Jaci Dawn

I eat beef. Please don’t yell at me. I tried to be a vegetarian once. Really. It didn’t last. I have nothing against vegetarians or vegans, so I ask you to please not have a problem with me for being an omnivore. I love meat and I like red meat. It’s just how it goes.

All that said to cover this story I just read on KATU’s news site. Truck carrying frozen beef hits cow.

I want to tell you it ended well, but the cow died.

The story reminded me of this song by Dana Lyons:

Watch out for those cows, folks. They’re gonna jump into the road and yell “TORA TORA TORA!” next time you transport antibiotic-laden, grain-fed, feedlot beef down the freeways of America…

(Why cows would shout “Tiger! Tiger! Tiger!” is beside me. You just have to trust me that this was probably a planned suicide attack by a terrorist cow that had been groomed by & trained by the Bovine Jihad – which is not affiliated with any religious movement of human nature)

Next installment: Homeland Security steps up its security screening of milk and beef cows with invasive udder pat-downs and hoof-print screenings…