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Right Brain/Left Brain Blues

Posted in Uncategorized on January 15, 2013| 4 Comments »

I really don’t have much to say these days. I feel a little like parched ground waiting for the rain (which is a funny thing to say since Oregon just had the fourth-wettest year on record and I really should feel half-drowned). I’m tired, but it isn’t just a physical tiredness. It’s a tiredness of the heart and of the muses. I have creative thoughts, but I haven’t had the energy to put them into existence. By the time I get home from my work day, my brain just wants to shut off.

I figure I work 8 hours a day. Add an hour for lunch and that’s nine hours. Add an hour on either end of my day for the commute, and that’s 11 hours. Some days more, some days a little less. The commute is stressful. My job uses a part of my brain and personality that is not my greatest strength: math, and a lot of it.

So, for 8 hours a day, I operate on the Left-Brain. Then I have to drive which is probably a Left-Brain operation because in order to drive safely and wisely, you have to actually think critically: how much room should I leave between myself and the other cars? Do I have room to make a lane change? How fast is the car on my left shoulder coming and can I change lanes in front of him safely or should I wait? (not to mention: Why do people get on the Freeway if they can’t drive the speed limit? If it says the speed limit is 65 and there are no external complications, then drive the freaking speed limit! Don’t drive 55!)

Sorry, A little road rage spilled over into my blog.

A little? You want road rage? How about drivers in silver cars who think that the rule about turning on headlights in rain/fog/dusk light does not apply to them? SILVER cars that blend in with the silver rain/fog/dusk. When I used to drive an F-250 Super-cab, those people turned their headlights on in a hurry when I needed to make a lane change and I couldn’t see them. Nothing like having a really big truck turn on a blinker that says “I’m coming over!” to wake them up.

Oh, speaking of blinkers. How about those people I call “drifters”? They usually drive something huge, like a Yukon or an Expedition, but sometimes they come in very small packages, like a KIA Optima. You get the first hint that they’re making a lane change when they sort of “drift” toward the line between lanes. Before you know it, they have “drifted” into your lane. No turn signal (what would be the use of that, I ask you? It’s so inconveniently located ON YOUR STEERING COLUMN where you can flip it on with a finger and never lose control of your car.).

Everyone makes a mistake or two when driving, but you can spot the habitual offenders over the “ooops! I really did not see you!” drivers. First, they show no remorse.

There are the habitual tail-gaters. They really can’t figure out why you keep suddenly braking in front of them. Oh, forget that: they’re texting! See the damn phone in their hand? or, if you are behind them: their brake lights keep going on. Um, hey: you wouldn’t have to keep tapping your brakes if you’d BACK OFF a little. Like give the person in front of you a couple seconds? A car length for every ten miles an hour?

Wait, let’s not overdo that. Ever get stuck behind someone who is so terrified of being a tail-gater that he drives a half mile behind traffic and about five miles under the speed limit? Worse, have one in both lanes, so you cannot get around either one but you can see the taillights of traffic traveling at the speed limit in front of you fading into the distance?

The merge-at-the-last-second people. They know their exit is coming up, but they’re so focused on getting ahead of everyone else by just one-more-car that they nearly cause a wreck when they suddenly veer to the right to catch the exit, in that little space between Tailgater#2 and Tailgater #1. Everyone brakes and the bubble of braking flows back for miles until no one knows why they are braking suddenly.

I could go on. This is my brain on work. I get in my car and concentrate for the nearly 1-hour commute north, hoping to avoid a collision with someone who is not paying attention and who doesn’t have a health fear of a collision while swearing at the drivers who putter along at 55 in a 65mph zone. Then I work for four hours on math problems which I can do, but which are not the greatest use of my talents.

I take an hour for lunch. I read a book, work a crossword puzzle, meditate or take a nap. Anything to relax my mind and utilize my natural talents.

Then four hours of more math and linear thinking. And a longer commute home because, somehow, that 22 miles has gotten longer at 5PM. And more dangerous.

By the time I get home, my right-brained self is totally drained and exhausted. I can’t think.

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Frosty

Posted in Uncategorized on January 12, 2013| 4 Comments »

We’re in a freezing weather pattern, with clear skies, arctic air flow, and freezing fog. It’s January, and the conditions are to be expected, but a lovely hoar frost is still a rare visual treat. We don’t usually sink below the freezing mark and stay there for very many days. It happens, and every time it happens, I am struck with awe.

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Of course, the frost here pales in comparison to some places I have lived. We don’t get the deep hoar frost that happens after weeks of sub-zero temps and no sunshine. And I remember rather vividly the winter of 1978-1979 in Eastern Oregon, when the freeze went so deep, the water mains around town froze.

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For me, the freeze is a chance to run around the yard and hunt for the perfect snapshot of frost-laced Something. Like the Oregon Grape with its red stems.

