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Archive for March, 2011

Night Cat

I woke up in the fuzzy darkness that exists at 4:oo in the morning. I lay still, trying to fall back into whatever dream I left, but my body needed to get up. Sighing, I obeyed..

A black shadow of a cat rose from where it was sitting in the hallway. It turned and padded silently away, turning right into the kitchen.

I blinked.

I do not like hallucinations at 3:56AM when I am the only being awake in the house.

I laid back down, trying to shake the image off. Don grunted in his sleep and one of the dogs stirred in a kennel. The house was silent. No birds called outside and no rain dripped off the roof onto the ramp outside our bedroom. Silence.

Like a cat that doesn’t want to be heard or seen.

This house is not haunted. If it is haunted, it is a benign haunt. I’ve lived in haunted houses. I’ve lived with a poltergeist in the house. This house is not haunted.

So where did the cat come from? It wasn’t a shadow of Ziggy: he had no tail and this cat had a long tail. It wasn’t Nimrod: he’s still alive & enjoying the fat life at his new home. It moved like Smokey, but Smokey never lived in this house and she’s been gone for years.

I sighed. I got up and went to the bathroom and came back to bed turning no lights on. The house was silent, the night cat was gone: a hallucination left over from REM sleep.

It didn’t frighten me. Unnerved me some, but my heart rate never picked up. I’ve thought about it all day: Shadow Cat moving in the dark recesses, silently padding along the halls of my memories; Night Cat waiting for me to rise and the day to welcome it; Imaginary Cat left over from the Dream World, trapped in the dusk between night and dawn.

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Animal Antics

I didn’t think this weekend was going to amount to much but sometime this afternoon everything broke loose: animals started visiting the bird feeder and I made some real progress artistically. Now it is nearly nine o’clock in the evening (PDT) and I am feeling like I actually accomplished something this weekend!

I blogged about the artistic developments on my other blog: here, here & here.

The animals get to be featured here.

First, there was the usual squirrelly business going on. I glanced out and saw the native Douglas squirrel was feeding. But, wait…

but wait… There’s something odd about that tail! There’s another squirrel in there and it isn’t the same species as the first!

I decided to try to sneak outside to see if I could get a better photo of the non-native Eastern Fox Squirrel sharing with the Douglas Squirrel.

They both tensed up.

Douglas Squirrel decides he is going to be out of there if I come any closer. The Fox Squirrel has taken notice of me through the glass.

Whoa! Hang on there, Douglas! Fox Squirrel made the first move and flew off of the feeder. He moved so fast the camera couldn’t catch him.

A little spooky at how fast Douglas recovered and made it up into the tree!

All calm now, just waiting for that pesky human to leave me be!

But the drama wasn’t over. After the squirrels left, I finally got some bird visitors.

What was a dry birdwatching weekend was ending with several bird sightings. I stood in the kitchen window and tried to capture as many images as I could with my little lens.

Black-capped Chickadee. We also get the Chestnut-backed Chickadee which is much smaller.

And the red-breasted Nuthatch. I love these birds. Nyet-nyet-nyet! they have the most annoying little bird call but when you hear it in the woods, you know all is well.

And all is well as my day ends well.

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Toolbox!

A couple weeks ago my husband asked me if I’d like a toolbox. He had just purchased a very nice one from Snap-On Tools but it was a little too large for what he wanted it for (a chain saw & the extras). He didn’t really want to go through the hassle of returning it, so he asked me if I would like it.

Some men buy their wives flowers, candy and jewelry. Mine thinks I would like a toolbox.

The thing is: he was right.

It is too heavy to haul around a lot of places but it is perfect for storing my craft paints for easy access. I’m sure I will fill it all up in short order.

Cool, huh?!

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I wrote on my calendar back in February that I needed to have my rain barrel up & operational by the first of March. That didn’t happen, so I thought maybe I could at least get it out by the first day of Spring.

But I didn’t count on a few details, like needing my husband to cut the down-spout to the right height. I could do it, but when you’re messing with a man’s territory it is best to let the man make the adjustments. I know Don would frown on it if I rearranged the water spout and he wasn’t home today. But I did buy some paving stones to put under my barrel, completely forgetting that I needed cinder blocks because it has a spigot on the bottom.

