I was just coming out of a very pleasant dream when I rolled over onto my back and looked at the alarm clock on Don’s side of the bed. 5:10AM. I could hear Don in the living room. Then I heard something moving around under the bed. Then it jumped up onto the bed: a rat! It crawled over by my face and just sat there. I couldn’t move, couldn’t shout, couldn’t shoo it. I wasn’t even sure it was real, but it seemed so real. I just wanted to be able to move. I wanted to call out to Don to come knock the rat off the bed for me.
Then I screamed.
Don came bolting into the bedroom where I sat on the bed, hyperventilating. “Are you OK?”
“I saw a rat.” (He didn’t believe that, so you gotta give the guy some credit. he knew I was having a really bad dream.)
I couldn’t go back to sleep, so I just got up. Don left for work shortly afterward, so I had the early morning and the entire Internet to search out sleep disorders.
I know I suffer from sleep paralysis. I’ve had it all my life and occasionally, I hallucinate. Usually, I have better coping skills when the episodes happen (I know I’m asleep; I know the feeling will pass; if I hallucinate, I have a stock set of prayers to fall back onto). This morning, however, the hallucination was so very real and my brain was awake: I knew what time it was! (It really was 5:10AM.)
I haven’t had that kind of nightmare since I was a young girl and I had haunting dreams.
The plus side to waking up to the nightmare was that I learned more about sleep paralysis than I thought possible and I did it in just a few clicks of the mouse. “I’m not alone” was my first thought.
The second one was, “I’ll wait until noon for the thought that the rat was really a hallucination to sink in.”
This evening, I delved deeper into the subject and learned some surprising things. For one, I learned the sleep paralysis is not a health issue and doesn’t mean I really am suffocating! When the symptoms come on, that’s the first symptom: not being able to breathe. My limbs won’t work, I can’t open or close my mouth, I can’t feel my chest moving with my lungs – in short, I feel like I am dying.
In reality, studies have shown that the sufferer is breathing, but the muscles are not awake enough to relay that message to the brain! Now that is a huge relief.
I learned there are several different levels of sleep paralysis including Alien Abduction. No Way! The ancient mythology of Incubus and Succubus are also a level of sleep paralysis. And there’s the Hag: sufferers see a demon-like creature that often sits on one’s chest and seems to squeeze the air out of the lungs.
Sounds like the rat to me! And rings true with other hallucinations I’ve had in the past.
Sleep paralysis can run in families. Hmmm. My little sister sleep-walked and I think she occasionally had sleep paralysis/hallucinations, too. Like the time she claimed a lion was on the bed. She also hit and bit and talked in her sleep.
The episodes can be brought on by a number of triggers, including stress and some health issues. Most episodes occur when the sleeper falls asleep in the supine position. I knew that: I take great care to not fall asleep when I am flat on my back and I try very hard not to sleep on my back. I long ago learned that I could count on an episode of sleep paralysis if I was flat on my back.
I was flat on my back this morning.
All this knowledge has not brought me complete peace. The lingering image of the hallucination taunts me. I’m unusually tired tonight. And Don keeps looking at me sideways, like he’s not really certain I am all right (I keep assuring him that I am and that it’s all due to a sleep disorder called sleep paralysis, but since this is only the second time I’ve ever frightened him by screaming – and he probably doesn’t remember the first time – he’s naturally quite dubious).
I’m going to post a few links if you want to read further on the subject. I know I do: I want to know how to defend myself in the future. (I don’t mean defend myself against the hallucination, but defend myself against the ensuing terror of the sleep paralysis. Defending myself against the hallucination tends to sound like chasing demons, and I prefer to not think that way.)
I’m relieved to know I am not alone. I am relieved to know I am still breathing even when I don’t feel like I am. I’m more relieved to know there is no rat under my bed.
And that’s the truth.
Night Terrors Resource Center (sleep paralysis is not the same as a Night Terror)
and this one is a little strange (and full of grammatical errors: read at your own risk):
Trionic Research Institute (still had some good info to glean)
I’d say “Good Night” here but…
“To sleep, perchance to dream –
ay, there’s the rub.” (Hamlet)
Jaci Dawn 
For the past few years I have had contact with invisible beings and out of body experiences; all in bed. I’ve also had many experiences with lucid dreaming. I don’t know why it happens — it just happens. A typical occurrence is me waking up, completely paralyzed (yet fully conscious), able to feel and hear things happening in the room. I believe the first time I actually encountered a being was my third semester in college when I was lying on my belly in my room with all of the lights on, taking a nap. No one else was in the room, and I woke up paralyzed, unable to move. I heard (what sounded like) many whispers, all in different (possibly the same, but definitely foreign) languages. I could not make out exactly what any of the whispers were, but I did get this: “veng-eance” with a long draw on the “g.” It was a sad and moppy tone, but I heard it clearly, in my right ear specifically … In other attacks I’ve heard angry voices yelling at me and ending with “you’re going to burn in hell.”
Anyway I started a forum for people who have similar experiences: http://www.sleep-paralysis-forum.com/index.php
Come check it out sometime.