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Spider webs, for instance.

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And Garden Art. The wire stands out against the background when Jack Frost adds his brush.007Waiting for summer.009 008Veins in leaves seem more vivid.019 018 017006Frost outlines objects.002Don’s Bonsai trees take on a different life when they are covered in frost. I should offer to move them into the garage. Just thought of that. Guess I will do that tomorrow. Don can’t lift anything over 15 pounds for a few weeks, so it will be up to me to save the Bonsai. But it is pretty in frost!014This was my favorite photo today: the fern, delicately outlined in white, reaching out to the lens.

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Ocular Migraine

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged on January 9, 2013| 3 Comments »

I plopped down into my squeaky computer chair with the idea that I would write a pithy post tonight. But I noticed something funny on the monitor scree, a funny little rotating light.

I immediately put both hands over both eyes and closed my eyes tight. Yup: funny little light is still there and growing in size. I haven’t lost too much of my vision yet, but I will soon be unable to see peripherally to the left or right (I think it will be to the right as the migraine seems to be in the right eye).

If I close my eyes and concentrate on the lights, I see an image that reminds me of carnival lights: moving, neon, and geometric in shape. It grows as the migraine grows in intensity, but there is no pain associated with it. It will last between 30 and 45 minutes, and then it will fade completely away. If I am unlucky, a headache will follow in about 2 days, but I rarely get the actual head-splitting migraine pain, so I am counting on being lucky.

The first time I experienced one of these, I was about 20 years old. Scared me to death. I thought I was going blind or insane. I made an immediate appointment with an eye doctor who kindly explained the ocular migraine to me in layman’s terms. It was 1976 and he told me that the blood vessels around my ocular nerve were tightening, a phenomena that caused me to see little “halo” lights.

That is not how they describe an ocular migraine in the 21st Century. I do know that If I catch it early enough, taking a single aspirin will stop it in its tracks. I know how long one lasts. I know I cannot drive when I have one (I really do lose the peripheral vision out of whichever eye the migraine is occurring in.

Right now, it is a reverse – C shape and mostly yellow and white, but the geometric shapes are constantly moving and flickering like the old neon lights of my youth. I am having a more difficult time typing as I am missing much of my vision.

This site (AllAboutVision) has the best explanation of what is happening in my eye, and it includes a little graphic that gives you an idea of what an ocular migraine looks like (in case you have never experienced one). Take that graphic and make the lights moving and you have what I see.

Other people describe it differently.

It is full blown now. I have angry red flashing lights, calming blue triangles, and the constant yellow-and-white flashing lights. I cannot see anything in the right area where the lights are: about 6 o’clock and up to the middle of my eye, over to 5 o’clock.

There is no rhyme or reason to an ocular migraine. They just happen, usually in clusters. And sometimes, I don’t have one for a year or so.  If one happens at work, I stop what I am doing a cover my eyes. It’s all I can do.

But if one happens at home, I like to stop and just watch it. It’s like a built-in light show. The lights fluctuate, move around, flash. The shapes change, but they are always geometric in form, although the entire effect is semi-circular. Sometimes I just sit and try to see what I cannot see. The lamp before me or the calendar on the wall, the glass to my right.

They don’t scare me any more. I’ve been having them for 36 years now and I’m somewhat used to them, although the timing is somewhat unnerving (especially if they happen when I need to be driving and I find myself having to wait to drive somewhere, like home from work). I just thank my lucky stars that I rarely get the true migraine that can follow one of these episodes.

This one is almost over. The lights are faded and the blank spot is getting smaller.

I’ll proof this and then post it – would you mind sharing with me if you also suffer ocular migraines and describe what you see when you have one?

WebMD

I’m just curious.

 

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One Week Down

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged , on January 5, 2013| 1 Comment »

One week of 2013, that is, and it isn’t even a complete week, just the first 5 days that are down. We still have 359 to go.

It’s been cold and frosty here since just before the New Year.

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I took a bunch of photos one day, thinking I would get a chance to blog and post them, but it didn’t happen. This was the only good one, anyway: the dog’s wading pool full of oak and Hawthorne leaves, encased in ice.

I worked exactly one day of 2013 so far.

Thursday, we played a little game of role reversal: I drove my husband to the hospital so he could have a double hernia repaired. It was strange being the spouse waiting instead of the patient.

The surgery went well and he was released around 1:30PM, home by 2:00. He’s been very dopey since, and he moves a little like Tim Conway. He said that and when I replied, “yes, you do look a little like Tim Conway, he replied, “Stop that! It hurts to laugh.”

If you don’t know who Tim Conway is, I’m sorry.

Friday, I was a good nurse. It is not my forte. But my dh is a pretty un-demanding patient.

