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Today was the day.

There were hugs and more hugs.

Eliran wore his bear jammies, Guess he was getting in the mood for Alaska.

Javan spent some time saying good-bye to the zebra toy. Grandma brought the zebra back to her house where she’ll have to find a box to ship it to Alaska. It didn’t make the cut for what fit into the trailer.

Bob didn’t make the cut, either. Zephan was quite upset that Bob wasn’t going to Alaska with him. Bob was his first birthday present from Poppa. We promised we would find a way to ship Bob north.

Until then, Bob is sitting in the loft and making Grandma sad.

Best friends!

Carson (same age as Javan) came to say good-bye to his friends.

I didn’t take a photo of the Expedition and the trailer. By the time we got to that point in our good-byes, I was an emotional mess. I’m very excited to see the kids off on their Adventure (in an Expedition, no less!) but it sure was hard to say good-bye.

I won’t be posting grandson photos nearly as often.

But there is good news on the horizon: in less than two months, my first granddaughter will be here.

And we are planning on a drive to Colorado to see her this summer.

Just one question: why did my kids decide to live so far apart? Alaska isn’t on the way to Colorado.

I asked Zephan about the drive to Alaska. He said it was going to take five days and he was ready to sit in his car seat for five days. He’s very brave.

I’m not so sure his brothers share his enthusiasm. In fact, right about now, I bet he thinks five days is five days too much.

Drive careful, Guys! And call when you get to Homer!

Love, Grandma.

Five Years!

Yesterday was the fifth anniversary of this blog.

I started out with a theme in mind: I was going to write about our adventures camping and hiking in the Pacific Northwest (especially the high desert region) and I was going to blog about gardening.

Five years ago I was not a grandmother. I still had hopes of owning yet another cat (or being owned by). Owning my own dog was not on my radar.

A lot of things have changed in five years.

The last child to turn 18 moved out. The oldest child moved back in, with her family in tow. She moved back out again. Five beautiful grandsons were born.

We adopted Murphy and all dreams of having a cat live here (in the near future) were dashed.

I adopted Harvey.

My garden is a disaster.

I haven’t been camping in over a year.

My blog posts have evolved with my life and with the seasons of my life.

I have embraced some of the changes and resisted more than a few.

I don’t know how to summarize five years of blogging or five years of changes. It is what it is: a life that is fluid and ever-changing, growing in some areas and shrinking in others, a tide that ebbs and flows, and seasons that flux.

Where this blog goes in the next year or five years is a guess I cannot hazard to make. Who I will be or where I will be – those are changes that are yet to come.

When I was in my senior year of high school, I had a young English teacher who requested we all write an essay about what we wanted to be when we grew up and settled down. I wrote that I wanted to be constantly changing and growing. She told me I was unrealistic and idealistic; that life is about settling down and becoming static.

I told her that I hoped I never became static.

There are days when I wish I had never said that.

That was 38 years ago. I have settled down, but no matter how settled I have become, I have never managed to avoid constant change. Life just is not static. Life is about continued growth and change. We are propelled through this life on the wings of change and if we don’t change, we become too rigid and we break.

I will continue to write about my garden.

When we go camping, I will continue to write about it.

Harvey will continue to be a regular feature as he helps me face the challenges in my life.

There are more grandchildren to come. OK, only one at the moment and she is not a boy. My daughter-in-law is in the “final stretch” with this pregnancy.

You may see more posts about birds, faeries, artwork, and antiques. Certainly I will post something about books.

And I am certain to find more things to post about cryptozoology. Notice I said “certain”. Some things don’t change and my interest in cryptids is one of those things.

Stay tuned.

It was a very lovely day today: the sun came out, it warmed up more than was predicted, my girls came over and had dinner with us, and I got to talk to my son on the phone.

Oh, and those little people called grandsons invaded my house.

They hunted for Easter Eggs in the front yard.

No one could find the egg that Sam hid in the bird feeder. Wonder why?

They pulled out every toy in the toy box and acted like they had never seen the toys before.

And then we moved outside because it was just so incredibly nice outside. And the toys that are stored in the garage had to come out: the little plastic shovel/rake/hoe sets and the bucket and the plastic wheel barrows.