At least the ground is level.

I decided to put out more bird feeders today as well. I filled the goldfinch feeder with Nyger thistle and filled two hummingbird feeders. The weather is starting to warm up and I hope to attract some colorful little birds to the yard.  Did you notice the forsythia is opening up?

I only partially filled this one because I expect the ants will find it before I get too many hummingbirds to come by.

The rest of the day I bird-watched.

Not exactly, but I checked out my window several times in hopes of catching the first migrating goldfinch. I did see some pretty birds and one Douglas Squirrel. I let the squirrel be: he doesn’t compete that much for the bird seed.

In all, this weekend I counted:

2 Western scrub jays

2 Song sparrows

1 Chipping sparrow

2 Black-capped Chickadees

2 Chestnut-backed Chickadees

2 House finches (one male, one female)

2 Northern Crows

and 1 Brown Creeper.

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Waiting

I know that in the Grand Scheme of things, my life is pretty insignificant, but… This week has been a hard week emotionally on me.

First, there was the earthquake and tsunami in Japan. Things like that affect me very deeply even when I do not have emotional ties to the place or people, and this time I had emotional ties. All I can do is pray for the people of Japan. Well, I did a little more: I gave to Medical Teams International (From their Mission Statement: “To demonstrate the love of Christ to people affected by disaster, conflict and poverty around the world.”) Medical Teams International is one of the highest-rated charities, meaning what you donate to a cause goes to that cause and not to overhead. Every penny. My boss is (or was) on the board of Medical Teams International, too, so I feel like it is a very home-grown charity.

Then my son left for Iraq. I don’t pretend to think this is harder on me than it is on his wife. My heart breaks for Kaci, but she’s strong and she will manage somehow over the next eight months. I’m certainly not very happy with it, either, but it is what he does and he understands the risks.

Daylight Savings Time happened, too. Yes, I like the extra hour of daylight in the evening, but that alarm clock is killing me this week. I’m not a morning person and I drag all summer in the early morning. I’d be happy if we just stayed on Standard Time and I could sleep in a little every day. Oh, heck: I’d be happy if I could sleep until nine every day!

And then there’s the cloud of mystery that is hanging over my health. If you just popped in, I have what they call “hematuria“. When it started, back in January, it was gross hematuria which means pink pee. No pain, no injury. Just this new thing in the toilet (can I write that on a blog?).  I laughed it off the first two weeks: it’s a bladder infection, antibiotics will work…

It has now been 10 weeks. We have eliminated infection and injury, and now we have eliminated every organ in my body except my bladder.

I had a C-T scan and an ultrasound. Yeah.

So here are the results to date:

I have two very fine kidneys. The left one holds a teeny-tiny oval kidney stone that isn’t moving much, doesn’t cause any pain, and is not the source of any blood.

I have a very healthy liver, pancreas and spleen. Do you even think about having a pancreas or a spleen? How important are those, anyway? All I know about a spleen is this: my daughter had mononucleosis (twice) and the doctors told her not to lift anything over 5 pounds or she’d rupture her spleen and die. That’s what I know about a spleen (and I know that it is not a very large organ, having seen it in black-and-white on the ultrasound monitor).

I have a very healthy gall-bladder but there are four tiny, almost minute, polyps inside of it that I am supposed to keep an eye on. (Read: I should have a follow-up ultrasound in a year to see what the polyps are doing. I wonder if they will be having a tea party? The gall bladder looked sort of like a Hobbit cave…) Right now, I am hard-pressed to even care if I have polyps (are they stalagmite or stalactite in position? That is the only question I have).

(Do you, Dear reader, know the difference between stalagmite and stalactite? I do. I’ve been through Lehman Caves a bazillion times. Well, 20 times at the very least. I could lead a tour. I could turn the lights off, too. That’s really scary in the bottom of Lehman Caves because there is no dark darker than where there is no light at all. I love it. And my gall-bladder looked like a very dark cave.)