Friday, I finally got a diagnosis for my ailments, too. I am digressing here and I am making this All About Me by inserting this, but then, again, it’s the whole timeline of 2013. I do not have Fibromyalgia or Lupus: I am severely Vitamin D deficient and that (in and of itself) can cause all the symptoms I have been experiencing. I immediately googled it and discovered that one of the diseases associated with Vitamin D deficiency is rickets.

I learned about rickets in the 6th Grade when we studied Vasco de Gama and all the “great” Italian and Spanish explorers of the 14th and 15th Centuries. I remember thinking that rickets was possibly the worst way to get sick, ever, and I lived in mortal fear of setting sail across the Bounding Main and coming down with rickets. It is one reason I steer clear of taking a trip on a cruise ship on any wide open sea or ocean. You could end up with rickets.

Or you could fall over board and get eaten by a shark. It’s that simple.

Not to be dramatic or anything, but severe leg cramps combined with general fatigue and muscle weakness is a sign of rickets. All my symptoms rolled into one great big ball of diagnosis, marketed under “Vitamin D Deficiency.”

I’ve always complained that the Willamette Valley is too overcast for me. Suddenly, the phrase, “I need more sunshine” takes on new (and relevant) meaning. I need more sunshine.

I’m on a Vitamin D2 regimen of 50,000 units per week for 12 weeks. My Internet friends tell me I should take Vitamin D3 instead and I googled that (Vitamin D2 vs. Vitamin D3). I think my friends are right, but I’ll go along with the doctor for now. In 12 weeks, I’ll explain my plan of taking Vit. D3 to him. But first, I just want to feel better. Soon.

Today was a repeat of yesterday, except my husband was moving a little faster. No running marathons, but a big improvement over yesterday. He was a little more like Tim Conway, the aging fireman.

The dogs have been good, considering they do not understand what is going on. Murphy wants to climb onto Don’s lap and doesn’t understand that he is not allowed. Harvey wants to go run a marathon and doesn’t understand why I don’t want to.

I could actually feel Harvey’s ribs this weekend. There’s still a layer of fat over them, but there’s hope. He can lose weight (that would be Resolution #3).

My husband appreciates the prayers and good thoughts of everyone, especially those who are praying I do not kill his dog. Murphy and I have a long history of vying for Alpha Dog position, and with Don stuck in the recliner and unable to play referee, it’s wide open as to which one of us will win: the 90# dog or the <ahem> slightly overweight wife. The <ahem> 45 pounds I have on Murphy don’t count toward much: his are muscle and mine are fat. However, I am more determined than he is. So far, I am winning.

Here’s Don on Day One:

And on Saturday:

(If you don’t pee your pants watching these, there’s something wrong with you. Even Harvey Korman couldn’t keep a straight face to Tim Conway’s antics.)

And that’s just the first five days without the birdwatching thrown in. I’ll post about birds tomorrow.

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2013 Resolutions

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged on January 1, 2013| 7 Comments »

Happy New Year!

I refuse to look back at 2012. I have not given much thought into looking forward at 2013, either.

Here’s my New Year’s Resolutions (in no particular order of importance):

1. Take more photos and get better at photography.

2. Build at least 3 Faerie Houses (and consequently move toward actually selling them).

3. Help Harvey lose 10 pounds. I could lose 10 pounds, too, but Harvey needs to more than I do.

4. Create 3 Magic Wands. I should create more, but 3 seems like a magical number, so I will go with it. Besides, I have 3 in the works.

5. Clean out the garage and the shed. What do you mean that’s not a resolution? It’s a goal, isn’t it? And a very over-due project. I resolve to actually getting it done this year.

6.Declutter. I seriously need to declutter. I am going to have to part with rocks. And old jars. Old bottles. Horse tack that I have no horse to attach it to.

7. Find a church I like and start attending. This is the hardest resolution as I am terminally soured on the “Church” and it is very difficult to resolve to go to church when one’s spouse does not actually tag along, even if he is only pretending to be interested. And notice I did not say “volunteer” at said church. I am not volunteering, at least not as of this moment in 2013. BTDT and have the spiritual scars. But it costs me nothing to attend a church, even if all I do is warm a pew.

8. Fund better charities. Actually, I started that one already. I crossed some charities off of my giving list this year, like World Wildlife Fund. They sent me goodies and mailings and free this and free that all 2012. Seems to me that they could be using their money to save animals, not send out mailers and freebies. I don’t want their freebies: I want them to put their money where their mouth is.

I gave to OPB, Folkalley, Nature Conservancy, Medical Teams International and the American Red Cross. And Goodwill, but that was in the form of cast-offs and I probably purchased an equal amount of cast-offs from Goodwill.

9. Start drawing again. I sort of put drawing and painting off the past two years. I need to get back in the saddle again.

