Jaci Dawn

I’m not sure how I am going to wrap this post up so bear with me.

I uploaded several photos from my camera and they are all about the end of this beautiful autumn weather we have been having. But what has been on my heart to blog about is a different kind of ending.

I attended a “leadership training” seminar on Friday. Actually, it was a mandatory training meeting but the venue was the beautiful Waverly Country Club in Sellwood, Oregon, so no one was complaining. And it turned out to be a great training session by Allison Clarke Consulting.

The subject of her training was how do you want your life to look after you are gone? What do you want people to say about you? Were you passionate in what you did? Did you touch a lot of lives for the better? Did you live your dream(s) to the fullest?

There was a lot of food for thought and I have my little notes sitting on my desk where they are saying: You need a ‘bucket list’, Jaci.

I don’t want to climb the highest mountain or bungee jump or do something daredevil. That isn’t me. I’ve always been somewhat cautious and I expect to go on being somewhat cautious because that suits me just fine. But there are things I want to do.

Learn to play the piano, for instance.

Take part in one of those early morning photo shoots of a wild horse round-up. Or just plain hike in to some place where the wild horses are and get my own photos, unstaged.

Hike all the way to the top of Pike Creek Canyon, not peter out at the two mile mark like I do every single time.

Publish a book. Not any book, but a novel. Sci-fi fantasy or something… Well, I have two that I am working on & I hope to someday publish one of them. At least one of them.

The training session was interesting in a lot of different ways. I had to share some of my goals with a partner who is a real estate broker and is also a manager of our entire central Oregon division. He had to share his goals with me in turn. And guess what? Our first goal was the very same goal: to be the best parent/grandparent we could be. To make the phone calls, to make the trips to see the grands, to host the big Holiday dinner, to keep the family connected through the generations. Instead of feeling intimidated by his lofty goals, I found myself inspired to achieve my own: because being a connected grandparent is a wonderful, lofty goal.

I have friends who are connected to their community and live a life of giving. They run in races, organize charity events, and their life is about making a difference.

I haven’t done anything for my immediate community since I pulled my kids out of public school and quit the PTA. I was president of the PTA when they closed our little school. But when they closed the school, I lost all sense of community. I’ve floundered a little.

I have issues I feel passionate about but beyond donating items or money, I have done nothing to improve the world I live in. I feel bad about that – another item to add to my bucket list: Do something for the greater good of my community, even if it is as small as volunteering at our local library’s used book store. I do feel passionate about our local library.

Of course I want to make an impact on the art community with my weird faerie scupltures. Another item for my list: get serious about spending time in the studio and creating.

I have some travel goals. I’d like to go to Ireland and Scotland on a geneaological trek. I want to see New Zealand, especially the diversity of animal life there and the steep mountains. I want to see the Grand Canyon. And there’s so many rabbit trails right here in Oregon/Nevada/Idaho that I still haven’t wandered down.

Some of the goals I had when I was younger have been set aside but I think I should put them back on my bucket list even if they seem unattainable now: ride in a 50-mile endurance race on my own horse. I used to think that Whisper would be that horse, but time – and Whisper – slipped through my fingers.

The speaker who spoke on Friday also talked about engaging people: keeping friendships alive and gaining new ones, making people smile, and touching individual lives. So many people walk down the street and never make eye contact with a stranger or speak to anyone in a store. We rely on email and three-second status updates on social network. We never call people on the phone.

Well, I’m not going to change the phone habit. I hate phones. It kills me to pick up a receiver and talk for any length of time. I can’t think of anything to say. And I am not so certain that writing letters is not communicating well: in the ages past, letters were all there were. But I could write more letters more often and send little cards out.

And I could go out for coffee with my girlfriends once in awhile.

There’s so much to consider when you think about how you want to be remembered. If I want to be remembered well, I need to make a shift in how I approach life and quit holing up inside myself.

I’m not sure how it will all pan out, but I’m going to make an effort to write more, remember birthdays earlier, and call my girlfriends to go out for coffee once in awhile. Picking up the phone to achieve that last one may kill me and you’ll be reminiscing about it at my funeral…

Seriously, though. Life is pretty short. We need to embrace it. The winter winds will be here soon enough and will strip all the leaves from the trees.

Carpe Diem, quam minimum credula postero.

Seize the day, trusting as little as possible in the future.