This news is supposed to make me feel better. I think. Except it doesn’t. It just eliminates every fail-safe possibility as to why I am bleeding and slowly narrows it down to the one cause that is not good. Is. Not. Good.

I suppose it could still be some benign bizarre bladder business, like a … umm.. a… (help me out here, folks!) POLYP. Yes, a benign bladder polyp.

I like that word: polyp.

Next installment of this bizarre bladder business will be after April 4. Just think: you get almost 3 weeks of not hearing about my bladder. Lucky you.

Wow. I can’t believe how much better I feel after making fun of my own body. This is actually very good therapy. For me. Probably not for my friends.

ttfn – love you all!

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Rambles

Yesterday’s post was a rambling mess. I reread it this morning and thought, “I should have slept on that.” It needed a lot of editing and I could have pared several paragraphs off to make it concise. I was just too tired to do it.

I am truly concerned about the people of Japan, probably more than I am concerned with any other demographic of human crisis at the moment. We all have our “pets” and I will always have a soft spot for Japan.

I could do a whole “apologetics” post here, but I’d mess it up and I don’t have the heart or energy to try to edit something that massive. I love God. I believe in His Majesty, His Divine creativity, His love for mankind and this tiny planet in a huge Universe, and His compassion for the individual. I believe He loved me when I still hated Him (and all of His followers). And it is that passion that drove me to write what I wrote yesterday.

I am just sorry I left perfectionism at the door and hit “Publish” before editing the heck out of that essay. It looks like a windstorm plowed through and gathered thoughts before dumping them into paragraphs. It looks like the street out beside our house after yesterday’s wind-and-thunderstorms.

SO: note to self. EDIT EDIT EDIT. Sleep on it and EDIT, especially when trying to write about something I feel passionately about.

And please – do not repost that stupid video of that stupid, silly, naive girl celebrating that she prayed in death & destruction on Japan. She did no such thing and even if she had prayed that way, God would have ignored her. He set plate tectonics in motion when He founded the earth and He is no respecter of persons. If rain is going to fall, it’s going to fall on everyone.

End of story.

P.S. Thank you for all the comments on Facebook. Apparently I hit a nerve with a lot of people even though I was ranting out of control.

P.S.S. Has anyone ever researched Shintoism? My favorite theory is that one of the Lost Tribes of Israel settled in Japan.

OK. I will shut up now. I’m going to press the Publish button.

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Japan

I don’t have the initiative to scan photos from my time in Japan just now (and my scanner is buried under paperwork I need to deal with before next Monday). And the photos would be irrelevant anyway: I was 17, the year was 1974, and there was no earthquake. The only dramatic thing that happened was Richard M. Nixon stepped down from the presidency and I watched it on Japanese television, feeling a million miles away from home.

I didn’t feel sorry for the President. That was a long time coming.

I do not believe the Japanese people have changed that much. They are a resilient people with deep-rooted traditions and a moral code to make any hell-fire Christian blush.

I remember mentioning this to my son last Sunday as we watched wave after wave of tsunami crash over villages and farmlands on the available videos online. My daughter-in-law expressed surprise, but Levi understood what I was saying: there would be no looting or stealing in Japan. Everything would be handled in a very orderly fashion because: Japanese people do not steal. They do not loot. They believe they are all in it together and they are going to take care of each other first.

I was not surprised when the American media began to pick up on that anomaly. What should have looked like the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina or the tsunami over Indonesia looked more like a very organized and calm queue of people waiting their turn for ten items in the only surviving grocery store, for five gallons of gas, for bottled water. The Japanese (who survived Hiroshima and Nagasaki) are not about to lose face in the face of this newest disaster. They have their personal ethics and pride to maintain.

I was surprised at how quickly the hate rhetoric came out of the wood-work. God’s wrath. Heathen Nation. End Times. Judgment Day.

Wow. Really? Because the Shinto-Buddhist Nation of Japan puts the pseudo Judeo-Christian Nation of the United States to shame in how they handle a crisis. Kindness, order, and generosity are the order of the day in Japan. What do you think would be the order of the day if it was Portland, Oregon, that was just hit with a 9.0 magnitude earthquake?

