Jaci Dawn

I had a C-T Scan today. It was the most fun I’ve had since this whole “what-is-wrong-with-Jaci” adventure began six weeks ago. I say that without sarcasm. Mind you, I am not in pain at all but my doctors think something is wrong with me and it has been suggested that “that something” is a huge kidney stone.

I won’t get the C-T Scan results until tomorrow or even Wednesday, so I’m still up in the air as to what is going on with me.

Thirty years ago I passed a kidney stone. That was the pain from — well, somewhere. I thought I was going to die. This past history has a lot to do with why the urologist thinks this all might be a kidney stone. Apparently once you’ve passed one or two, you’re always a candidate for more. Even if you’ve changed your diet & dumped the sodas & calcium drinks.

The doctors put me through the 1980’s version of what I am going through right now. It was a lot different in 1981.

I remember they put an IV in my arm and put some iodine dye into my blood stream. Talk about feeling “warm and fuzzy” all over: it was the hot flash that never stopped happening. A very strange feeling, like all my blood vessels heated up from the inside. And then – oh, this is the kicker – they took x-ray imaging of me while I stood and emptied my bladder.

THAT was fun. I say that with sarcasm. Humiliating.

The end result was: yes, I had passed a kidney stone and yes, I could probably expect to pass more in my lifetime. Most would be smaller & probably cause only a little bit of discomfort. And through the years, I think I have passed a few but none that hurt like that first one did!

Flash forward to now and the current screening for kidney stones. Thirty years makes a lot of difference.

Same IV, but the iodine dye is mixed a little differently and you don’t even know they’ve injected you (except for the pulsing at the base of the needle in your arm). No warm fuzzy feeling. I rather missed that warm fuzzy feeling, but I also liked having hot flashes while they lasted. It was the only time in my life that I was spontaneously warm enough to walk around without a sweater and wool socks on.

And no ponderous x-ray machine. Or full bladder: I was told that I should not have anything to eat or drink for at least 4 hours prior to the C-T scan. Can I just say “whew?” because that full bladder thing with the first x-ray thing and subsequent ultrasounds during pregnancy just killed me.

The scan itself really was the most fun I’ve had since this whole business started. It was fascinating and benign. I am serious: it was actually rather fun.

I was a little worried about it. I had an MRI a few years ago when I tore the meniscus in my left knee: talk about claustrophobic! And I didn’t even go all the way into the machine, just waist down. And noisy! Dang thing clicked and whirred and banged incessantly.

The C-T Scanner is more like a giant donut than a tunnel. And quiet. A calm voice spoke out of the machine and told me to inhale deeply, hold my breath. The scanner whirred into action, sounding a little like the white noise of traffic on a rainy morning or a UFO getting ready to take off. The gurney moved in and back out and the nice voice told me I could breathe again.

I was there for 30 minutes, tops.No time to feel claustrophobic or get cold, even.

Now I have to wait for the results.If the urologist is right, then there is a kidney stone the size of … of… (how big can a kidney stone be?) a golf ball, then. And once the kidney stone is located, then I get to have the dang thing blasted.

That won’t be as much fun. I’m not keen on anesthesia. I especially do not like waking up from anesthesia with the chills and shivers.

At this point, I just want this all over so I can reclaim my lost six weeks. No, I haven’t put my life on hold – I have been very busy creating – but my mind has been on hold. It’s unbelievable how much worry a person can drum up simply by not knowing the answers!

At least I know that advances in medicine have brought us cool space age toys like C-T Scanners that look like giant metal donuts and sound like UFOs.

And ceiling murals that pretend to be windows looking up at a sunny spring day. Yeah, that part was really special: cottonwoods and locust trees in bloom against a clear blue sky. Except I happened to know it was dark, wet, rainy, and clearly not cottonwood time.

But I appreciate the thought.