Jaci Dawn

*I put this out on Facebook: Give me a subject to blog about. Under 1500 words. This is the first topic.

In 2009, the last of my children left home. I became my own student. If you have no one else to guide or direct, you have yourself. Regardless of the paths my children would choose (theirs entirely, and none of my own interference), I have my own path to follow.

Here is what I have taught myself since 2009.

1. How to let go. There is no perfect parenting guide out there. There is only life. Children will leave angry, say angry things. They will make terrible mistakes. They will marry and have their own children. They will get involved in bad relationships. Rule #1 of parenting an adult is: do not judge. You were there first. You made the same stupid mistakes. Dated the same kind of abusive boyfriends. Paid the same kinds of bad debts. Needed a loan. Therefore: do not judge your children, loan when you can and write it off as soon as possible. Help daughter move out every time she asks because she is more important than the questions you want to ask (and she will tell you when you don’t ask).

2. How to love a dog. I have always had a dog in my life, but never one that was entirely dependent on me for love and companionship and training. I learned that a dog is not very different than a horse. and since I fear both horses and dogs and I know I have overcome most of the fear of horses, I could overcome fear of dogs. The difference between herd and pack animal is minimal. A horse can hurt you simply because it is a herd animal in a hierarchy in which you do not display dominance. A dog can hurt you simply because it is a pack animal and you don’t display dominance. Display dominance and you have the animal’s undying love and devotion, horse or dog.

3. I started reading the classics. I presented them to my children but we did not make them required reading. Some books were required reading in high school, but somehow the only Dickens we read was “A Christmas Story” and “Oliver Twist” so when I opened up “Great Expectations” I expected another dreary Industrial Revolution tale. I was mildly surprised by Dickens’ sense of humor.

4. Politics. I have learned that politics are entirely subjective. There are people who identify only with their “party”, but most people are willing to look at all sides of a subject. Most people being entirely subjective to my friends’ list on Facebook. I do have friends who would die if you spoke evil against their political party, but they aren’t very open to listening to the other side to begin with.

5. Travel. I have been to Colorado Springs twice. I learned I could drive long distances by myself. I could even remember how to pump gas.

6. Estate planning and Trusts. Hard lesson learned, but my dad did it right. I also learned that beloved nephews can be little money-sucking jerks. Not a very happy lesson to learn.

7. Antidepressants. I learned that is is entirely acceptable to go back on to antidepressants. And to tell your children.

8. Mediterranean Diet. That isn’t entirely the truth: I learned that I love the man I married. Upside down, sidewayd, every which way. I love him. I know more about atrial fibrillation than I would like to know.

9. Hematoma. Or Hemangioma. I will blog more on this when I get the pathology report back.

10. Accounting Software. I am in the unique position of learning an entirely new (to me) accounting software program. How cool is that?

11. relying on God when the job goes south. Or you think it went south. Mine went south – or so I thought – but I held on to God and stayed steady. It is working out and I am making new friends. That is huge. You never lose your ability to make new friends.

12. Indian culture. One of my new friends is from the southern part of India and I am learning about the east Indian culture, especially as it is specific to the southern portion of India. My new acquaintance is Brahman and I am learning about Brahmans. This coincided with reading Siddhartha by Herman Hesse. It also coincides with a lot of Indian cuisine.

There is so much more, the point is: life is about learning. i wanted to instill that in my children: that life is always about learning. As I watch them make their way in life, i am blessed to see they have the tools they need to face the curves that are thrown them. It isn’t what they thought I expected oput of life for them, but they are willing to call me and talk about it. I am blessed that way, because I don’t have the answers. I’m still researching the answers.

I have a lot of things I want to learn more about:

bees

horticulture

oil painting

painting technique

more reading!

how to write

Publishing books

Selling art online

Gardening

Heck, there’s no end to subjects. All we have to do is engage our sense of curiosity and start looking up things.

(I didn’t need 1500 words for this subject – woot – probably could have tuned it down to 500 words. Another lesson: how to trim your own posts. But I’m not working on that tonight…)