10. Find a suitable place to volunteer at for one day of every month on my boss’ dollar. My employer will pay me 8-hours wages to volunteer and I have not (yet) taken steps to take advantage of that incredibly generous offer. I am considering the local library or finding a nearby horse rescue operation (and by nearby, I mean within 5 miles of my home). I know where one horse rescue operation is (funded by the company I work for) but it is in Washington State and I am not willing to drive that far. I drive nearly that far twice a day every work day and I hate it.

Love horses, but hate traffic.

So there you have them: things I can commit to for 2013.

2013 also holds in promise a trip to Alaska sometime. My newest grandchild is due in April (a girl) and we hope to go north to meet the newest little one. I hate that my kids are spread out so far from me now: south to Colorado or North to Alaska!

I also have to make a trip to Reno to pick up my inheritance which is sitting in a warehouse still.  Which is why resolution #6 is important. I need to declutter in order to clutter.

What are your resolutions? Or are you one of those folks who refuse to resolve? Hey, failure never stopped me. Heck, that’s what it’s all about: seeing how soon you can fail. I give myself six months this year.

 

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Scrub Jay (and a little about Harvey)

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged on December 30, 2012| Leave a Comment »

It has been a day! I took the bird feeder down yesterday and bleached all the parts. I left the thistle feeder and the suet up because the Pine Siskins don’t get into those two feeders and there doesn’t seem to be a problem with the American Goldfinches or the many birds that have figured out how to access the suet feeders.

I put out suet that has black sunflower seeds and insects (meal worms) embedded in it. I purchase it at Backyard Bird Shop and it is made in Portland. The birds *love* it. So does Harvey, but that is another story.

OK, twist my arm. Harvey tends to be on the overweight side. I try to keep from feeding him too many treats and certainly do not offer him much food between meals. But he is still an overweight English Setter. Actually, I think he is a Llewellen Setter but since I have no proof of lineage, it is all speculation. You can google the breeds and I can promise that Llewellans look just like Harvey. Anyway, Harvey found the suet once and pulled it off of the counter and bit into three cakes, eating insects, suet and all. BAD Harvey.

No wonder he is fat.

Anyway, I digress. I am participating in Project Feeder Watch and I watched my feeders again this weekend, despite the fact that the sunflower feeder was missing. Most of our “regular” birds came by, proving that the sunflower feeder is not the only draw. Even the Eastern Fox Squirrels adjusted to the suet and thistle feeders, but they did look a little confused when they climbed the tree and discovered there was no black oil sunflower.

The Pine Siskins did not come. I am sad, but relieved. We will put the feeder back up on New Years’ Day. I will have probably lost the Siskins, but the threat of salmonella will be gone. I can’t have salmonella infect the Band-tailed pigeons or any of my other regulars.

All that to bring you to this. The Western Scrub Jay.

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Birds, Birds, Birds

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged , , , , , , , on December 28, 2012| 1 Comment »

I would have bird-watched anyway. Having no Internet only impeded in the posting of photos, vignettes, and uploading my feeder counts for Project Feeder Watch.

I have four weekends of feeder counts to turn in, but it’s all right. I can do that in less than an hour’s time.

For fun, however, here’s a sample of my bird sightings for the past 4 weekends:

European Starlings. It hasn’t been cold enough to send the pests south. Ironically, what we consider a pestilence and a nuisance bird in the Americas is a bird in serious decline in its Native habitat.

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There are two of them in the suet. They are striking birds in the winter, but I still dislike them. Not to worry: the size of the male Pileated Woodpecker on the other side of our little Lodgepole Pine Tree is enough to shoo the starlings off.

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Pileated Woodpecker. We have at least three that come to the feeder on a regular basis: one female and two males. One male has more white on the “shoulders” of its wings and we think it is the offspring of the mated pair. It’s guess work.

Anna’s Hummingbird. I have succeeded in keeping a pair nearby this winter! It has been a mild winter so far, but Anna’s Hummingbirds overwinter in the Willamette Valley regardless. This is the first time I have had regular hummingbird visitors over the winter.

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Black-capped and chestnut-backed chickadees.(That’s a territorial Pine Siskin in between the chickadees. The one on the left is a Black-capped and the tiny one on the right is a chestnut-backed)

Dark-eyed juncos.

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Red-breasted nuthatch.

Steller’s Jay – the western version of the Eastern Blue Jay.

Western Scrub Jay – a striking bird that is not nearly as blue as the Steller’s or the Eastern, but is still very pretty. And very animated.

House finch.

Purple finch.

Northern Flicker (used to be known as the red-shafted Flicker in the west or the yellow-shafted in the east, but is now considered a single bird with color variations).

One female Ruby-crowned Kinglet. She over-wintered here last winter, too.

One Townsend’s Warbler, most likely the same one that has been here for two winters in a row.

A bazillion Bushtits.

