Jaci Dawn

I really don’t know who this is a photo of. Somewhere along the line I thought it was Mary Elizabeth Wilcox (the first Mary) but I really am not certain. It could be a photo of my father. It’s undated and there’s no way to know the sex of the child in the photo because little boys were dressed like little girls.

But let’s pretend it is Mary Elizabeth Wilcox. Just because there’s a story here.

My grandfather, Fred Orson Wilcox (“Fritz”) was born in 1898. August 30, 1898, to be specific. When he was 8 years old, his parents brought him a little sister.

Mary Elizabeth Wilcox was born on November 2, 1906.

In August of 1907, she died. It was a tragedy that haunted his parents and my grandfather.

Gramps was thrilled to become the father of a little girl on the 4th of January 1927. He named her after his sister: Mary Elizabeth Wilcox.

The whole family in 1943: step siblings Dick, Peggy & J.R. Bromley on the left with their mother, Thelma Wilcox. Fritz is beside Thelma (I knew Thelma as my “Granny”). Mary E. & Jack to the right with Fred Phillip (“Mike”) Wilcox on the very far right. Mike is my dad’s half-brother. That’s “Midge” in the background (I find it funny that all the old family photos name the dogs or cats).

Mary E. and John T. (“Jack”) were born to Gramps’ first wife, Sylvia Cusick Wilcox. Sylvia died in 1930. I never think of her as my grandmother because I never knew her – I only knew Granny.

There was a second wife in there (Uncle Mike’s mom, Virginia Newby).

Fast forward to 1945:

Mary E. Wilcox looking all sultry and divine, modeling an outfit some sailor sent her. (I love the shoes. I would own those shoes. I want those shoes.)

Fast forward to 1948 when Mary was 21. I don’t know much of the details. She had a daughter in Montana and she was married. But she was driving home to Montana by herself and she was not sober. She rolled the Jeep she was driving and she died.

On the 2nd of November many years later, my father became father to a little girl. I’m sure that freaked my grandfather out a little bit: I now shared the same birthday as his long-lost baby sister. But I wasn’t named after her.

That came later. My parents had another little girl in the very late 1950’s and this child they named after the two Marys. Except for one thing: they changed her middle name so she would not carry the “curse” of early death. It was assumed that the name Mary Elizabeth Wilcox was a cursed name.

Sadly, the middle name had nothing to do with the curse. It was just the combination of “Mary” and “Wilcox” that did the deed.

My sister, Mary Denise Wilcox, died at the age of 40 (almost 41).

My mother, Mary Lou Melrose Wilcox, died at the age of 63.

The moral of this story is: don’t name your baby girl Mary Wilcox.

I made all that up about the family curse.

I still don’t know who is in this photo. But I think it makes a great family legend to perpetuate the myth that it is Mary Elizabeth Wilcox and her name was cursed.

My brother will bop me on the head. He’s a “Just-the-facts-ma’am” kind of guy.

Me, I like the mystery.

(I did not make up the dates or the deaths. Those are facts.)

So what skeletons are hanging in your closet?

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I eat beef. Please don’t yell at me. I tried to be a vegetarian once. Really. It didn’t last. I have nothing against vegetarians or vegans, so I ask you to please not have a problem with me for being an omnivore. I love meat and I like red meat. It’s just how it goes.

All that said to cover this story I just read on KATU’s news site. Truck carrying frozen beef hits cow.

I want to tell you it ended well, but the cow died.

The story reminded me of this song by Dana Lyons:

Watch out for those cows, folks. They’re gonna jump into the road and yell “TORA TORA TORA!” next time you transport antibiotic-laden, grain-fed, feedlot beef down the freeways of America…

(Why cows would shout “Tiger! Tiger! Tiger!” is beside me. You just have to trust me that this was probably a planned suicide attack by a terrorist cow that had been groomed by & trained by the Bovine Jihad – which is not affiliated with any religious movement of human nature)

Next installment: Homeland Security steps up its security screening of milk and beef cows with invasive udder pat-downs and hoof-print screenings…

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Digging through old photos again. I am just amazed at how much history my family has managed to preserve, including a few old photos here and there.

Generations.  Sarah Lord Wilcox, mother of William Orson Wilcox, father of John T. Wilcox I, father of Fred Orson “Fritz” Wilcox (not pictured), father of John T. Wilcox II.

