Jaci Dawn

Long, Long Ago or Once Upon a Time –

The year 2011 dawned with fresh hope, fireworks and New Year’s Resolutions. I always make Resolutions and I usually keep about half of them for about half the year.

One resolution I made for 2011 was to take a photo per day. I kept that one.

I was going to lose 15 pounds. I lost it. I gained it back. Harvey gained it, too.

I was going to be healthier.

January was wet and miserable. I started the journey I am still on. Like the walk along the Willamette River, it looks like a straight path, but up ahead there’s a curve. Health-wise, I wasn’t certain 2011 was going to be a good year.

I talked to my dad a lot in the early months of 2011. He was scared for me. I was worried I was losing my marbles (like how I slipped that photo in? #39 of my 365). I had a Cat-Scan, ultrasound, x-ray and I-don’t-remember-what-all now. And no one would tell me anything. Except my urologist. He was firmly planted in the I-don’t-know camp. He admitted that.

March, thankfully, pulled me out of my self-imposed self-retrospect. I seriously needed a reality check. Life is good, don’t you know? And better when you are a grandmother. I have my little tan boys and my pasty white boys and life is GOOD. Hugs, kisses, laughs.

By April, my life was feeling a little more in balance. The little balancing rocks were given to me by a seer at a faerie festival: according to her, if I could keep the rocks balanced in the palm of my hand, life was balanced all around. Apparently, I hadn’t had to use my prednisone inhaler and my hands were steady at the tame.

Anyway – in April, I learned that my problem was not life-threatening: I had a 5mm kidney stone lodged in my left kidney. Reminds me of a joke my cousin Patti told us all when I was 8 years old. I called my dad and we celebrated.

The last time we talked was the first of May. On the 5th, he was gone. He planned it, I have no doubt: he knew I was going to be OK and he really just wanted to be done with the pain and suffering that life offers. But for me, that meant a road trip to Ely in the middle of May when it is still winter in the high desert country of Nevada.

June passed in a whirl. I had the surgery that was supposed to end all my problems with little ultrasound waves that supposedly blew up the kidney stone.

My garden bloomed and I spent blissful hours weeding, rearranging, and planning artful projects.If only the weather had been as blissfully cooperative! But there were some nice days and the sun did come out to play!

In August, my mother’s side of the family convened in Oregon. We meet every three years and this is the first time we’ve all landed in Oregon – all of us that could make it, that is. My mother’s two older sisters were there And most of my cousins. We’ve always been very close-knit and it was greatly comforting to be surrounded by strong women who can’t sing a lick but who sing anyway. I LOVE my cousins.

September passed. I think we actually had summer during September but I cannot honestly remember. Maybe a weed of temperatures over 80 degrees and no clouds. The garden faded. I knew by September that the kidney stone persisted, but I no longer felt any great fear.

In a rare appearance, my totem – the Raven – greeted Chrystal and I as we made our last trip down to Ely to settle my dad’s estate. I suppose my toem is the entire family of corvidae,  but Raven is the form I like best. Crows are noisy and bothersome; Raven is solitary and tricky. I took it as a good omen that Raven was there.

Ah, November. Another year older. Perhaps wiser.

And certainly another year full of wonder.

2011 was, perhaps, not the best year ever. It was not the worst year ever. It was what it was. And tomorrow will be what it will be.

So what are my plans for 2012? Ah, yes, that: resolutions and plans. And why not? A goal to meet, perhaps? 15 pounds to lose -again.

I resolve to be a better friend. To remember birthdays in time to send cards and to write letters more often. I resolve to actually pick up the telephone and dial. I hate the phone, but I resolve to actually call my friends from time to time to say “hi”.

I resolve to walk Harvey at least once a day every weekend day, and as the days get longer and we have more daylight, at least once a weekday.

I resolve to not be whiney. I will never keep this resolution because my basic Winnie-the-Pooh personality is that of either Rabbit or Eeyore. I will never be a Tigger. But I will try.

I resolve to find a way to travel more.

I resolve to take up at least one friend on a trail ride. I have two offers. Both friends are better horsewomen than I am. As long as they promise no galloping, I am fine with a trail ride.  Madge & Jodi – this means you guys. Somehow, we’re going to make it happen in 2012.

I’m not going to do the Photo 365 project in 2012, but I resolve to take better bird photos with my new camera. I call this one “Waiting Turns”. (Bushtits)

I hope you all have a safe New Year’s Eve. I am going to go babysit the 3 little blond grandsons while their parents go out. I told my daughter to rent me a Harry Potter movie. 😉 What could be better? Grandsons AND Harry Potter.

Have a Happy New Year and Welcome 2012!!