My flower beds were attacked with vigor and the hazelnut mulch was carefully rearranged. Javan moved the most mulch. Zephan raked it back into the flower beds for me.

Eli did some sort of exotic dance with the net bag the outside toys go in.

Chrystal and her friend brought us chocolate cheese cake that was “to die for”. I made them take the left overs because I am already fifteen pounds overweight.

Chrystal and her friend took Harvey for a walk. Harvey thought that was the Best Easter Present Ever. Chrystal said she was impressed at how obedient he is on the lease. That’s one heck of a compliment from Chrystal.

Everyone complained about the biscuits. Seriously? I made Pillsbury “Grands”. Apparently everyone thought I was going to break out the sourdough starter and make real rolls. I didn’t even make real mashed potatoes. Or homemade gravy. Even the salad came out of a bag.

I wanted to enjoy my Easter with my grandboys before they move to Alaska. If I had been a little smarter, I would have served Easter dinner on paper plates. But I didn’t think that through and I ended up loading the dishwasher after everyone left.

At least I have a dishwasher.

Keeping everything simple meant I had more time to enjoy THIS. Just look at that! Oh-my-goodness! That is just about the most adorable snot-nosed kid on the face of the planet.

What can I say? I am a Most Blessed Grandmother.

Signs of Spring!

Spring is big news here. The rest of the Nation has been having a “warmer than usual” Spring, but we have not. It’s been wetter than usual (not that I can tell: it’s always wet in the Spring time here), but it has not been particularly warm. We had snow mixed in with the rain on Thursday morning of last week.

But today dawned clear and sunny.

It also dawned cold: Portland set a new record for cold this morning: 31 degrees F. When I left the house to take Harvey to the dog park, I saw where my husband had scraped ice off of his windshield.

Today was Harvey’s second trip to the dog park. I’m getting braver about it. He was very responsive to me and kept coming back to check in. The only time I was concerned about him was when someone brought in a very shy, submissive dog and that dog rolled over onto her back while five big, bolder dogs converged on her. I called Harvey back to give that poor dog some room.

My rubber boots sprouted holes in them, so we had to go to Wilco Farm Store to get new ones. I would have stopped at BiMart, but in the weird wisdom of department stores, they have already put away their stock of rubber boots. Here, in the Pacific Northwest, where Spring = MUD, you cannot purchase rubber boots in the Spring time. Those are considered “winter wear” and are put away when the bathing suits are put out on display. Only feed and farm stores carry rubber boots year round (because feed and farm people understand MUCK).

Once again, Harvey was the hit of the store. Every child inside the store had to stop and pet him (they all asked permission first). Harvey adores children and I am sure he was just thrilled with the three little preteen girls who loved on him.

No pics, sorry. I am not yet brave enough to try to carry a camera AND the remote to Harvey’s shock collar AND try to control Harvey on a leash. Eventually, that will come.

I hope.

The boy and I came home and he hung out in the back yard while I cleaned house. TIED UP in the back yard. Harvey is on restrictions because one of the signs of Spring is Spring Fever. And for Harvey, that translates into: “How to dig my way out of the yard…”

My husband was livid when he caught the dog. Harvey was halfway under the fence. Probably the only reason he had not escaped is he is currently grossly overweight.

So until I can get more chicken wire and barriers to digging put up, Harvey is relegated to being tied up unless we are outside with him.

“I’m sorry, Mom. I really won’t dig anymore. Um, my toes aren’t crossed, either…”

It was nearly one or 1:30 before I got the first load of laundry finished, but that sun was shining and there was a brisk east breeze and…

It has to be one of the first signs of true Spring: a clothesline!

I love clotheslines.

Last year, my sister-in-law stopped by. She had her son and his girlfriend in tow. The girlfriend looked at the clothesline and asked, “What is that thing?

My nephew dead-panned: “You did not just ask that question.”

She did. She’d never seen one before. How sad is that?

Here’s a sign of Spring: the Camellia is in bloom. It’s the only time of year I like the Camellia. And it only lasts until those lovely pink blooms fade and fall onto the ground and turn into brown mush. I hate the Camellia.

The Camellia is probably going to get cut down this summer. The last few winters have been cruel to it and the extended branches are compromised.

I won’t miss it, except in the Spring.

