Jaci Dawn

*This is in response to a FaceBook question I posed to my friends. Give me a subject and see if I can write about it in 1500 words or less. The actual challenge was: “Tfying something new…feeling fear and doing it anyway” (she apologized for the typo – :D)

Trying something new for me always seems to revolve around animals. I can be pretty bold at acting, entering new situations, going places alone – or at least I can fake it pretty well. Animals can see beyond the faking it. They smell fear. However, I draw the line at dare-devil activities like zip lines. I have always been a huge chicken when it comes to putting my body out there into a situation I do not have complete control over.

I think that eventually I would get on a zip line. I’d have to walk back and forth awhile. I’d go out when no one else was there and sit and contemplate it. I’d read up on all the “how to” articles: how to hold myself, how to plant my feet, how to trust the damn thing to slow down at the end – how to trust the line not to break. This is something that dates back to me as an infant: I preferred to sit and absorb the situation before I moved in and tried something. My little sister jumped in with both feet and my brother encouraged her. They had far more boisterous adventures than I ever had, but I am quite comfortable with that.The last time I faced any sort of debilitating fear of walking into a new situation was in 2000. I’d been a stay-at-home-mom for years. My children were attaining self-sufficiency. The oldest had a driver’s license and could motor back and forth from the community college to home. We were still homeschooling, but my role as a parent had greatly diminished as the kids discovered they could take courses at the community college or study on their own.My friend called one day. Did I know anyone who needed a job? Anyone? Her receptionist quit and she was having to handle the front desk and her own job, alone.I suggested another friend, a friend who was always complaining about how she did not have enough money to make ends meet. As soon as I hung up, I had that unsettling feeling that I had just missed the boat.The story goes that there was a huge flood in the land. The water was rising rapidly. (I always picture the Mississippi River basin when I hear this parable.) A very religious man stood on his porch, watching the water rise. Some neigghbors paddled up in their boat and told him to get in so they could save him. “Nope,” he said. “God is going to save me. He promised.”The water continued to rise, pushing the man up to the roof of his house. There he sat, watching the local livestock wash away. A helicopter came by and a ladder was dropped. The EMT climbed down and told the man to grab ahold and climb out. “Nope,” he said. “God is going to save me. He promised.”The house broke free from its foundation and floated down the river. The man succumbed to the cold and wet and slipped into the water where he drowned. He rose up to the Pearly Gates where Saint Peter met him and he was admitted. Upon admittance, he stood before the Throne of God and he railed in anger: “Where were You? You promised me you would save me! But here I am! My house is gone, my farm is washed away, and I am dead! How could You!?”And God said, “Well, I sent you a boat and then I sent you a helicopter. What else did you want?”Silently, I prayed: “God if I just missed the boat, You’ll send a helicopter, right?”Two weeks later, my friend called back, more desperate than before. She needed help right away and I was the only person she could think of to call and ask for prayer. Could I think of *anyone* who could use a job?HELICOPTER.I hesitated. “Well, I guess God is telling me that I could use a job. But I don’t have a resume and I haven’t worked in years and…””OH THANK YOU GOD!” she exclaimed.So I spent the rest of the evening piecing together a resume and trying to put my past experience as a front office person into relative terms for the present. And the following day, I picked out my best clothes (limited, again, due to my years as a homeschooler) and I drove in for the interview.It went terribly. I got back into my Jeep and drove slowly back home, thinking that at least I had not ignored the hope that it was a helicopter come to save us from a rising flood of inflation. I didn’t get the job, but I stepped out there and tried. When I walked into the house, I was convinced it was not meant to be.My husband looked up and said, “Oh, you had a phone call. She wants you to be there at 8AM tomorrow morning. I told her you could do that and that you were probably on your way home just now.”I have been with the company for 13 years this month. There have been other moves, lateral moves, that have been almost as scary. I was offered the position of office manager after two years and I went in and cleaned up a branch office, organizing it from A-Z. I moved from office manager to closing coordinator with no accounting experience, only the encouragement of the original friend and the man who was then CFO. It was a good move from homeschooling stay-at-home-mom to full time employee. Scary, but good. I am glad I did not turn down the helicopter.(I hope the challenge my friend faced this Sunday went as smoothly as my transition from SAHM/homeschooler to employee went. Hers was a similar move.) 999 words. 🙂