013Band-tailed Pigeons, the only Native North American Pigeon and not to be confused with the common “Rock Dove” you see sitting on statues in parks. (They’re waiting for the Squirrel Family to get out of the feeder.)

003Rufous-sided Towhee.

American Crow.

A pair of Downy Woodpeckers, but never at the same time. One male and one female.

Fox Sparrow.

American Goldfinch.

001 (2)Varied Thrush which is a mountain bird but will show up in my yard when the snows come low.

The Squirrels. I think we have five or six regulars now. This year, we have a pregnant female coming to the feeder. I haven’t seen Captain Jack (the one-eyed squirrel) in a long time.

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And we have a family unit: parent and two siblings. All are invasive Eastern Fox Squirrels although we used to have a Native Douglas Squirrel that came. I think the neighborhood cats got it. 😦

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And the Pine Siskin, which is an irruptive bird. That means you never know when they will visit your feeders, stay for the winter, or disappear altogether from the area.

One morning, I noticed a Pine Siskin that would not budge from the feeder and did not attempt to chase any other birds. I finally took a step ladder out and climbed up to check on it. I wore gloves (my mother’s voice was booming in the back of my head: “Birds carry lice and disease! Do not pick up dead birds!” She usually said this when we had a funeral for a dead bird we picked up on the side of the road).

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The Siskin didn’t even flutter against my hand, but it looked up at me with pain-filled eyes. I told it that it could not die in my feeder, but I had a nice dry spot on the porch, in a flower basket.

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It huddled there and died there.

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They are such tiny birds. My heart broke. I cry when anything dies and this was no exception. Experience told me that I could not save it and experience told me that it would prefer to die in the wild.

A couple days later, on Christmas, I noticed a second failing bird in the feeder. This one fluttered half-heartedly against my glove. I put it in the same planter, but it fluttered to the base of the steps.

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My Christmas guests did not notice it there, gasping for air. But I kept an eye on it and I knew when it passed from this life to the next.

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Tomorrow I am taking down the feeder and cleaning out the area around the feeder. I stumbled onto an article about Salmonella and Pine Siskin deaths.

The article is from a 2008-09 irruption of the active little birds, but I recognized that I have a problem. For starters, we have an irruption of the fickle little birds and then I have two die in a week. I am concerned about the other bird species that come to my feeder, especially the Band-tailed Pigeon.

I foresee a lot of bleach and cleaning over the weekend so we can start 2013 free of bird disease. I hope.

Meanwhile, I buried both bird under a fern. They died free, not inside a cardboard box. And that is how it should be.

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Back From The Black Hole

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged , , , on December 26, 2012| 4 Comments »

We slipped into a Black Hole of non-existence. I do not even know where to start.

I blame Comcast. I am fairly certain they did some not-quite-ethical maneuvering, but I am wise enough to know I probably cannot prove it. Still, this whole bizarre journey began with their bungling of a simple request to change Internet and telephone providers in an effort to save money. Instead, it cost me a lot of time and frustration, the loss of the telephone number we have had for 12 years, and the loss of telephone and Internet service.

We received a nice letter from some airhead at Comcast thanking us for our complaint. I am still undecided about posting that on my blog with a reply (so much time has elapsed in the meantime, mostly because of Comcast’s bungling. CenturyLink was not a whole lot better, but everyone I spoke to on the phone was helpful, nice, polite, and empathetic. I think C-Link only put me on Interminable Hold twice and I only dealt with two people at C-Link who simply could not help me.

I learned a lot about how Big Corporations do business poorly.

Comcast has a Public Relations problem that will never be fixed until they decide to restructure and fire their Voice Activated Automated Answering System (or whatever the hell that quagmire is called) and hire real, trained, local people to answer calls. Not gonna happen, so the best advice I can give anyone is this: DO NOT GO WITH COMCAST UNLESS THEY ARE YOUR ONLY OPTION. And if they are your only option, complain loudly, publicly, online and with Letters to the Editor.

CenturyLink outsources all of their 1-800 calls that are made after working hours (8-6PM locally). Any orders placed after hours is probably going to be lost into the Ethernet connection, never to be retrieved. You may (or may not) receive actual equipment, but the service will never follow unless you call during regular working hours and are willing to talk to someone for at least 30 minutes.

I would not recommend CenturyLink to anyone, either, but it is my only alternative choice to Comcast.

I also learned that it would probably be wise to cave in to the peer pressure of the 21st Century and get a Smart Phone. If one of us had a Smart Phone (which everyone assumes you have), we could have connected to the Internet and posted regular (and scathing) reports to FaceBook. The Smart Phone will have to belong to me because I actually own an old cell phone and have an old pay-as-you-go plan that has worked great for my needs until this past 4 weeks.