I have photos of my dad’s father but they’re buried in another box and I didn’t feel like digging it out just to make the generations flow there. Besides which, there was a continuity of generational looks that I wanted to keep intact. Gramps (Fritz) doesn’t quite fit in between the John T.’s. And I never cease to be amazed at how much the John T.’s look alike.

How about this one:

In this undated photo we have two small children and a very dead deer. The deer was dinner and in the early 1930’s, it meant several meals. So don’t email me about animal cruelty or I’ll tell you the story of the two children in the photo.

I’m going to tell you about them anyway. On the left, John T. Wilcox II. On the right, his older sister, Mary Elizabeth Wilcox. He’s holding a shotgun & she has a small caliber rifle in her hand. I have no idea what her other hand holds but it looks like a toy chicken. The photo is circa 1934-1936. I’m leaning toward 1934 because he looks about 6 years old.

They lost their mother in 1930 to something that sounds terribly like flesh-eating bacteria as recorded in my grandfather’s journal. The Great Depression wiped out the family finances. Their father had a series of live-in “house keepers” that were not exactly kind to the children. Jack, the boy, remembers picking strawberries with his sister. He hates strawberries. He also hates chicken. That deer was a welcome change in their diet.

Mary Elizabeth was named after an ancestor of the same exact name who died as an infant.

Mary Elizabeth died young. In her 20’s, she was driving drunk & rolled the jeep she was in, dying instantly.

The boy in the photo gave up hunting as an adult. He dedicated his life to conservation. He’s also my dad and I’m kind of fond of him.

This is a fun one. The man on the left is my father’s Uncle Ed Cusick. It’s his photo ID so he could be a bartender. The man on the right is my father’s grandfather (and Uncle Ed’s father): Oscar Cusick. He was sheriff of Fremont County, Idaho from 1919-1920. They sure look alike, don’t they?

Uncle Ed’s sister, Sylvia, was the mother who died young and left behind Mary & Jack.

How about something from the other side of my family? I found this cool photo of my great-grandmother Robinson:

This is my Great grandmother Robinson. She’s my mother’s grandmother. She had a slew of children, all of whom lived to be over 80. My Great-Aunt Cindy and my Great Aunt Doris really favored her. Well, Great Aunt Doris still favors her at age 101. My great-grandmother looks like such a lovely person.

When I put these two photos side-by-side I had an epiphany.

The woman on the right is my mother.

Look at the facial similarities with her grandmother. Can you just say “wow”? because I did.

I have always wondered what my mom would look like if she had not died at the young age of 63, when her hair was still dark. I think I now know.

She would have looked like her grandmother. Still beautiful.

I love old photos.

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I have a group of friends I see about once a year, maybe once every other year and sometimes twice a year. Our friendships date back over 20 years to the time when we were all young Christians and involved in a denomination that is borderline cult. Some of my friends were more into it than I ever was: shortly after we started attending Victory Chapel in Oregon City, our pastor cut all ties with the cult and formed a non-denominational church he named New Beginnings. And most of those friends from Victory Chapel & Potter’s House also attended New Beginnings, if only for a short while.

Don & I attended NBCC for over 15 years before the go-go-go demand got to us and we found we could no longer burn the candle at both ends. We followed many others out the door and into the world of the un-churched, which is where we remain to this day.

Some of my girlfriends are involved in different churches and one of them remains at New Beginnings. Some of us are un-churched but only in the sense that we don’t have a church home anymore.

Not all of us have children but most of us do and our children are close enough in age that they all knew each other and were maybe even friends (or still are). We range in age from 40 to 55. Only two of us are grandmothers.

I love seeing these women. We don’t agree on everything, we don’t have all the answers, we’ve all been through some sort of hell (usually having to do with children or spouses – or both), and we all have a strong connection to our faith. Not all of us were able to be at the party today.

Today’s excuse for a get-together was Julianne’s 50th birthday. She came all dressed up and wore a tiara, a birthday hat, and carried a magic wand (balloon).

The cake was gorgeous!

I love these women: DeeDee, Kathy, Julianne, Diane, Christina, Ardith, Christina, Jaci & Reva.

What’s not to love?

They are witty, intelligent, loving, non-judgmental, strong women.