The wild violets are blooming. My mother’s favorite flowers from her childhood were wild violets.

Her second favorite flower was the wild yellow rose that grows in the high desert of the Great Basin.

Another smiley face of purple.

I purchased this vase at a charity auction a few years ago. I have no idea what the name of the art work is, but I call it “Fish Woman”. It only gets used in the early Spring, when the flowers are short. It’s a strange design for a vase. I use it as a bud vase. Bud vases are hard to find: most people think of cut flowers as having long stems.

Fish Woman is holding the purple hyacinth, Creeping Myrtle (Periwinkle), Violets, and the Anenome. It has to be an Anenome because that is what I planted where it grows.

Oh, and there’s Forget-me-nots in there, too.

I love Forget-me-nots. Mine came from some flyer a realtor left on my door knob several years ago. If only she knew that I worked for a real estate company and I would toss her card in the trash and forget who she was. But i planted the flowers.

And, yes, I know they “grow like weeds”. And the seed pods get stuck in Harvey’s fur. But they are pretty flowers when they are blooming.

I reserve the right to call them stupid flowers in the summer, when I am brushing the sticky pods out of Harvey’s fur.

Last sign of spring: we saw a big old bumblebee today.

My brother and his daughter were in town on Thursday and Friday. Kim wanted to come up and see her cousin before she moves away to Alaska. Kim’s children had never met Arwen’s children. The cousins (Kim and Arwen) have been pregnant “together” twice, so the little second cousins are all very close in age.

I took my camera. Of course.

McDonald’s play areas are not the most conducive places for photography but I think I got some good shots.

Eliran in the little slide.

Every time Zephan came down the big slide, this was his expression.

Elijah and Brooke being silly.

Yes, Kim has an “Eli” and Arwen has an “Eli”. That was unplanned.

It was nice that the girls (er, young women!) got to get together for a brief time before Arwen moves. Chrystal came and joined the fun, but I did not get a photo of the three first cousins. That’s too bad, too – all three girls are tied together by their love and respect for Kim. Kim is the sweetest person on the face of the earth. She is possibly the most thoughtful person.

I adore my brother’s daughter.

Wait – I didn’t get any good photos of Javan! Well, I did get some photos of him, but none of them were all that great. But I did get a video of him.

It’s full of Javanisms. I wish I could tell you what Brooke was saying to him, but I couldn’t hear her over the noise. What he was saying to her was, “Were gots our socks on.” and “Were gots our shoes off.”

“Yeah.”

It was too short of a visit. I hated to see them turn around and leave on Friday afternoon, but I am so thankful they came to visit.

And, yes. Javan picked his nose. Aren’t kids just great?

Adjustment Period

The office is moved. We had movers come in on Friday and move us, Saturday the IT guys came in and set up all of our computers and printers, and Monday we waded into the war zone. Furniture was in the wrong place, printers were hooked up to the wrong computers, items were lost in transition. It was stressful.

I came home and took a long nap. Then I pulled out my pastels and sketched a little. And then I went to bed.

Today was the first real full work day for me. Other people spent the day hanging pictures and personalizing their space. I haven’t had time to do that and I’m not certain yet what I can fit into the tiny space allotted me. Right now, my little fountain (that has graced my desk for many years) is still in a paper bag awaiting a decision on its destination. Right now – unless I can fit a small book case into my office space – I have no room for my fountain.

My co-worker and roommate managed to get her artwork up in place. Anything I bring in will clash. We’ll just have to agree to have separate and very diverse tastes in art. I like the idea of a room that harmonizes but we’re going to have to throw Feng Shui out the window. She likes art work that is loud and in your face and very extroverted. I like a more muted style. Something quiet and peaceful.

Speaking of quiet and peaceful, the new parking lot is… sadly lacking. No ponds to look at, no wandering geese, no established trees and landscaping. The view to the north of us is of the parking garage at Providence St. Vincent’s Hospital. Nice. There’s no view east or west: an ugly hedge to the east but you cannot park there. An empty lot to the west, full of construction discards and maybe a couple small fir trees.

This is the view to the south:

That’s the Sunset Highway (U.S. Highway 26 to the Oregon Coast). Between that fence and the concrete barrier lie the tracks to Portland’s Light Rail line, MAX.

