer: I’d just grab the toe of a handy shoe, and aim the heel at the nail. Worked pretty darn well, for all the hammering I needed to get done in those days: a 12-penny nail to hang a painting on a wall without a stud. No damage to the shoe. Heck, I even used a butter knife for a flat-head screw driver and I avoided Phillips screws like the plague.

Times change, and so do feet and trendy styles. Flats are in. Those cute shoes I wore throughout the first 35 years of my life took a toll on my feet: I developed bunions. I tossed the last of the platforms and pumps, kept a couple pairs of wedges (which aren’t nearly as good as hammers), and gave in to wearing flats and boots. I fought for, and won, a toolkit complete with a hammer and screwdrivers, at a Christmas gift exchange.

The benefit of the hammer is really the fact that it has a claw. Misplace a nail or hammer it in crooked and need to retry? Use the claw to pull it back out. Heels double as shoes to wear with that little black dress (if you can fit into one; I can’t), but hammers double as nail removers. Both heels and hammers work as self-protection, aimed at the right part of someone’s head, although hammers do have the advantage of being heavier on the peen end.

I doubt I will ever hammer out justice with my hammer (or even a nice pair of stilettos). But I can hammer in nails, hang up photos of grandchildren, pull out nails poorly placed, and I don’t exacerbate my bunions in the process. That’s what I call a win-win.


(stock photo)



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