I’m not sure what Julianne was doing with that last candle. Choking, I think.

We are also peri-menopausal and post-menopausal. We talk over each other. We share our hurts and bare our hearts.

And the only reason we ever get together is because of Ardith.

That’s Ardith on the right with the bright purple shirt and the glasses. Ardith is committed to getting us all together and keeping the fires of friendship burning in our hearts. Friendships that may have died because we all went our separate ways are kept strong because Ardith has this gift to pulling us all back together.

That’s Kathy, Julianne, Christina & Ardith in the photo. Christina is the youngest.

I just want to thank Ardith for her wonderful gift of friendship and for always bringing us back together when our natural tendency is to wander off.  Ardith: you rock as a friend.

Christina (Julianne’s sister), Ardith, Christina, Diane, Kathy, DeeDee & I all around Queen for a Day, Grandma Julianne.(Reva already left – sorry you missed out on this photo, Reva!)

Happy Fiftieth, Julianne!

Friendship is a wonderful gift.

I love you, Girls!!

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Mom-mom visited her little blond grandboys today. She learned all kinds of interesting things about “Bawb Bawbub” (I’m told that means “Bob the Builder”). She met the new lizard, a Chinese Water Dragon named “Starbucks”. (Do you have to add the ™ when you name a pet with a Trademark?) She fielded a dozen inquiries about where “Buppy” was (home, in his kennel, where he belongs).

Gamma (who is the same as Mom-mom, it just depends on who is doing the talking) took her camera.

“Take a pitcher of my hand, Gamma”

Silent, like Harpo Marx, the middle child poses his hand, too.

“Take a pitcher of us, Gamma!”

Harpo sticks out his tongue.

“Take a pitcher of me and Eli, Gamma.”

Very generous of you to include Eli, Z.

Harpo is silently praising himself for the tongue-sticking-out strategy. Smile, Mom-mom!

“Look, Gamma! I’m a fish!”

Nom-nom-nom. Harpo may be silent by choice but Chubs here is just silent. Nom-nom-nom.

Which brings me to a question: what do you do with two orange rubbery dog-biscuit holders when your dogs are more likely to chew them up than wait to appreciate the imaginary treats inside? Why, give them to your grandsons to use as coin or “treasure” purses, of course. Or teething toys.

Of course, there’s Harpo’s use, too. He walked from the kitchen to the living room with his rubber dog treat/coin purse on his head.

“He wants us to sing ‘Happy Birthday'” his mother explained.

“Look Gamma! We’re both wearin’ our birfday hats!”

“Oh, hahahaha hoo hoo hahahahaha”

My thoughts exactly, Eli.

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Four years ago I started this blog.

That’s it, nothing else. At least nothing else on that subject.

Yesterday I learned that my 19 year old cousin died. Kersten was my first cousin once removed (the child of my first cousin). I don’t know the details, only that 19 is far too young to die. Just two years ago we were shocked by the news that my husband’s nephew, then 19, died. Don’s family lives much closer than my extended family and we were able to make it to the funeral. I won’t make it to Kersten’s funeral which is in Wisconsin. But my heart will be there with my cousin, Tori, and her remaining children.

On the heels of that news came a little package in the mail: a photograph of my great-great grandfather William Orson Wilcox. It is a stunning photo in the sense of family resemblance. I see my great grandfather’s face in the photo and my father’s face. I see my face.

And that is it for tonight.

ttfn

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“As if” a kidney stone was good news, right?

No, silly – that is not a kidney stone! That’s a little bead next to a tape measure and a penny for comparison. But the bead is about the size of said kidney stone: 5mm.

I’m irked and relieved.

Irked, you say? How could I be irked? It’s not freaking cancer, for crying out loud! And you would be right (little happy dance behind the scenes). I’m just irked that I spent three and a half months in limbo land bouncing between “No, it can’t be a kidney stone” and “It might be a kidney stone” to “The kidney stone is most likely not the cause” and, finally, to “The kidney stone is the only thing we can find so it must be the cause.”

But being irked is a minor thing. I am quietly (because I really don’t jump up and down and squeal when I am excited) relieved and happy.

At least I am happy until that little puppy decides to slip a little and I finally get to feel its presence. Then I won’t be happy.

But until then, I have all the reason in the world to be in bliss.

