I try to keep my blog light and avoid “heavy” topics. For this reason, I was a tad bit irreverent yesterday when I wrote about where I am in the waiting game.
Trust me, I am not in the least bit angry at God.
I understand that many of my friends do not share the same faith I do. I never want to make you feel unwelcome.
That said, I have to say that it is my faith that is driving me these days. When this journey first began the doctors were bantering around the “C” word rather freely. It’s been 7 weeks this coming week & no one has diagnosed cancer. I keep getting put on the back burner (or so it seems to this rather selfish “about me” blogger).
I determined early on that I could either freak out or I could approach this from my foundation of faith.
I believe God has a crazy sense of humor. I know that people who survive the most adverse situations are people who are able to interject humor into them – or, barring laughter, an uplifting outlook on life. Humor (however twisted) is my defense.
I am not mad at God. I did ask Him if we could just fast-forward to the “I know what is wrong with me” part but I never seriously considered I would get a “yes” to that request. I figured it was right up there with “Never pray for patience – unless you want a lesson in patience”. (Can I get an “AMEN” from everyone who ever prayed for patience and then got a LESSON in patience?)
I also realize that the world is a huge mess right now and I am not exactly anyone’s prayer priority. For crying out loud, I don’t even know if I really have a problem or if the doctors all over-reacted. There are some real priorities out there: Christchurch, NZ; Libya; Wisconsin (did I just say that? Wisconsin? A priority? God love ya, cousins!); Somali pirates and murdered Americans and more on the world front. And in my own circle of influence, I have friends who are facing down the spectre of cancer – for real, not imaginary like me. God is pretty busy.
So here’s my commercial. I am sorry if I came off irreverent. I think God understands. I think God chuckled. I think God needed the laugh. He’s got some really depressing stuff on earth to deal with.
And to close, I want to quote my favorite bumper sticker (don’t read if you are easily offended – I just mean it to be funny):
“Jesus loves you, but I am His favorite.”
(As my dear friend in Auckland, NZ, would say: “Now I am ducking for cover in the bushes…”)
(For the rest of you: smile. God did. He thought it was cute. I’m sure He did because lightning did not strike me…)
(Life’s too short…)
(and no, noone said anything. I just felt guilty. How Catholic is that?)
(I’m Methodist.)
SHUT UP JACI.
OK. `ttfn 🙂
Jaci Dawn 
I am sorry, but I’m out of the office. Please leave your message at the sound of the beep.
I didn’t hear a beep.
Did it beep?
Is anyone there?
Hello. Hello.
What do I do if it doesn’t beep?
Hello? Hello?
OK, I’ll try my call later, guess you’re busy?
“click” Hmmmmmmmmmmmm
“BEEEEP”
I think it’s perfectly normal to be afraid when you have a problem that’s “unusual.” I also think that because we all know someone with cancer that it’s perfectly normal to be afraid of it if you have a problem.
I’m sure things will turn out fine for you, but even if it did turn out to be something awful, you would learn “how” to get through it and survive. It’s in all of us!
I hope you get your answers soon Jaci. It’s no fun to wait. I always wondered, “If this was your wife or your mom, wouldn’t you be working faster?” In fact, the second time I went through it, I started saying what I was thinking to the doctors, radiologists, and surgeons! It was liberating!
When I found the lump the second time, my oncologist said “Let’s just watch it for 6 months and see what happens.” My response (and yes, I actually said this to him) “Let’s put this on your penis and see if you want to watch it for 6 months.”‘
He sent me to my surgeon and I started chemo within a few weeks!
Oh, Jodi! hahaha! That was awesome!
There is a good possibility I am looking at cancer. It bugs me (the not knowing) but you are right: whatever it is, I will face it. I already decided that. This woman ain’t rolling over and giving up. (There’s a real high survival rate of bladder cancer.)
You know my religious views.
I think you might enjoy watching these.
http://www.mrdeity.com/
I have the video of Season 3. BUT you should watch them from the beginning. You can do that on You Tube or, like me Subscribe to the podcast on Itunes. It is FREE!!!
and it will have you understanding why god laughs.
I watched one so far. Need to bookmark the page. I love irreverent stuff like that (sort of like Bill Cosby’s “How Long Can You Tread Water?” skit). Thanks Mary!
You have a great attitude and no matter what the diagnosis turns out to be, I know in my heart you will be fine.
Thanks Deanna!