If I was not already a believer in Jesus Christ, the rhetoric I have seen spouted from some of my Facebook “friends” would turn me off completely. Do we really think our non-believing friends and family understand terms like “End Times” or “Judgment” in any other context than WE are judging THEM? That our God is a hateful, murderous, spiteful God Who somehow has spared the American coast from a terrible disaster and has instead dumped it on an island people whose National moral code puts ours to shame?

There was the video (I can’t give you the link because YouTube has removed it) posted by some young girl who was “celebrating” because her fasting & praying had caused God to shake the earth and “wake up” the Nation of Japan to His Mercy. Babies, children, husbands, wives, sons, daughters – all dead because this kid fasted & prayed? Aside from the fact that a prayer like that is manipulative and all about “power” (and very unlikely to be answered by a loving God), just what does this sort of “witness” accomplish? Last time I read the Word, it said “pure religion is to visit the fatherless and widows” not to pray God would create the fatherless and widows. James 1:27

Glenn Beck claims the earthquake is a call to Japan to “follow the Ten Commandments”. Another “wow”: There’s no stealing, looting, rioting, shooting at rescue helicopters, or even cursing God from the survivors of the tsunami and earthquake in Japan. If that is not “following the Ten Commandments”, what is? And did Glenn Beck forget that God sent Jesus to fulfill the law that we could not follow? The Ten Commandments are nice, but they are so Old Testament and were replaced with “love thy neighbor as thyself.” (Galatians 5:14)

I have another friend on Facebook who is ranting about nuclear meltdown, chaos, are you ready, and make certain you’ve purchased your stock of potassium iodine. All in the same breath, it seems.

Let me tell you about ready. I am ready. If Jesus comes back tonight or I find out I have bladder cancer tomorrow, I am ready. I am not afraid. I am not running out and buying a year’s supply of potassium iodine to protect myself from the possibility of nuclear radiation drift (thus leaving some more needy soul without because – heaven forbid – they did not think ahead. Besides, doesn’t this remind anyone of the Y2K hype?). I have made my peace.

I’m no fan of nuclear power (I celebrated the day Trojan Power Plant went down in a boom and a puff of dust and smoke, thus ending Oregon’s greatest threat to my health).  I pray for the people of Japan, that this is truly not a melt-down of Chernobyl magnitude (not like they haven’t faced something similar before, like around August 7-9, 1945). And don’t get me wrong: I believe the Enola Gay was the only answer to the war on the Pacific front in 1945. It was a horrific thing to have to do, but talk to any survivor of the Death Marches on the Pacific Islands and the cruelty of the Royal Japanese Army of the 1940’s – and their single-minded loyalty to the Rising Sun – and you can draw your own conclusions.

What I am saying is simple: I am a Christian. I do not waver in my faith. I do not believe God pulled Japan out of a hat and sentenced doom on the Japanese because they are a heathen nation. I do believe the laws of physics and plate tectonics had a greater role in deciding who  got the great 9.0 this time around. It could have been us and we were not spared because we are 1) a Christian nation 2) so very good  and always obedient to the Ten Commandments 3) we back Israel in all things (ha!) or any other “luck of the draw” theories. We’re due. It’s simple mathematics.

Is it End Times? How would I know? I don’t. I just figure every day I get up I should be prepared. And every day that I get up, I recognize that I know fewer and fewer people who believe the way I do. And I want less and less for them to suffer because they disagree with me.

Jesus was not a political creature. That was Judas. I think Judas repented of is decision and he went to Heaven, by the way. I have a hard time imagining Jesus sending one of His own good friends to hell, even if His friend stole money from the purse and turned him in with a kiss on the cheek. Judas was just a man with a political cause who thought he was getting sold out and then realized the ones who paid him off were the ones selling him out.

But I also believe God takes all of our animals to Heaven. And you should see the arguments you can get into on a “Christian” forum about that – even though the Bible specifically mentions animals in Heaven and Jesus riding a white horse!