My husband’s concession to the 21st Century is to own a SPOT GPS and he only has that because he hikes alone in the Cascades frequently. A cell phone would not help him in the Cascades: there’s no reception. He can almost always ping off of a satellite to let me know he is safe and sound, hence the SPOT. If you have a loved one who spends inordinate amounts of time alone in the wilderness somewhere, make them carry a SPOT.

I digress.

Comcast had our land line disconnected on 11/29 before I had a chance to Activate the order for our new (cheaper) Internet/Phone bundle with them. I was already fed up with their ineptitude which you can read about here and here, if you are so inclined. I mailed their modem back to them on Saturday, December 1.

C-Link was supposed to retrieve our old phone number and set us up with a brand new account on 12/6. The Internet was disconnected on 12/6. But our old telephone number was lost to FCC Cyber-space because Comcast never made it a freaking billing number because Comcast never Activated out <insert several swear words> account because I could never get through to anyone who had the actual ability to flip the freaking switch.

And because (I know, that’s terrible grammar to begin a sentence with “and” and a preposition, but deal with it, OK?) Comcast never made out old phone number a “billing number”, C-Link could not retrieve it and because they could not retrieve it, our order fell through the space between the bars into the Black Hole.

I called – after hours – and reordered a phone/internet connection with C-Link. By now, it was as much a matter of pride (I will NOT use Comcast unless forced to) as it was necessity: we need a land line and CenturyLink is the only available carrier in our area that I will do business with. Barely.

I did not know then what I know now: DO NOT CALL CENTURYLINK AFTER HOURS AND ORDER ANYTHING BECAUSE IT IS A THIRD PARTY VENDOR WHO WILL NOT FOLLOW THROUGH AND WHO DOES NOT CARE ABOUT YOUR ORDER.

Connection date was 12/17. I called C-Link on 12/18 during business hours and reached a wonderful employee name Jolie in the Boise area. Jolie listened to my story, muttered under her breath about third party vendors and then called the Portland area dispatch. Jolie was the person who told me that C-Link outsources after hours and this happens FREQUENTLY.

Long story short, this woman got our telephone line hooked up on 12/19 with a 7mbps Internet connection to follow on 12/24. The out-sourced people told me I could have 12mbps, but that is not true: Portland isn’t set up for 12 mbps. 7 is the highest we go as of 12/12.

MEANWHILE. If you thought all of that was difficult to follow, my life got even more bizarre at work. Or maybe that’s non-existent? I mean, where do you go when you slip into a Black Hole? Out the other side? And what is there?

On the day our Internet was disconnected, I arrived at work to find my computer completely shut down. I never shut down my work computer. I just lock it. The darn thing would take over 30 minutes to load if I shut it down and restarted it every day. Operating system: Windows 2003. Apparently, hamsters had moved into my machine overnight and were working the hamster wheel rather furiously.

I turned it on briefly to check. Yep. There were definitely hamsters running the ungreased wheel. It sounded awful and I shut it off. A co-worker took it apart and tried to save the fan. No Go. A new computer was ordered, but it didn’t arrive at the IT Dept. for several days. In short, for 9 days I was without a working computer of my own at work. My entire job is on a computer. I spent 4-6 hours a day on my boss’ computer while she twiddled her thumbs. She used her computer when I was not on it.

I couldn’t even sneak in FaceBook time at work because I wasn’t at my own work station and I didn’t have my break or lunch time available to me.

I did have my Kindle Fire that Don got me for my birthday. But in order to use that, I had to either set up shop at a local coffee shop or the library – and that had to be on my spare time. Interestingly enough, there are more free WiFi spots in the little town where I live than there are in West Portland where I work – so I had to schedule WiFi time for weekends.

My Kindle saved Christmas. I just wanted to say that: I got all the grandkids’ gifts ordered and shipped while sitting at the local library and accessing Amazon.com.

ANYWAY… On December 22, we got Direct TV. I didn’t really want a TV package, but Jolie worked it in at a really cheap discount and my husband is going to be down for a month after a surgery, so I figured it would be cheap entertainment. He’s already addicted. I knew he would be. I read to decompress and he watched TV to decompress after a long day at work.

But NO INTERNET.

How hard is this? Oh, you do not want to ask. I called CenturyLink on 12/24 but they were off for the Holiday. I couldn’t be mad: I was off for the Holiday, too. A bonus Holiday day, gifted by the president of the company I work for.

I called again today. The gal I reached insisted the Internet was turned on on 12/24.I insisted it was not. She insisted I should check another phone jack. I sighed. OK. I already blew up at Comcast people, but this gal was trying very hard to be nice and let’s put things into perspective: my grandchildren are all alive. None of my relations lives in Newtown, CT.

I told her I would try one more time.

And in the most bizarre twist of all: another phone jack worked. Our freaking phone jack by the main computer is DEAD. Sometime between the disconnection on 12/6 and today, it died a terrible death.

I hope it did not involve hamsters. I doubly hope it did not involve mice. We have big dogs. Big dogs should eat mice. This is why I want a cat.