How did we arrive at this diagnosis? Well, today was the last ditch test to find out why I am peeing blood: the doctor actually looked inside my bladder with a little camera. He was looking for lesions, cancerous growths, anything that would produce the almost-visible-to-the-naked-eye blood. Before today’s procedure, I had my internal organs scanned in a C-T Scan and scanned again with an ultrasound machine.

All those tests proved was that I have polyps in my gallbladder (not a probable cause of bleeding but something to check on again in 12 months) and I have a 5mm kidney stone high up in my kidney. It’s a smooth round stone. I saw it on the ultrasound.

I am a very healthy woman with a bizarre issue that can only be traced back to that irksome kidney stone.

While we’re all doing our virtual happy dance, there’s the future to consider: do I ask the doctor to blast the kidney stone out now? Or do I take a wait-and-see attitude with a follow-up x-ray in 6 months? If I start bleeding more or I suddenly have pain (as in the kidney stone moves), I could call & have the doctor blast it out as an emergency procedure.

I’m leaning toward the wait-and-see. It’s just an x-ray (they can see kidney stones on x-rays because they’re made up of calcium) and I will have time to build up my sick time (which I have exhausted). The dust will have settled from all the current insurance claims. I’ll have some pennies saved.

God always has a plan. Over the past week as the time for today’s cystoscopy appointment drew near, God quickened my heart and reminded me of several passages in the Bible that I could apply to my emotions. From the first chapter of the book of Joshua (“Be strong and courageous” – God says that several times to encourage Joshua in what he is about to face as a major trial) to several of the Psalms (27, 23, 25, 149 – just off the top of my head) and on into Matthew 6 (Don’t worry about tomorrow because you can’t change tomorrow. Deal with today), little reminders of His provision popped into my head.

I never really doubted that God was walking by my side through this whole (stupid cry wolf) scary time. Nor have I doubted my friendships: I have wonderful friends & family!! I did doubt my body, but bodies have a way of failing us.

I hope no one thinks I cried wolf to get people to feel sorry for me. Not on your life: I’d rather you made me laugh and I want to make you smile in return! So smile! SMILE!

Breathe deep, live fully, laugh hard, love with all your might – and keep on planting trees.

“Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree.” – Martin Luther

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Project Feeder Watch is officially over next Friday. I love doing this: you just have to watch your bird feeder for two days in a row every five to ten days apart and keep track of the number and species of bird visitors. I learned about the project from someone on Facebook 3 years ago, but I didn’t participate until the winter of 2009-10. It was so much fun that I decided to do it again this winter.

I’ll continue to watch the birds all summer, I just won’t keep track of how many of each species comes to my feeder until Project Feeder Watch begins again next Fall.

It’s been a frustrating winter: the birds didn’t come to my feeder in huge flocks, but in small doses. Today, the last day, was typical: the most birds of one species that came to the feeder at one time was 4 dark-eyed juncos.

Last winter, I had counts like 17 bushtits or 15 band-tailed pigeons at one time.

This weekend was a good birding day, not because of the huge numbers but because of the large variety of birds that stopped by: 11 different species. And some of them held still long enough for me to get photos. How exciting is that?

One of the four dark-eyed juncos. Usually I have more than four juncos at a time.

I also had 3 English House Sparrows, 2 Chipping Sparrows and 3 House Finches.

This male House Finch was dueling one of the English House Sparrows for a spot on the feeder. The finch eventually won (they are both finches, technically: the English House Sparrow is a Weaver Finch).

The usual birds came by and a new one for the season: black-throated hummingbird. I didn’t get a photo of the elusive hummer: darn!

An American Robin even dropped in.

I had 2 Chestnut-backed Chickadees and 2 Black-capped Chickadees, only 1 bushtit (that’s highly unusual as they fly in large flocks but it is nesting season so it probably has a nearby nest that mama is sitting on. I hope), and one red-breasted nuthatch.

But my favorite for the day was a rare sighting in a feeder.

The Rufous-sided Towhee. I love this bird! He’s colorful and has strange red eyes and a unique “buzzing” call. And this one held still long enough for me to get a decent photo of him.

I take my photos through a picture window and I sometimes wonder what the neighbors must think when they see me with camera or binoculars in hand! I’m just watching birds, not spying on people. I promise.

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