Jaci Dawn

The dreaded invitation comes: you are invited to the company party and it will be a “White Elephant Gift Exchange”. You groan inwardly.

Or you get excited.

I think about half of us love this tradition and half of us dread it. I fall into the latter half: I love the whole concept, right down to the god-awful bear skin rug that was passed around one year at a White Elephant party we hosted in our home. I did feel sort of sorry for the woman who ended up taking it home, but she seemed like a good sport at the time. The fact that I’ve never heard from her again might be a hint that she wasn’t so thrilled, but I wasn’t the person who wrapped up that ugly bear skin rug under the guise of Christmas generosity. I promise.

I’ve scored some pretty great gifts at White Elephant parties: my favorite Christmas mug, a candy box, a Black & Decker iron that was a recycled wedding gift (they must have received two and kept the better one), and my tin snowman with the broom that lights up.

Our company party is always a White Elephant gift exchange. One year, I scored a little portable tool kit. There was one character who “stole” everyone’s gift and that tool kit didn’t last long in my possession. It was a strange year because another portable tool kit was unwrapped by someone else in the office and quickly set aside. I thought I detected that the recipient was not very pleased with what she perceived as a prank gift. In fact, she showed less poise than the woman who got the ratty bear skin rug did, of-so-many-years ago. I thought this girl was going to cry.

As it happened, I was in possession of something really cool (probably a bottle of wine) that someone came and stole from me. That meant I could have one more go at the dwindling stack of gifts on the table… or I could rescue someone from a gift she really didn’t want. The truth is: I really wanted that gift. What woman doesn’t need her own tool kit? A real hammer, set of screw drivers, a cheap level, brads, screws, and a pair of pliers.

That tool kit has been well used, and it hasn’t always been by me. My husband would rather look for my tool kit (which is stored in the house) than go out and look for a hammer in his big red Snap On™ tool chest.

I’ve received some duds, too.

The ugly metal bird yard ornament was one of them. Fortunately, Murphy killed it off in the Summer of 2009. Good Bird Dog.

The Black and Decker recycled iron was one of them, too. I already had a brand new iron and certainly didn’t need a second one. But I brought it home and re-homed the iron of lesser value. For the record, I like the B&D iron and it does a good job.

Two years ago, I found an actual white ceramic elephant at Goodwill. I packaged it up and took it to work, hoping my then-supervisor (who loves elephants) would get it. Alas, she did not. But the woman who did end up with it (after several steals) still raves about how much she loves that white elephant.

This year, everyone was a good sport. We have a lot of new employees who have never played the game with the established crew, so there was a lot of the “unknown” factor in the party. I sat between two women in our marketing department, neither of which has been with the company for a full year yet. The one on my right leaned over and asked, “So… there was a dollar limit of $15. Is this a *real* White Elephant or do people buy nice gifts?”

“Six of one, half a dozen of the other,” I replied. “Which is what makes it exciting. You never know…”

The one on my left opened the first gift. It was tacky beyond words.

I sat next to her and watched as every other person passed it over. They fought over the toilet bowl coffee cup and the bottle of wine, but no one was touching the incredibly tacky mauve mouse on a ceramic ornament.

Ah, but my turn came near the end, and I had a mission. I needed to save that mouse from mauve! I just wanted to know if I could pull the ribbon out to replace it with a much nicer ribbon of red or green. Yup. And the puff ball? It can be protected from paint.

That mouse had no choice but to come home with me. I wanted that mouse. I will convert that ugly mauve paint job to a more Christmas-y theme soon. I’m not sure if I will do silver-and-blue (most likely) or green-and-red (in the running) or white-and-gold (unlikely).

And that is *why* I love White Elephants.