We made a trip to the local Kroger’s, got a longer phone cord, and jury-rigged* the modem/router.

And we have Internet. Ta Da!

*jury-rigged: “Jury rigging refers to makeshift repairs or temporary contrivances, made with only the tools and materials that happen to be on hand. Originally a nautical term, on sailing ships a jury rig is a replacement mast and yards improvised in case of damage or loss of the original mast.” (Wikipedia)

It is *not* “jerry rigged” as most people mispronounce it. It’s one of those grammatical things.

I’m just happy to have Internet. And a Land Line. And my husband is happy to have Direct TV.

 

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A Christmas Horse

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged on December 4, 2012| 2 Comments »

Every year I put it at the top of my Christmas Wish List:

A HORSE.

Every year, Santa failed to deliver.

I was barely toddling when I first fell in love with horses. I turned ten thinking I could still grow up to be a horse. By the time I was 13, Wild Horse Annie was my biggest heroine. By the time I was 17, I was resigned to the fact that I probably was never going to find a horse hidden in the garage on the morning of December 25th.

I married, had children, and moved to the city. And I still wrote it on the top of my Christmas Wish List: A HORSE.

My husband just smiled.

1990. We joined a small church congregation in 1988, one of those “name-it-and-claim-it” congregations coming out of the 1980’s. One of my church friends told me how she had “prayed in” a free horse: a 28-year old Thoroughbred retiree with an attitude. The horse was so old, she was beyond riding. But she was a horse and she was free.

I’m not always known for being tactful. I told another friend that, “If I prayed in a horse, she’d be 2 years old, a strawberry roan, and gentle. She’d be a free Arab.”

Bragging is a sin, but apparently God didn’t take it that way. The next thing I knew, the second friend placed one of those grocery store bulletin board ads into my hand:

FREE HORSE. 2 YEARS OLD. GREEN BROKE. ARAB. KIDS WON’T TAKE CARE OF HER SO I SAID I’M GIVING HER AWAY.

I showed it to my husband. To my surprise, he said I should inquire. We were moving out to a rural location where we could keep a horse.

With shaking hands, I dialed the number.

With shaking heart, we went out to see the horse.

It was love at first sight on both ends.006

Her name was Shandar’s Whisper. She was half-Arab and half-Appaloosa, a descendant of Hallany Mistanny.

She wasn’t worth any money because the man who gave her away didn’t have her dam anymore, and her dam carried the pedigree. She should have been a papered Appaloosa, but the owner of the sire refused to sign off on the paperwork. So she was a Mutt of a horse, an unregistered half-Arab/Appy mare with no future. The teenagers loved her, but they kept forgetting to feed her and the man was making good on a father’s promise:

“If you don’t feed that horse, I am giving her away.”

Christmas, 1990. Whisper came into my life. We had many good years together.

She taught me to overcome my fear of horses. She reminded me why I feared horses. She kicked me. I taught her not to even lay her ears back at me. With the help of friends, she even got some basics in reining down.

My son rode her. My daughter showed her in 4-H (they didn’t win much for ribbons: Whisper hated 4-H and Arwen was not a fan of Whisper’s). As we aged, Whisper and I learned to take solitary rides in the woods.

That was a huge step for me: to ride a horse where there was no one to help me if I got into trouble. But I found Whisper to be a reliable horse, a great bush-whacking horse, and a willing horse, even if she picked up her pace when we headed back to the pasture.

She had a sense of humor.

Last night, I dreamed about her. I dreamed that we rode along a long stretch of river with wolves howling after us and danger all around. I dreamed we rode into a town. I dreamed someone else took her from me and rode her and declared her a wonderful mount.

In reality, we gave her away to a family with grandchildren. They rode her for a few years before they gave her away. She would be 24 years old now.

I don’t know where she is now, but I sure do miss her some days. My Christmas horse.

The Christmas horse God gave me. She was 2 years old, technically was a varnish roan, and gentle. She was a free Arabian.

Never give up on your dreams. You never know how they will be fulfilled.

(read the Wiki article to find “varnish roan”)

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the World of SPAM

Posted in Uncategorized on December 3, 2012| Leave a Comment »

And I don’t mean the Museum of Spam, which some relatives of mine have actually visited.

Here’s a sampling of the SPAM I have accumulated on this blog over the past couple of weeks:

From Viviscal Hair Loss, there’s the profound comment: “It’s enormous that you are getting thoughts from this piece of writing as well as from our discussion made here.”