In conclusion, I want to say this: I am a believer in Jesus Christ. That was a hard-won victory for God. I do not believe God just rained down judgment on Japan: I believe sh*t happens (apologies to my sensitive friends and my mom in Heaven as she just rolled her eyes at me) to the good and to the evil, equally. I believe we choose how we deal with it and we should all take a lesson from the irreligious Nation of Japan as they dig into their Shinto roots to deal with this latest disaster on their small island. I do not believe Japan is innocent. I do not believe WE are innocent.

I do believe we are all in this together and we better reach out, regardless of faith or creed or moral code and help one another.

postscript – I know there are some grammatical & spelling errors. I’m too tired to go look for them. You figure it out.  AND – I love you all. My heart hurts for Japan. I have friends there. I do not know how they are because I lost touch with them over 30 years ago. But they are my friends forever.

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Herding Cats…

is easier than posing little boys for a family photo!

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They Are Home now

We had a wonderful week with Levi, Kaci and the boys. Different boys than I usually blog about: these are my Colorado boys, Justin & Micah. Sadly, it came to an end today and I had to take them to the airport (in the “worst wind storm of the winter”). All I will say about that is that is was darn wet, the road mist from dualies & semis is always worse than the rain itself, and we made it safely to the airport.

Levi & Justin

Levi, Micah & Kaci

Micah

Giggling cousins. (No, this was not the spitting contest. Darn, I wish I had the camera for that! One boy would blow a raspberry and the other two followed suit. Then they dissolved into giggles. Boys!)

“Poppa” and the “twins” : Justin and Javan vying for Poppa’s favor.

Grandma and Justin.

Thank you, Kaci.

I meant to get a photo of all three of my kids together: Arwen, Levi & Chrystal. But I put it off, thinking I would get a second chance. Unfortunately, we didn’t get to see Chrystal again (Levi & Kaci did, but not me with my camera) while Levi was here. Dang! I must remember to get photos the FIRST time they are all together, “just in case”.

 

I miss them already. Levi leaves for Iraq this week. 😦

But I am so very happy I got this week with them!!

ttfn (tomorrow I will post “Herding Cats” – a light moment in photographing grandsons.)

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House Guests Coming!

I am about to call it a night. My house is as clean as it is going to be with the dogs and the mud/dust/hair that they create. My studio is as kid-proof as it is going to get. I’ve pulled out the inflatable queen-sized bed, purchased new guest pillows, located the sheets and blankets to put on the bed and cleared a place for it. I’ve been to the grocery store and stocked up on what I hope is enough food for four adults plus 1 toddler (at least). Don and I have arranged our schedules to take staggered days off.

And I am tired. Beat. Sore all over. I’m not sure if it was the two strenuous walks with Harvey in cold air or the mopping, but I sure feel like I’ve been through the exercise mill! Wiped out.

My son and his wife are coming for a visit!

Late tonight, my son and his lovely wife and two wonderful, adorable little boys will be getting off of a plane at PDX International and my husband will pick them up and bring them home. Don is taking Tuesday and Wednesday off from work. Tuesday because he knows he won’t want to get up at 4:00AM to go to work after the late-night airport run and Wednesday because he really wants to spend time with his son and grandsons.

I am taking Thursday and Friday off to hang out with my daughter-in-law, love on those babies, and hug on my son.

They fly back out on Sunday. And sometime next week – probably on the biggest American-Irish holiday of the year – my son will fly out to Iraq for 8 months. Yes, Virginia, America is still deploying soldiers to Iraq. Yay for “pulling out all American troops”.

I probably will not blog while the grandboys are here. I will, however, take a whole boatload of photos (I was going to write something else, but I don’t want to give my friend, Jodi, apoplexy because I said the “s” word twice in one month) (besides, my mother in heaven rolls her eyes every time I swear and I feel guilty for using words she did not approve of in casual conversation).

I’m a middle child.

I am also a very excited grandmother. I can’t wait to get to meet Micah, the youngest of them all, and become more acquainted with Justin (who is very close in age to Javan). I have stories to read the boys and hugs to give them.

And I hate to confess this because anyone who really knows me knows how much I hate any kind of monkey, but… since Justin loves monkeys… I bought him a stuffed monkey. It almost killed me, but what we do for our grandbabies…

ANYWAY –  I bought this monkey. And it is almost cute.

 

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