I tried to get a photo of MAX. It comes by every ten to fifteen minutes.

It comes by at a pretty good clip and I didn’t think to pan. My camera decided to focus on the rain on the windshield instead. I kind of like the effect and may have to try several more MAX train photos like this.

And, yes, that is how close the MAX line is to the parking lot.

It was raining hard. I tried to get a photo of the paltry landscaping attempt. Apparently, there are roses planted all along the chain link fence. There are some skinny, young trees, too. All added as an afterthought.

Well, MAYBE we will have roses to look at when the weather gets better. But probably not if other people park like this guy did.

<sigh>

So I came home and I got out the pastels again.

I used to be better with pastels, back in high school. (The photo is mine – one of my many Band-Tailed Pigeon visitors to the bird feeder).

Maybe the plus side to the move is I am coming home and playing with art…?

 

Changes Coming Through

Despite my best attempts to pretend it is not happening, my desk is almost completely packed and the office looks like the aftermath of Gremlins. The walls show little black imprints where art and motivational posters were hanging (wonder why we all had a hard time breathing when the heater came on? Gee, look at that black stuff on the wall). The classroom is littered with the discards from other people’s desks. My car is filled with the discards from other people’s desks.

Not really, but I have picked up a few items.

The vultures are circling.

I went into Greg’s office and put my name on his desk. He hadn’t even packed his stuff yet. Sorry Greg. But it is a nice desk.

Nerves are frayed. There have been several times this week when someone snapped at someone over something unrelated, and sometimes it didn’t happen at work but happened in the personal arena. Some of us have cried. We cry, not because we are sad, but crying releases stress.

I remember a pastor’s wife who berated us as a congregation for crying. I wanted to slap her then and I want to slap her now. Crying releases stress. Crying to release stress is different from crying to manipulate. It is Okay to cry to release stress.

We made a trial run out to the “new” office, to see where our desks would go and to measure our new offices. We are going from cubicles to private offices, which may or may not be a step up. I think that depends on who your roomie is and your ability to work with them in the same room.

My new office is narrow and deep. My desk will be by the door because I will have a printer on my desk that others use and they will need easy access to the printer. My roomie will be in the back. Her only worry was that I was going to make her sit with her back to the door. I promised her that I envisioned her facing the door. I would be claustrophobic with my back to the door, why would I do that to her?

We had to make schematics to help the movers place furniture. Being the artistic type, I came home and photo-copied some graph paper. I have a binder of graph paper masters. I picked one that I could make 6″ to a square, thus being relatively accurate. Our office is going to be cramped.

It’s a good sign when your roomie says, “Oh, you used graph paper! I would have totally used graph paper!”

I am nervous. There’s no place to hide when I take my lunch: no cute diner within walking distance or Starbucks on the corner. (What!? No Starbucks within walking distance? Are we still in Portland? How can that be?) The office kitchen is a dismal set-up with scarcely enough room for a microwave, coffee machine and a counter. I will need my car to hide in during my lunch to decompress.

There are no walking paths. No pretty ponds with ducks and geese. The view is of US 26 (The Sunset Highway) and MAX tracks. The trees are young and there’s no shade. The pretty business park we have been located in is giving way to an industrial park. <sigh> This is something God will have to explain to me some day: why He keeps moving me further into the urban world when my heart is in nature.

I have scoped out the commute and there’s only one route that works for me. But I know what lanes to be in and when. I won’t know what the time commitment is until I drive it a few times, but I do know that compared to public transportation, it will be faster to drive myself. I am hoping that it doesn’t become too onerous to drive. My husband already knows he will be cooking dinner every work night. He’s a better cook, anyway.

In the midst of it all, we have found ways to make ourselves laugh. We’ve tossed out jokes. One liners. Lifelines.

There’s a stairwell in the new building, three flights. I am grossly out of shape. A stairwell is a great place to go work out frustration and build up the strength in ones’ legs. I didn’t scope out the stairwell, but I have a friend who is willing to be my accountability partner on the stairs. Up-up-up, down-down-down. Repeat. Feel the burn.