Makes me want to wear a metal colander on my head. Maybe that would protect me from the “thoughts”.

piracetam (a pharmaceutical company?) commented: We corresponded and spoke on the phone. I heard her passion and engaged. One thing led to another and all of a sudden I found myself on a plane to LA to photograph on a movie set with some of the most impressive, talented people in Hollywood film. I have to admit that part of what captured my attention is that Stephanie Martin co-wrote a script with her Wellesley classmate Jessica Walsh to point out the issues surrounding mustangs in the American West. She happened onto my web site and found some inspiration and formed a story where a magazine photographer has an encounter with a mustang named Phantom and ends up photographing a BLM round up of wild horses. No, it isn’t about me specifically–I wasn’t arrested (that would be EARLIER in my career) and I didn’t grow up in Nevada (Indiana), but I was intrigued that my life and my photographs of wild horses triggered a reaction from her, and something told me this would be an interesting experience.”

Say what?

The odd thing about this item is that 1) I grew up in Nevada and 2) one of my high school classmates is very involved in wild horse photography. This could almost be a believable story plot, except for the Hollywood portion. Maybe I should save it and use it for a NaNoWriMo novel plot in 2013. I wouldn’t think it’s plagiarism, since I’m stealing it from SPAM. What do you think?

maheshkumar235436886 had this dandy to say: Wonderful information, I had come to know about your blog from my friend nandu , hyderabad,i have read at least 7 posts of yours by now, and let me tell you, your website gives the best and the most interesting information. This is just the kind of information that i had been looking for, i’m already your rss reader now and i would regularly watch out for the new posts, once again hats off to you! Thanks a ton once again, Regards, Plots For Sale in Manitoba.”

There was a hyper-link in there that I deleted: Plots for sale in Manitoba? What kind of plots? When I think “plots for sale”, I think cemeteries. Why would I want to buy a plot in Manitoba? Isn’t Manitoba on the flat side? If I was going to go Canada, I think I’d go Yukon Territories.

Truth is, I am planning to go more “Sam McGee” a la Robert Service.

We Buy Any Car says: “I vindicatory like the rich substance you engage for your articles. I’ll bookmark your weblog and control erstwhile solon redress here regularly. I’m clean sure I leave hear plenty of new matter ethical here! Champion of hazard for the succeeding!”

I’m glad I’m ethical. I’ll take the title. “Champion of the hazard for the succeeding!” (vindicatory? is that a word, even?) (“erstwhile”? “redress”? – Sorry We Buy Any Car: “I do not thin’ that means what you thin’ it means” – Inigo Montoya, The Princess Bride.)

tn pas cher: “Its like you read my mind! You seem to know so much about this, like you wrote the book in it or something. I think that you could do with a few pics to drive the message home a little bit, but other than that, this is magnificent blog. A fantastic read. I’ll certainly be back.”

Hey, I like this one. A magnificent blog! A fantastic read! It’s like I “wrote the book in it or something.” (Nevermind the bad grammar – this person is full of praises for my blog. It’s probably a translation problem and should be “on it or something.”) I should have approved that comment.

Stephen Abramovitz: “Hello Web Admin, I noticed that your On-Page SEO is is missing a few factors, for one you do not use all three H tags in your post, also I notice that you are not using bold or italics properly in your SEO optimization. On-Page SEO means more now than ever since the new Google update: Panda. No longer are backlinks and simply pinging or sending out a RSS feed the key to getting Google PageRank or Alexa Rankings, You now NEED On-Page SEO. So what is good On-Page SEO?First your keyword must appear in the title.Then it must appear in the URL.You have to optimize your keyword and make sure that it has a nice keyword density of 3-5% in your article with relevant LSI (Latent Semantic Indexing). Then you should spread all H1,H2,H3 tags in your article.Yada yada yada” (he went on and on and on)

Well. Stephen. You should have read the other comments first. tn pas cher likes my blog. It’s “magnificent” and “fantastic”. I reject your criticism, Stephen. I don’t need all that SEO, H1,H2,H3, mumbo jumbo. But, hey, in all fairness, maybe it’s constructive criticism. Right?

Jorge Bella is clearly another fan of mine: “Hey there, just became aware of your blog through Google, and found that it is really informative. I will be grateful if you continue this in future. Numerous people will be benefited from your writing. Cheers!”

Thank you, Jorge, thank you. You may now cease to applaud. Sit down, Jorge. Jorge! You’re embarrassing me! Shush!

Aw shucks!

Canada Goose Parka Trillium: “The truth is quite other than what you think.He was born in New York.I wish I knew my neighbor.He holds a position of great responsibility upon him.It’s very thoughtful of you.I’m happy to meet youI’m happy to meet youHe ran his horse up the hill.There comes a bus.There are mice in Mrs.”

I think Canada Goose Parka Trillium is just trying to type in enough words to win NaNoWriMo for 2012. If you just keep typing, maybe you’ll come up with a plot.

Oh, hey – I completed my novel for NaNoWriMo. 50,944 words. It reads a lot like Canada Goose Parka Trillium’s comment to my blog, but who cares?

Winner-180x180

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