There are new people to meet. We’re sharing space with a branch office and I have to opportunity to meet some real estate agents I have not yet met (but I am certain I have cut commission checks for). There’s the potential to make friends with people who work in the other businesses in the same building. I met my dear friend over at nana’sneedlenook in a very similar building where she worked and I worked, but in different businesses.

There are old friends to meet. Several of my very dear and very old acquaintances live over in the area where I will now be working. I have lost track of them for the most part, keeping in touch only through social media (such a new tool!), but now we will be able to get together and reconnect in real life. I foresee lunch dates.

One of those dear friends is going through chemo for breast cancer. The hospital she goes to is right across the street. I have the opportunity to be more than a cheering section on Facebook: I can be a real, live support person. I am looking forward to being able to do that.

It’s 21 miles from my home at a time when gas prices are rising. I am not looking forward to that.

When I weigh the positives and negatives, they seem to balance out. It’s no more negative than positive at this point in the move. And maybe the fact that I finally have a job I really like tips the scale in the direction of more positive. I’m trying to be optimistic.

While I go through these changes, I am thinking of another blogger friend of mine who is going through some huge job changes, too. She hasn’t blogged about them, so I don’t feel right in sharing them, but she has a great blog if you love horses. Er, mules. (Sorry, Louie – mules!) You can check her blog out at Louie, the Little Brown Mule.

One thing is for certain: change is what binds us together. Anyone else going through it right now who wants to share?

Going slowly nuts… love, me

The move at work is going along. I really cannot even talk about it now. I need to focus on happy events and less- stressful thoughts. I’m not certain I would call it “Be Positive”, but since I know I am not really avoiding the thought of everything that is happening (believe me, my brain will wake me up at 3:00AM, racing with thoughts of what needs to be done or what might possibly happen in the future), I cannot call this avoidance.

I’m thinking Happy Thoughts.

OK, maybe not. But admit it, it was a nice try.

So. (My oldest begins every story with that word: “So.”)

So. It’s Saturday. Don is off snow-shoeing but I do not feel up to it. I have a dozen physical pains and aches and the thought of trying to snow-shoe left me in a puddle of anxiety. So he went with Murphy and promised to call me when he came back down off the mountain. He’s a good man, Don.

The day warmed up early and Harvey had Spring Fever. I debated taking him up to the dog park again, but I had too many errands to run (including the new one that Don left on a note by the microwave: dog food). Great: one more stop.

But I was feeling OK physically, so I hooked the leash on to Harvey’s collar. He outdid any dance a littler dog might do: he gets positively ecstatic at the thought of a walk and dances in circles, barks, wags his tail and tugs on the lead. I packed the little plastic poop bags, my ID, the house keys, and some tissue. We exited the yard and he stopped at the car.

Harvey hates to ride in the car. He must remember the dog park.

It didn’t take much to coax him past the car, in fact I had to discipline him a few times before we reached the first stop sign, but after that he was a perfect gentleman on the leash. And when we returned home, he again stopped by the car, hopeful.

So I put him in the back seat.

And I took him shopping with me. He had to sit in the car while I got groceries, but he only barked when I left him and when I returned to load groceries. He was a hit at the gas station: the young woman pumping gas tried to feed him a biscuit. His mind was on escaping, but I promised we’d save the biscuit for later. I think she just liked him because he’s not territorial about the car like some dogs are.

He’s not territorial about anything.

My second stop was Wilco Farm Store for the dog food. I remembered, as I pulled into the parking lot, that dogs are allowed in the store on their leash. I know, I am so brilliant. It boggles my mind, too.

So I took Harvey in to the store (allowing the tiny toy poodle to go first).

Instant hit. Harvey has been inside Home Depot, but not inside Wilco, and not during Spring chick sale. He was overcome by the odors: baby birds, dog treats, dog food, former and present dogs. He didn’t tug at his leash, but he was definitely engaged.

The Nutro sales people were in force in the aisles. This was good because we buy Nutro brand dog food. And if the salesman was completely smitten by my dog, it could only mean he would bend over backward to help me out. I got the bag of dog food loaded onto the cart for me, a coupon for $2 off, extra help at the check-out counter, and someone to load the dog food into my car.

And Harvey had his ears scratched and his praises lauded. Everyone loved that he was a rescue dog from the dog pound.

Good boy, Harvey!

He had to wait for me at the next store and he barked when I left him and when he saw me coming back, much to the amusement of other shoppers in the parking lot. His big old tail waved like a flag.

I could get used to this dog ownership stuff. Harvey is much more useful in a parking lot than a cat is.

epilogue: Don called me when he was done snow-shoeing and I put Harvey into his kennel. Sorry, dude: you stay home now. I drove out to Estacada to meet Don for dinner and we talked about his day. So I got to have dinner out with my sweetheart AND I got to take Harvey shopping. It was a nice day. I think Harvey was happy (except for the going out to dinner part).

Still Alive

I really am.

But life has been rather hectic. See my previous post.

Tonight I am posting a few snapshots and calling it good. And maybe a funny (to me) story.

This was the scene from my front door a week ago. The nice thing about March snow storms is the snow doesn’t usually last very long.

My little Thomas Kinkade house.

So here’s a story about Thomas Kinkade. His art is good, but he isn’t my favorite. My favorite is Claude Monet. I like most of the Impressionists of that time period: Van Gogh, Edouard Manet, Renoir. I found a nice calendar featuring Claude Monet at the grocery store and I decided to buy it. I got to the check out and the clerk looked at it.

“Oh, that’s really nice!”

“Yes, the artist is one of my favorites.”

“Oh? Thomas Kinkade?”

Right. Because their styles are so incredibly similar.

Harvey has PTSD

Something happened tonight that gave me a little more insight into Harvey’s psyche. It wasn’t pretty. I mean, Harvey’s memories are not pretty, not the events or Harvey.

We were watching a movie (“Buck”, if you must know – made me want a horse again. Like I ever quit wanting a horse). Harvey was being a good dog: stretched out on his bed and snoring peacefully.

Murphy was being a pill. Don scolded him a few times, but he kept it up. Then he got into the trash. Well, Don got up and scolded him severely (and raised his voice) and ordered him to his own bed on the floor. Really just routine dog ownership stuff.

But not to Harvey. He freaked out. He tucked his tail and made as wide a berth as he could around Don and Murphy and headed for the dark hallway where he shivered and lay down.

Once Don got Murphy settled into his “time out”, we both tried calling and coaxing Harvey back. No dice. I had to go get him and with my hand on his shoulder, gently guide him back to his bed in the living room.

We finished the movie, but Harvey was still acting “off”. He needed extra pats and soft words, which both of us gave him. He did make up to Don and he’s up here in the studio with me and he is finally calmed down.

Someone beat this dog, and they beat him severely.

This dog craves love and attention. He loves to be brushed. He loves to have his chin scratched. He hasn’t a mean bone in his body, but he does have some broken ones.

He has never reacted like this in the two years we have owned him. Tonight, some dark memory was triggered and he relived an event or series of events that left him damaged, mentally and emotionally and possibly physically. Suddenly, a lot of his past behavior is falling into place in my mind.

When we traveled last spring, he often became quite frantic and I had to sit and hold him until he calmed down. He needed to be told he was a good dog, over and over and over. When he ran away last summer, he had this terrified look in his eyes whenever I got close to him. When I finally caught him and we walked home, he had enough time to process the walk so I never had a chance to understand that look in his eyes.

Now I think I understand. He was chased and beaten. Maybe he was beaten for running away. He was hurt. I wonder if that was when his tail was broken? His back legs show signs of having been damaged somehow: I wonder if that was when he got hurt? Whoever did this to him, hurt him a lot.

I think it has a lot to do with why he sometimes eats frantically, as if he is not going to have a chance at another meal. He’s afraid he’s going to be kicked around.

Don felt bad. He was just scolding Murphy. Murphy is over it in ten seconds. “What? I got in trouble? Oh, that was SO ten seconds ago!”

But Harvey took half an hour to calm down, and he was not the dog being scolded!

I told Harvey that there’s a special place in hell for people who do that to dogs. Or any other living creature.

A little more of Harvey’s “story” has come to light. I am reminded, once again, how fortunate I am that he has come into my life. I’m pretty sure that if he could process thoughts in a human way, he would feel the same. He is presently stretched out and snoring peacefully.

I hope I never meet the person who owned Harvey before me. I really, really hope that for their sake. Because it won’t be pretty.